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CLEAN JOKES OF
THE WEEK
FUNERAL COOKIES
funeral
/ fyu-nırıl / = cenaze töreni...
There
was an elderly man at home, upstairs, dying in bed.
He smelled the aroma of his
favorite chocolate cookies baking.
He wanted one last cookie before he died. He fell out of bed,
crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs and crawled into the
kitchen where his wife was busily baking cookies.
elderly
= İnsanları "old" sözcüğüyle niteleyerek üzmemek için, onun yerine
kullandığımız daha yumuşak anlatım...
aroma = koku, rayiha
(insanlar için kullanılmaz)...
baking = pişmekte
olan (to bake / beyk /= fırında pişirmek; "to bake bread, to bake a
cake"... bakery / bey
-
kıri /= ekmekçi fırını...
one last
cookie
= son bir kurabiye... to
crawl = sürünerek ilerlemek, sürünmek (ama bizim milletin
"süründüğü" anlamda değil!)...
rolled down = tambır
tumbur yuvarlandı (burada mecazi)...
With his last remaining strength he crawled to the table and was
just barely able to lift his withered arm to the cookie plate. As he
grasped a warm, moist chocolate cookie, his favorite kind, his
wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula.
with his last
remaining strength
= son kalan gücüyle...
barely = girdiği tümceye "ucu ucuna" anlamı kazandıran bir
işlev sözcüğü... to wither
= sararıp solmak (burada mecazi: erimiş, bir deri bir kemik
kalmış)... to grasp =
eliyle yakalamak, sımsıkı kavramak (ayrıca "zihinsel olarak kavrama,
anlama" anlamına da kullanılır)...
moist = nemli (burada
"daha buharı tütmekte olan)...
to whack = Bu sözcüğü
öğrenmeseniz de olur, sanırım. Ama, öyküye cuk oturduğu için
değiştirmiyorum. Burada spatula ile olduğu gibi "pat diye vurmak"...
Gasping for breath, he asked her, "Why did you do that?"
"Those are for the funeral."
gasp for breath =
soluksuz kalmış, soluk almağa çalışıyor...
JOGGERS OR
JOKERS
to jog
= "sağlıklı yaşam" koşusu yapmak... Bizim parkurda her sabah yeni
yüzler görüyorum: En heveslisi bir hafta kadar dayanıyor...
A man
had been driving all night and by morning was still far from his
destination. He decided to stop at the next city he came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour or two of sleep.
As
luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to be on
one of the city's major jogging routes. No sooner had he
settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on his
window. He looked out:
"Yes?"
It was one of the joggers.
"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?" The man
looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15". The jogger said thanks
and left.
by morning = sabaha
varıldığında (zaman bildiren anlatımlarda "by" = "önce"...
destination
= yolculuktaki hedef, son durak, gidilecek yer... "destiny" =
"kader" sözcüğü ile
aynı kökten... park
somewherre quiet = arabasını sessiz sakin bir yere park
etmek...
As luck would have
it = Şansa bakınız ki, rastlantı bu ya...
no sooner ....... when
....... = "--ır -----ırmaz = biraz kestirmek için daha
arkasına yerleşmemişti ki birisi arabanın camını vurdu...
to snooze
= şekerleme yapmak, uyuklamak...
The man settled back again,
and was just dozing off when there was another knock on the window
and another jogger.
"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"
"8:25!"
Do you have
the time?
= Saati söyleyebilir misiniz?...
doze off
= uyuklamak, uykuya dalmak...
The jogger said thanks and left. Now the man could see other joggers
passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time before another
one disturbed him.
To avoid the problem, he got out a pen and paper
and put a sign in his window saying, "I do not know the time!" Once
again he settled back to sleep. He was just dozing off when there
was another knock on the window.
"Sir, sir? It's 8:45!"
pass by
= yanından geçmek... to be
only a matter of time before ----- = çok geçmeden aynı şeyin
yine olacağı kesin...
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NAUGHTY
JOKES OF THE WEEK
THE ENLIGHTENMENT
Aydınlanma, Aydınlanma Çağı...
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time
they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she
would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were
in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the
lights.
ridiculous = rezalet ve
maskaralık derecesinde saçma ve gülünç...
figured = thought,
rationalized... break out of a habit
= bir huydan vazgeçmek / vazgeçirmek...
session = burada mecazi...
She
looked down and saw her husband was holding a pink pleasure device... a
dildo! Soft, wonderful and larger than a "real one."
device
/di-vays /= alet, cihaz, düzenek...
dildo = Bilenler bilmeyenlere
söylesin. Ayrıca, bu yaşa kadar öğrenmediyseniz, bundan sonra öğrenmeseniz de
olur. (Yada, tam tersi mi acaba?!)...
She went completely berserk. "You impotent bastard," she screamed at
him,
"how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain
yourself!"
to go berserk
/
bö-sek / = zıvanadan çıkmak, öfkeden delirmek, sağa sola
saldırmak... You impotent bastard!
= Seni iktidarsız piç!... to scream
= shout, yell... be lying = yalan
söylüyor olmak...
You better = You'd better (had
better)...
The husband looks her straight in the eye and says calmly:
"I'll explain the toy -- if you explain the kids.
to look somebody straight
in the eye
(veya, eyes) = dosdoğru gözlerinin içine bakarak...
calmly = sakin bir şekilde...
BREASTSTROKE
COMPETITION
breaststroke
= Kurbağalama yüzüş... Ama, bir de iki sözcüğü ayırıp okuyun,
bakalım ne anlama geliyor !!
There was a competition to cross the English Channel doing only the
breaststroke. Just three women entered the race: a brunette, a redhead, and
a blonde.
competition
= 1. yarışma; 2. rekabet...
the English Channel = Manş Denizi (
/ çæ-nıl
/ okuyunuz)...
After approximately 14 hours the brunette staggered up on the shore and was
declared the fastest breaststroker.
to stagger
= 1. sendeleyerek yürümek; 2. "efelenerek" yürümek...
staggered up on the shore
= sendeleye sendeleye kıyıya çıktı...
About 40 minutes later the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared
to be the second place finisher.
crawl
= karşı sütunda açıklandığı anlamda "sürünerek"... Gerçi to crawl"
bir yüzme stili olarak "kulaç atmak, kulaçla yüzmek" anlamına
gelirse de, burada o anlamda değil...
Nearly 48 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly
collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
to come ashore
= kıyıya gelmek (aboard, aside, asleep, vb gibi)...
promptly
= hemen, derhal...
to collapse
= yere yığılmak, olduğu yere yıkılmak, çökmek...
worried = endişeli...
onlookers =
seyirciler, orada bulunup olayı izleyenler...
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she
replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two
other girls were using their arms."
reporters
= basın muhabirleri... I
don't want to sound like ----- = Kimse beni öyle algılamasın,
ama ----- ... sore loser
= mızıkçı, oyunbozan, yenilgiyi kabullenemeyen...
A PAPAL RIDDLE --
Papa'ya İlişkin Bir
Muamma
(Bulmaca)
the Pope / poup / =
Papa... papal / pey-pıl
/ = Papa'ya veya Papalık'a ilişkin...
Q.
Does the Pope eat meat ?
A.
Yes.
Q.
What kind of meat does the pope eat?
A. None
!!
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