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CLEAN JOKES OF THE WEEK
JOB INTERVIEW
Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person
asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was
looking for.
"In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits
package."
"Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid
holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund
to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years...say, a
red Corvette?"
"Wow! Are you kidding?"
"Yeah, but you started it."
human resources =
insan kaynakları...
person
=
Burada, tıpkı "chairman" yerine "chairperson" denildiği gibi, cinsiyet
ayrımı gözetmemek için "man, woman" yerine...
MIT /em-ay-ti:/
=
Massachusetts
Institute of Technology -- ABD'nin ünlü eğitim kurumlarından...
neighbourhood
=
(burada) dolaylarında...
benefits package
=
Aylık ücrete ek olarak sunulan sigorta, emeklilik, izin, tatil gibi
çalışanın lehine eklentiler...
to match
=
Burada "karşılamak" anlamında (Şirket, emeklilik fonunun %50'ye kadar olan
bölümünü karşılamak üzere)...
Are you kidding?
=
Şaka mı ediyorsun?...
Yeah, but you
started it!
=
Doğru, ama bunu sen başlattın!!
Tipik bir "benefits package" için en alta bknz...
LONG
SPEECH
A man is giving a speech at a meeting.
He gets a bit carried away and talks for two hours.
Finally, he realizes what he is doing
and says; "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."
A voice from the back of the room says,
"Yeah, but there's a calendar behind you."
a bit =
a little (tabii, burada mecazi olarak "bir hayli"
anlamında -- Aşağıdaki "Haftanın Dil Sorusuna bknz.)...
to get carried away =
coşmak, kendinden geçmek, mestolmak, ölçüyü kaçırmak,
abartmak...
LANGUAGE TIPS
Püf Noktaları
"We have
little sugar." ---
"We have a little sugar."
"I have
few friends." --- "I
have a few friends."
Haftanın sorusu: Hangi tümcede
şeker miktarı ve arkadaş sayısı diğerine göre daha az sayıda vera
miktardadır? Daha kıttır??
THE ANSWER IS DOWN BELOW THE
PAGE
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NAUGHTY JOKE OF THE
WEEK
MISFORTUNE NEVER COMES SINGLY
It's Saturday morning and John's just about to set off on a round
of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the
guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So
John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
"Hello?" says a little girl's voice.
"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," says John. "Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Fred."
After a brief pause, John says, "But you haven't got an Uncle
Fred, honey!"
"Yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"
"Okay, then. Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run
upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and
Uncle Fred that my car's just pulled up outside the house."
to pull up
=
Motorlu taşıtlar için,
"frene basıp durmak"... Sanırım, eskiden at arabalarında, hayvanın
dizginlerine asılıp durdurmak" kavramından gelmiş olsa gerek...
"Okay, Daddy!" A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.
"Well, I did what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed and ran around screaming, then she tripped
over the rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."
trip over the rug
=
kilime ayağı takılıp
düşmek...
"Oh, my God! What about Uncle Fred?"
"He jumped out of bed too, and he was all scared, and he jumped out the back
window into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you
took out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming
pool and now he's dead too."
There is a long pause.
"Swimming pool? Is this 555-3097?"
"Yüzme havuzu mu dedin?
Orası 555-3097 değil mi?
Bir "benefits package" içinde anılanlara örnekler:
retirement system, health insurance, life insurance, disability benefits,
holidays, bereavement leave (yakın akraba ölümlerinde)...
İleri ülkeler, çalışanlara köle muamelesi yaparlar:
"Holidays" başlığı altında azami yılda on gün tatil ya vardır ya yoktur.
Oysa bize gelince, sağolsun şimdiki Hükûmet de, "az maaş -- çok tatil"
ilkesini öncekilerden aynen tevarüs etmişe benziyor...
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