SAYING NICE THINGS BEHIND
PEOPLE'S BACK !!
İnsanların Arkalarından Söylenecek Övücü Sözler !!
Kinds
words (= a sweet tongue) would even exhort a snake to come out of its
hole. -- Turkish Proverb
I
can't say he's the sharpest knife in the drawer!
"Çekmecedeki en
keskin bıçak olduğunu söyleyemem!" =
He's quite dull... Donuk zekalı...
She
must've got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
gene
pool /Cİ:N-PU:L/ = gen(ler) havuzu; insanlığın toplam genleri...
"Gen-havuzumuza
korumaları atlatıp girmiş olsa gerek!" = He's a freak... Hilkat
garibesidir...
He
has a room-temperature IQ.
=
Oda ısısında zekası var...
Oh,
she's a gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
gross = 1. çok
kaba, çok büyük; 2. düzine çarpı düzine (12X12) = 144...
ignoramus /ignı-RA:-mıs/
=
cahil, cahil kişi...
"Cahil cühelanın daniskasıdır: Sıradan bir cahilden düzine çarpı düzine
daha cahildir."
Yes,
he has a photographic memory -- but with the lens cover glued on.
glue = zamk, tutkal...
"Fotoğrafik bir belleği var, ama mercek kapağı tutkallanmış açılmıyor!"
She
is definitely a prime candidate for natural de-selection.
" Doğal ayıklanma için
kesinlikle önde gelen bir aday!"
He
is as bright as Alaska in December.
" Aralık ayında Alaska kadar parlak!"
Even
one-celled organisms would outscore her in IQ tests.
"Zeka testlerinde tek-hücreli organizmalar bile ondan daha yüksek
puan alır!" [Herhangi bir fiilin başına getirilen "out"
önekinin işlevi için şu örneklere bakınız:
to outnumber = sayıca
üstün olmak... to outclass
= sürklase etmek... to outlive
= diğeri veya diğerlerinden daha uzun yaşamak...
to outshine = gölgede
bırakmak (= parlaklıktan yana geride bırakmak)
Bir örnek cümle: "The enemy outnumbered us two to one." = Düşman sayıca
iki katımızdı... Bir örnek cümle daha: "She was outlived by her
husband." = Kocası kendisinden uzun yaşadı. Şimdi açık konuşayım: Bu
verdiğim örnek cümlelere hala akıl erdiremiyorsanız, korkarım fırına
daha epice talim edeceksiniz...
He must've fallen out of the family tree.
"Aile
ağacından yuvarlanıp düşmüş olsa gerek!"
She
has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
"Çift
beyni var: Birisi kayıp, öteki de onu aramaya çıkmış!"
If
brains were taxed
this fellow would get a rebate.
"Eğer beyinlerden
vergi alınsa, bu lavuk vergi iadesi alır!"
["lavuk... eleman...
kanka... cıvır... kevaşe" gibi önemli sözcükleri bilmiyorsanız; benim
gibi yapınız: LOMBAK Dergisini muntazam okuyarak
çağdaş Türkçe'deki gelişmelerden yoksun kalmayınız. Ciddiyim!]
If
you give her
a penny for her thoughts, don't forget to get your change.
"Kafasındakileri
satın almak için 1 kuruş öderseniz, paranızın üstünü almayı unutmayın!"
People
normally
drink from the fountain of knowledge; this fellow only gargled.
fountain of knowledge =
bilgi çeşmesi... "İnsanlar normalde bilgi çeşmesinden içerler; bu
adam sadece gargara yapmış!"
Modified
from several sources on the Net...
*
* * * *
HOW TO
EVALUATE THAT PRIZE EMPLOYEE ?!
Let
the British Royal Navy show you how!
The
British Military writes OFR's (Officer Fitness Reports). The form used for
the Royal Navy and Marine's fitness reports is the S206. The following are
actual excerpts taken from
people's "206's":
He
has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age.
This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
Since my last report he has reached rock bottom and has started to
dig.
The only ship I would recommend for this man is citizenship.
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
I would not breed from this Officer.
This Officer is not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely
won't-be.
Technically sound, but socially impossible.
This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning
around at a frantic pace but not really going anywhere.
When she joined my ship this Officer was something of a granny.
Since then she has aged considerably.
This Medical
Officer has used my ship to carry his genitals from port to port, and
my officers to carry him from bar to bar.
She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them.
This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.
This young lady
has delusions of adequacy.
Works well under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a
trap.
Only occasionally wets himself under pressure.
* *
* * *
IS HELL
EXOTHERMIC OR ENDOTHERMIC ??
Açıklama:
exothermic = gives off heat and endothermic = absorbs heat
The following
is an actual question given on University of Washington chemistry
mid-term: Is Hell exothermic or endothermic?
Most of the
students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (i.e. gas cools
off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.
expand =
genişlemek... be compressed = sıkışmak...
One student, however, wrote
the following:
First, we need to know how
the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that
souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.
I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no
souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. All religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than
one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates
as they are we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.
increase exponentially =
geometric olarak artmak...
Now,
we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
proportionately = oransal
olarak...
This gives two
possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a
slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature
and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
until all Hell breaks
loose = (sözcük oyunu) Cehennem zıvanadan çıkacak, altüst olacak...
2. Of course, if Hell is
expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept
the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my freshman year,
postulate = postülat,
temel kabul... my freshman year = üniversitedeki ilk yılım...
"...that it will be a
cold day in Hell before I sleep with you."
"Çıkmaz ayın Çarşambasında
yatarım ancak seninle!!"
And take into account the
fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her,
then, #2 cannot be true, and
thus I am sure that Hell is not
exothermic
and will not freeze.
The
student received the only "A"
MORE
DEFINITIONS
Cigarette: A
pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on
the other.
a
pinch of tobacco = "bi çimdik" tütün...
Divorce: Future
tense of marriage.
Lecture: An art
of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes
of the students without passing through "the minds of either".
lecture
= 1. konferans; 2. üniversitede ders... (İngilizce'de
"conference" sözcüğü ile bizim kongre dediğimiz etkinliğin
anlatıldığını unutmayınız. to confer together = birbirine danışarak
konuyu tartışmak... without passing ...etc. = zihinsel olarak gerek
hoca gerekse öğrencileri by-pass yaparak...
Conference: The
confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
yukardaki
notuma bknz. multiplied by the number present = hazır bulunanların sayısı
ile çarpılarak, hazır bulunanların sayısı katında...
Conference
Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody
disagrees later on.
Compromise: The
art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the
biggest piece.
compromise =
uzlaşma, yarı yolda buluşma...
Tears: The
hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine
water power...
tears = gözyaşları...
will-power = irade gücü...
Dictionary: A
place where success comes before work.
Anlamı: Gerçek
yaşamda başarı çalışmanın ürünüdür...
Classic: A book
which people praise, but do not read.
to praise = övmek,
övgü düzmek...
Smile: A curve that
can set a lot of things straight.
curve = eğri (geometrik
çizgi, anlamında)... straight line = doğru çizgi, doğru hat (geometrik
anlamda, mecazi değil)... to set things straight = sorunları çözmek;
herbirşeyleri doğru yoluna koymak...
Office: A place
where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yorucu ev hayatından
sonra dinlendiğiniz yer... [st-ren-yuıs] = Çok yorucu: to strain
= zorlamak, yavaş yavaş gücünü tüketmek, kavramından...
Yawn: The only time
some married men ever get to open their mouth.
(to) yawn = [yown]
esneme, esnemek (ad, eylem)... Bazı evli erkeklerin ağızlarını açma
fırsatı buldukları tek zaman...
Etc.: A sign to
make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
to make others
...etc = bildiğinizden fazlasını bildiğinize başkalarını inandırmak
için...
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing
can be done together.
individually =
bireysel olarak...
Experience: The
name men give to their mistakes.
(Metnin gelişine
göre yorumlanabilir:) "İnsanların" veya "erkeklerin"
hatalarına verdikleri ad...
Philosopher: A fool
who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Filozof: Ölünce
kendisinden söz edilsin diye, yaşamı boyunca kendi kendine azap çektiren
budala... to torture = fiziki olarak işkence etmek... "to
torment" sözcüğünde ise azap çektirmek, eziyet etmek kavramı
vardır.
Diplomat: A person
who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward
to the trip.
Go to hell = 1.
Defol git... 2. Cehenneme gidesin; cehennem ol...
Doctor: A person
who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
hap ve
drajeleriyle hastalığınızı, faturaları ile de sizi öldüren kimse...
bills = (burada) vizite, tedavi, vb gibi ücretlerin tümü kastediliyor...
Opportunist: A
person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
accidentally =
kazaen, istemiyerek... [æksi-den-tıli]
Optimist: A person
who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not
injured yet."
in midway = yarı
yolda... See = Gördünüz mü? Bak!
Miser: A person who
lives poor so that he can die rich.
miser = cimri
(ad -- may-zı)... miserly (sıfat -- may-zıli)... so that
= fakir yaşar ki zengin ölsün diye... zengin ölebilmek için fakir yaşar...
Father: A banker
provided by nature.
Doğa tarafından
temin edilen bir banker...
Criminal: A guy no
different from the rest... except that he got caught.
Tam zülfüyare
dokunacak bir söz: Başkalarından farkı olamayan bir kimse: Yakayı ele
vermiş olması dışında...
Boss: Someone who
is early when you are late and late when you are early.
to be early X to
be late = erken gelmek X geç kalmak...
Politician: One who
shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Seçimlerden önce
elinizi sıkar; seçimlerden sonra güveninizi sarsar... To shake hands
with smb = tokalaşmak... to shake smb's confidence = güvenini sarsmak...
Atom Bomb: An
invention to end all inventions.
Bütün icatlara
son verecek icat!... Bu şekildeki mastar (infinitive) kullanımlarını,
tümcenin gelişine göre, -ecek ekiyle, veya -mak için
şeklindeki amaç anlatımıyla çevirebilirsiniz.
* *
* * *
CHINESE
PROVERBS
[I
will not deflower the fun by offering prickly translations. For --
Virginity like bubble, one
prick, all gone.
You can always send me a message of distress if you get stuck for a
particular word or expression... izbul]
Man who run in front of car get
tired.
Man who run behind car get
exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel
cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand
piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport
turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man who scratch ass should not
bite fingernails.
Man with one chopstick go
hungry.
Baseball is wrong: man with four
balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on
earth but next to best thing on earth.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
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* * * *
ANASAYFA
TESTLER OKUMA
EĞLENCE
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