Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul


YAHOO Uluslararası İngilizce Öğretim Grupları DÜNYA BİRİNCİSİ !!

October 22nd, 2003

Supplement # 058






While in Rome,

do as the Romans do...


Dearest Members,

Having lived through a life as tempestuous (fırtınalı) as I could make it, I have now come to believe that indeed "We are such stuff as dreams are made on and our little life is rounded with a sleep..." And thereby hangs my tale today...


[ "And thereby hangs a tale..." This well-known expression comes from As You Like It, by William Shakespeare. It means roughly “There’s in fact a real and interesting story behind this.” You can use it as a linking sentence when you are going to talk about the background of an interesting object, incident, or idea: “The old man said, ‘See that tatty-looking pocket watch in the box? It saved my life during the war, and thereby hangs a tale.’” ]




Last night I dreamt I was in New York. Following a comfortable flight, during which we had enjoyed the extraordinary sight of endless cloud plains that stretched before our eyes, the plane had landed at Kennedy Airport in the late afternoon. I had taken a cab straight to the Waldorf-Astoria...

Here I was at the reception area now, and had the following conversation with the friendly beauty at the reception desk:

RECEPTIONIST: Good evening, sir. Can I help you?

İZBUL: Yes, please. I'd like a DOUBLE room for the night. You do have some vacancies?

RECEPTIONIST:  Do you have a reservation, sir?

İZBUL: I'm afraid not.

RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry, but we're fully booked.

İZBUL: But my dear friend MADONNA called me only yesterday to say she'd meet me here. She said I should have no problem getting a room at this time of year.

RECEPTIONIST: You're a friend of MADONNA's?!

İZBUL: Why, yes. We're long time friends, actually...

RECEPTIONIST: In that case, if you would just sign here, please, sir...

İZBUL: Can I pay by credit card?

RECEPTIONIST: Certainly. We take Visa, Master Card and American Express. Could you fill in this form, please?

İZBUL: Do you need my passport number?

RECEPTIONIST: No, just your address and your signature will do.

İZBUL: (After I filled out the form) Here you are.

RECEPTIONIST: Thank you. If you need anything, dial "0" for the reception area. Have a good stay!


The next evening, Madonna arrived from Hollywood. She and myself met for an evening meal at some posh restaurant downtown...

MADONNA: I want a table for two, please.

HEAD WAITER: Yes, ma'am. Right this way, please... There is a nice view of the city from this table.

MADONNA: Splendid! Now, what shall we have for dinner this evening What do you have today?

WAITER: Here's the menu... May I take your order?

MADONNA: I'd like a fruit cup, lobster with string beans, and French fried potatoes.

İZBUL: I'll have a bowl of tomato soup and a nice steak with carrots and a baked potato.

WAITER: How would you like your steak?

İZBUL: Rare, please. Very rare...

MADONNA: How about a green salad for each of us?

İZBUL: That's fine.

WAITER: What would you like to drink?

MADONNA: Let's have some wine with the meal.

İZBUL: Yes, let's.

MADONNA: Château d’Yquem 1995?

İZBUL: Just Papaz Karasi will do fine for me, thanks.

WAITER: What would you like for dessert?

İZBUL: I'd like a ton of apple brown betty with rum whipped cream. (Wow!!)

MADONNA: I'll have assorted TURKISH DELIGHT -- rose, pistachio, hazelnut, cream and cucumber flavoured. (Wow!!)

WAITER: Certainly.

(While eating)

İZBUL: This steak is really superb!

MADONNA: I'm glad you like it. My lobster tastes great, too.

İZBUL: Will you please pass me the salt?

MADONNA: All right. Do you want the pepper, too?

İZBUL: No, thank you.

(After dinner)

İZBUL: That was a nice dinner.

MADONNA: It certainly was. (She then called out to the waiter) Waiter, please let me have the check. (In Britain, you'd say: "May I have the bill, please?")

WAITER: Here you are, ma’am.


Now, it was time for drinks...

MADONNA: Where shall we go tonight, Yalçın? (She pronounced my name as melodiously as a love bird would sing.)

İZBUL: Do you remember the place we went to the last time? What a great time we had that night. Let's go there again.

MADONNA: Okay. Let's go there. But there's one condition. You're my guest tonight.

İZBUL: Oh, no. Let's split the bill.

MADONNA: No, no. I insist.

İZBUL: Well, if you insist....


(Inside the bar)

MADONNA: Well, I'll have a manhattan. What will you have, Yalçın?

İZBUL: Me? Scotch on the rocks. And a COLA TURKA to go with it...

(later on...)

MADONNA: Would you like another drink?

İZBUL: Well, I'd like to try a Manhattan.

MADONNA: Waiter... Uh, excuse me, would you please give us two Manhattans.

(After drinking)

MADONNA: How about another one?

İZBUL: No, thank you. I've had enough.

MADONNA: This is just right for me, too. We have a long night before us... Shall we go, then?

İZBUL: Yes, Thank you very much for your treat tonight.

MADONNA: Don't mention it. It was really nice to have your company.


The next morning, WE checked out of The Waldorf-Astoria, and took an early flight to Hollywood, where I would be the guest of honour at a dinner party for close family friends. Here is a picture of me as the "gentleman of honour" at the table:

And here is a summary diagrammatic view of the table they laid for us:

  1. butter plate and knife

2. dessert spoon

3. glass

4. salad plate

5. napkin

6. main course fork

7. salad fork

8. main plate

9. main course knife

10. soup spoon

11. cup, saucer, teaspoon



We are such stuff as dreams are made on

and our little life is rounded with a sleep...

William Shakespeare, The Tempest (Fırtına), spoken by Prospero, the cranky old magician, the rightful Duke of Milan...