Türk Öğrencilerin Yaygın İngilizce Yanlışları -- 06 : Crazy Language

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English crazy language


English crazy language

(İnternet kaynaklarından küçük değişiklikler derlenmiştir.)



They decided not to present the present at present. [ pri-ZENT  ---  PRE-zınt  ---  PRE-zınt ]

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. [ di-ZÖ:T  ---  di-ZÖ:T  ---  DE-zıt ]

The dump was so full that they had to refuse more refuse. [ rif-YU:Z  ---  REF-yu:z ]

Mean wages mean a lot to a mean man in a mean house in a mean neighbourhood with mean neighbours, who is himself rather mean to his neighbours and keeps a cat as mean as himself.

I must buy some polish to polish our Polish furniture. [ P@-liş  ---  P@  ---  POU-liş ]

On one side of the bass drum was painted a bass. [ BEYS  ---  BÆ:S ]

A bandage is carefully wound around the wound. [ WAUND  ---  WUND ]

The boy threw a stone at it, and the dove dove (= dived) into the bushes. [ DAV  ---  DOUV ]

We bought a farm to produce produce. [ prı-CYU:S  ---  PR@-cyu:s ]

Do you object to this object?  [ ıb-CEKT  ---  @B-cikt ]



The insurance was invalid for the invalid. [ in-VÆ-lid  ---  in--li:d ]

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. [ RAU ---  ROU (ağız kavgası  --  kürek çekmek)]

They were too close to the door to close it. [ KLOUS ---  KLOUZ ]

The buck does funny things when the does are present. [ DAZ ---  DOUZ (a doe= dişi geyik veya tavşan)]

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. [ SOU-ı(r) ---  SYU-ı(r) (sewer = dikiş diken;  sewer = lağım)]

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. [ SAU ---  SOU (dişi domuz  --  tohum dikmek, ekmek)]

I couldn't wind up the machine because of the high wind.  [ WAYD ---  WİND ]

After a number of injections my jaw got number. And after a number of injections my leg got number and number[ NAM-bı ---  NAM- (numb /namm/  --  hissiz, uyuşarak duyarlığını yitirmiş)]

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.  [ TEE ---  TİI (yırtık  --  gözyaşı)]

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.  [ sıb-CEKT  ---  SAB-cikt ]

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?  [ İN-ti-MEYT  ---  İN-timit ]



We take various expressions for granted. But if we explore their paradoxes, we find that...

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand usually works very slowly.

Boxing rings are square.

Guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

Writers write but fingers don't fing.

Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham.

Writers write, readers read, and swimmers swim. But why is it that hammers don't ham, fingers don't fing, and grocers don't groce?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

Or, one goose, 2 geese? So one moose, 2 meese?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Since a vegetarian eats vegetables, why shouldn't a humanitarian eat humans?

They're gonna take me away, HA HA... They're gonna take me away, HO HO  --  HEE HEE  --  HA HA...





Have a few drinks before you get yourself engaged in an animated conversation -- and you'll see the tremendous difference it'll make !!

A few problems might creep up, though -- like:

Things that are difficult to say when you've had a few drinks:

"Indubitably" [Doğrusu: in-CYU-bitıbli ]
"Innovative" [Doğrusu: İN-nıvıtiv ]
"Preliminary" [Doğrusu: pre--minıri ]
"Proliferation" [Doğrusu: prolifı-REY-şın ]
"Cinnamon" [Doğrusu: -nımın ]

Things that are very difficult to say when you've had just one more for the road:

"Specificity" [Doğrusu: spesi--siti ]
"British Constitution" [Doğrusu: BRİ-tişkınsti-ÇYU-şın ]
"Passive-aggressive disorder" [Doğrusu: -sivıg-RE-sivdis-O:-dı ]
"Loquacious Transubstantiate" [Doğrusu: LO-ku-EY-şıs-TÇRÆNS-ıbs-TEN-şi-EYT ]

Things that are downright impossible to say when you're as drunk as a lord:

Thanks, but I don't want to have sex...

Teşekkür ederim, seks yapmak istemiyorum... (Yok yav?)


Nope, no more booze for me...

Hayır, benim için bu kadar içmek yeterli...

 (Hadi canım!)


Sorry, but you're not really my type...

Üzgünüm ama tipim değilsiniz...


(Eh, nede olsa herkesin tipi kaymış durumda.)

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Let's Face It: English is a Crazy Language...