Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road ?
Piliç Neden Karşıdan Karşıya Geçti?
Felsefî, Sanatsal, Siyasî Nedenler
Her Bakımdan "Advanced" !!
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Entellektüel yönü güçlü okurlarımız için çeşitli İnternet kaynaklarından [özellikle http://eserver.org/philosophy/ ] derlediğim buradaki harika mizah metnine sıkıcı açıklamalar eklemekten kaçındım. Okuma zevkinize limon sıkmak istemedim. Yabancı dili henüz bu düzeyde olmayan okurlarımıza yönelik bir teşvik olarak da değerlendirilmesini rica ederim. Ayrıca, Türkçe internet sayfalarında araştırma yaparak dilimize çeşitli çevirilerini bulabilirsiniz. Anahtar sözcükleriniz: "Tavuk neden (karşıdan) karşıya geçti?" "Civciv neden (karşıdan) karşıya geçti?" vb. Yani, dikkatler tavuklar ve civcivler üstüne yoğunlaşmış. Efendim, bendeniz
ise daha çok,
özel uzmanlık alanım olan "piliçler" üstüne odaklanmayı tercih
ettim.
Bazı tahrifat ve eklemelere tevessül etmiş olduğumu da itiraf ederim. Kısacası, buradaki metin yer yer bayağı bir özgündür. Yalçın İzbul, http://www.ingilizce-ders.com |
Yes, the question is,
"Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road ?"Evet, sorumuz şöyle, "Piliç Neden Karşıdan Karşıya Geçti?"
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Aristotle: To experience a catharsis of her hitherto-unanswered feelings of anguish and fear and have her destiny actualized. Plato: In the name of the general good of the body politick. Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink, caramel-consistency sticky and viscous stuff in her pancreas. Epicurus: In search of even greater katastematic pleasures of her stomach. Pyrrho the Skeptic: The road? What road? |
Zeno of Elea: Just to prove she could never reach the other side.
The Sphinx: Why are you asking me? I am the one who is supposed to be asking the questions here.
King Solomon: She was sick and tired of being an unnoticed one among 300 concubines.
[Yalçın İzbul, http://www.ingilizce-ders.com ]
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Julius Caesar: Visi, vici, veni. To see, to copulate, to come.
Machiavelli: So that her retinue will view her with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear for she whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue. In such a manner is the princessly chicken's dominion maintained.
David Hume: Out of custom and habit, no doubt about it.
Adam Smith: In the hope of greater division of labour and exponential growth of total egg production.
Yalçın İzbul: "Piliç Neden Karşıdan Karşıya Geçti?"
Felsefî, Sanatsal, Siyasî Nedenler http://www.ingilizce-ders.com
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Sigmund Freud: Obviously she had interpreted the crosswalk sign pole she had seen on the other side as a phallic symbol of which she was envious.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded her sensorium from birth had caused her to develop in such a fashion that she would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of her own free will.
Geoffrey Chaucer: Because the sweet showers of April had already started to fall on the other side.
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Othello: She did it out of jealousy. Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er. Hamlet: That's nowhere near the quintessential question, which is, is it better to suffer in the mind the slings and arrows of outrageous road maintenance than to take arms against a sea of on coming vehicles? Cleopatra: Because she had immortal longings in her to become a quadruple-turn'd whore. King Richard III: A cock, a cock! My kingdom for a cock! |
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it. Werther the young sorrowful rookie was waiting on the other side.
Voltaire: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death her right to do it.
John Donne: She crosseth for thee.
Alexander Pope: She needed a rhyming chicken to form a heroic couplet.
Jonathan Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.
Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.
Edward Gibbon: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.
William Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud and to remember in tranquillity.
John Keats: The word had got around that there the urns contained quality Grecian corn. [Yalçın İzbul, http://www.ingilizce-ders.com ]
Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.
Emily Dickinson: Because she could not stop for death.
Herman Melville: She had fallen under the spell of Moby the Rooster's enourmous dick.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: She did not cross the road; she transcended it.
Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
Walt Whitman: To celebrate and advertise herself, hoping that we shall consume what we consume, for every atom belonging to her in fact belongs to us.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain. Alone, insecure, pecked, but not licked.
Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a chicken.
Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.
Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Werner Heisenberg: The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your course. We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence. [Yalçın İzbul, http://www.ingilizce-ders.com ]
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!
Boris Karloff: If you saw me coming you'd immediately cross the road too!
Joseph Stalin: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
Martin Luther King, Jr. : I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Yalçın İzbul: "Piliç Neden Karşıdan Karşıya Geçti?"
Felsefî, Sanatsal, Siyasî Nedenler http://www.ingilizce-ders.com
Joan Baez: How many roads must a chicken cross?
John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads together in
peace.
The Beatles: Why did the chicken cross the Abbey Road? To get back to
where she once belonged.
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Neil Armstrong: One small step for chickenkind, one giant leap for
poultry.
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the
Establishment would let her take. Jack Nicholson: 'Cause she (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason. |
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Modified from several Internet "public domain" sites:
Yalçın İzbul
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