Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul

Hacettepe Üniversitesi eski öğr. üyesi

PRACTICAL ENGLISH FOR TURKS

A Bilingual Electronic Newsletter

Distributed Bi-Weekly

01/10/02 - 0009

      Dear Members, in case of emergency, you dial 999 in Britain and 911 in the States. Why the difference? I dunno. Maybe they do not want foreigners to reach emergency services...  In language, Britons keep deriding Americanisms; and the Americans keep calling everything decent they hear, "That's Brit", or even worse, "That' must be Scotch"!... George Bernard Shaw is known to have observed, "The United States and Britain are separated by a common language"... Well, Hell's Bells And Buckets Of Blood!!! As if one of them weren't difficult enough to learn by itself, we have to learn them [sic] two different languages!... 

     Değerli Üyeler, işte yukardaki nedenlerle, bu sayıdan başlayarak, İngiliz ve Amerikan ingilizceleri arasındaki farklılıkları önplana çıkaran bir dizi başlatıyorum. Ayrıca, "slang" bölümünde bundan böyle UK ve USA argo kullanımlarına dönüşümlü olarak yer vereceğim. Böylece bendeniz de, bir sayımızda kendimi evimde hissederken, bir sonrakinde diken üzerinde oturuyor gibi olacağım... Bu arada, siz siz olun, (Devamı az aşağıda)...  İzbul

 

PEOPLE AND EVENTS
TWO NEW BOOKLETS BY THE MINISTRY OF ENVIRONMENT

Environmental issues in daily life are brought under sharp focus in two new booklets prepared and published by the Ministry of Environment. A common theme informing the series is the idea that through implementing a basic set of measures in daily life, it is possible for everyone to make a significant economic contribution on both familial and national levels.

booklet = kitapçık... environmental issues = çevre sorunları, çevre meseleleri... in daily life = günlük yaşamda... to be brought under sharp focus = yakından inceleniyor; ışık odağı altına alınıyor... a common theme = ortak bir tema... the series = (burada) seri kitapçık... to implement = yürürlüğe koymak, yürürlük kazandırmak, hayata geçirmek... a basic set = temel bir dizi... measure = 1. ölçüm; 2. (burada olduğu gibi) önlem... significant = önemli, anlamlı derecede... contribution= katkı... familial = aileye ilişkin, ailesel, ailevi...

Here are some of the suggestions relating to the use of water supplies at home, some of them directed at prevention of general water pollution:

suggestions = öneriler... relating to =...ile ilgili, ilişkin... prevention = önlenmesi, engellenmesi

"Never neglect to fix broken taps. Water dripping from defective taps causes a great loss of water."

to neglect = ihmal etmek (mastar veya gerund alabilir)... to fix = to repair = to mend = onarmak, tamir etmek... dripping =damlayan... To drip = damlamak... drop = damla... teardrops = gözyaşı damlaları... tap = (burada) musluk...

"You do not have to leave the tap on all along when you are brushing your teeth or having a shave. By doing so, you will economize up to two litres of water. From an open tap, 15-20 litres of water flows an hour..."

leave the tap on = musluğu açık bırakmak... all along (burada) bütün bu iş boyunca...  to economize = tasarruf etmek... up to two litres = iki litreye ulaşan ölçülerde... to flow = akmak...

"Always opt for proper car wash facilities or if you must do it yourself use a bucket. When you wash your car using a hose, you use up to 550 litres of water.

to opt for = tercih etmek... option = tercih, seçenek, opsiyon... facilities = tesis, tesisler... bucket = kova... Çok hoş bir deyim var: He kicked the bucket = Mortu çekti, cavlağı çekti... hose = hortum...

"Make a point of using soap powder for your laundry, rather than detergents which contain phosphate."

make a point of = özel dikkat göstermek, huy haline getirmek... soap powder = sabun tozu... laundry = çamaşır, çamaşırhane...

For noise pollution prevention the booklets offer:

"Do not presume that others will want to know what you are watching on the television or listening to on your radio!"

to presume = varsaymak, kendi kendine gelin güvey olmak... others = başkaları...

"Sound proof salons should be preferred for weddings and other special occasions."

sound proof = ses geçirmez... special occasions = özel günler... occasion = vesile, özel ve önemli, hatırlanmaya değer olay veya gün...

"Car horns should not be used unnecessarily; faulty exhaust silencers should be fixed no sooner than they develop."

horn = 1. korna; ayrıca, 2. boynuz...

 

THE "ONE-TO-ONE" PEG ERA DRAWS TO A CLOSE IN ARGENTINA

"one-to-one" = Arjantin'in yıllardır uyguladıktan sonra şimdi yürürlükten kaldırdığı 1 pezo = 1 dolar (valla kelime oyunu yapmıyorum) sabit kur politikasına verilen ad... peg = (burada) çıpa... (asıl anlamı, askı olarak kullanılan ahşap vida veya çivi)... era (i:-ra) =dönem, çağ... to draw to an end = sona yaklaşmak, bitmek, sona ermek... 

In the wake of the nearly 30% devaluation of the peso in Argentina, there have been remarkably few reports of price hikes, as many merchants admitted that they could not increase the prices even if they wanted to. Years of recession seem to have left Argentines drastically short for cash and in no mood for spending money on anything but essentials.

in the wake of = ardından, akabinde... remarkably = dikkate değer ölçüde... price hikes = fiat zamları... merchant = tüccar (burada daha genel anlamda hertürlü  alım satım işiyle uğraşan esnaf kastediliyor)... recession (ri-se-şın) = to recede (ri-si:d, gerilemek, geriye gitmek) fiil kökünden türemiş olan bu sözcük, ekonomide ise "durgunluk" anlamında kullanılıyor... Argentines = Arjantinliler... drastically (dræs-tikli)= kökten, ağır biçimde, şiddetli derecede... short for (of) cash = parası yetmiyor, parası yok... in no mood for = havasında değil, isteksiz... anything but essentials = temel gereksinimler dışında hiçbirşey

Nonetheless, many Argentines felt dejected as they prepared for the end of 10 years of relatively stable prices. Memories are still fresh on many minds of the kind of runaway inflation and price hikes which had followed the 1989 devaluation of their previous currency, the austral.

nonetheless = yine de... dejected = üzüntülü, kendini kolu kanadı kırılmış hissediyor... relatively = nisbeten, oldukça, epeyce... stable = istikrarlı... runaway = alıp başını giden...

Tensions remained high amid uncertainty about the inevitable erosion of purchasing power. No one could tell how long their bank deposits, frozen by a government decree last month, were likely to remain out of bounds.

remain high = yüksek olmakta devam etmek... inevitable erosion = kaçınılmaz aşınma... purchasing power = satınalma gücü... government decree = hükumet kararnamesi... out of bounds = ulaşılamaz...

To quell the worries of foreign investors and citizens alike, the Economy Minister Lenicov broke the news last Sunday that "one-to-one" era, as the dollar-peso exchange rate was known, is now past history. As he announced the abandonment of the ten-year-old currency peg, he added bluntly: "We are devaluing, we are in collapse, Argentina is bankrupt." A sorry epitaph for South America's second-biggest economy and the once-darling of emerging markets...

quell = yatıştırmak... foreign investors and citizens alike = gerek yabancı yatırımcılar gerekse yurttaşlar... bluntly = sözünü esirgemeksizin... bankrupt = iflas etmiş... epitaph = mezar taşına yazılan kitabe ve bu tazrda yazılmış mısralar... once-darling = bir zamanlar sevgilisi... emerging markets = gelişmekte olan pazar ve piyasalar...

LIQUID VİAGRA !!

Investment Press Release:

Pfizer Corporation is making the announcement today that VIAGRA (mykoxaphalenphast) will soon be available in liquid form under the trade name of Mydixaflopin. Mydixaflopin will be marketed by Pepsi
Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as is, or as a mixer, under the name Mount And Do. Pepsi's proposed ad campaign suggests: "It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one."

power beverage = enerji ve kuvvet içeceği... for use as is = olduğu gibi kullanmak için... as a mixer = başka bir içkinin içine karıştırmak için... Mount & Do = Bin & Yap... literally = kelimenin tam anlamıyla, kelimesi kelimsine... a stiff one = sert bir içki anlamında... stiff = katı, kaskatı, sert, sertleşmiş...  

     Yukardan devam... "Scotch" sözcüğünü "Scotch terrier" ve "Scotch whiskey" ile sınırlı kullanın. Kullanmanız gereken sözcükler: Scotland (İskoçya); Scottish (İskoçyaca, İskoçyalı (sıfat); (the) Scots (İskoçyalılar); (a) Scotsman (İskoçyalı) (kişi)...  Bir de benim yukarda kullandığım "Hell's bells..." ile başlayan "küfür" ü, rastgele yerlerde kullanmayın. Özellikle Hristiyanlık duyguları kuvvetli olan kimseler çok alınabilirler...

 

CHUNKS OF WISDOM OR DROPLETS OF BANALITY ?

ON MARRIAGE !!!

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. -- Oscar Wilde

(İlk) evliliğimiz, aklımızın hayaller dünyamıza; ikinci evliliğimiz, deneyimlerimizin umut dünyamıza yenik düşmesidir... (Üçüncüsünü varın siz değerlendirin... Grameriyle biraz oynayarak çevirdim. imagination = hayal gücü, imgelem, muhayyile... imaginary = hayali (hiç de iyi birşey değil)... imaginative = hayal gücü yüksek, yaratıcı (çok iyi birşey)... Bu arada, "hayali ihracat" = fictive (veya, fictitious) exports... (fik-tiv, fik-ti-şıs)

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher... and that is a good thing for any man. -- Socrates

by all means = hayhay, pek tabii... By all means marry = Hayhay, evlenin, kardeşim!... (Sokrat, biliyorsunuz vıdıvıdıcı karısından çektiğini, nasırından bile çekmemişti!...)

Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle. -- Sam Levenson

Bu da çok iyi: İlk görüşte aşkı anlıyorum da, ömürboyu birbirinin suratına bakan iki kişi arasında aşk bir mucizeden başka birşey değil!...

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. -- Bill Cosby

Sevimli dostumuz Cosby de olayı aynı şekilde Vatikan'ın atladığı bir "mucize" olarak görüyor. To overlook = 1) Farkına varmadan atlamak, görememek, gözden kaçırmak; 2. Bile bile görmezden gelmek, müsamaha etmek... İki karşıt anlamı bünyesinde birlikte barındıran ilginç bir sözcük... Üçüncü bir anlamı daha var: Yukardan bakmak, yukardan görmek: Our balcony overlooks the sea... 

The middle years of marriage are the most crucial. In the early years, spouses want each other and in late years, they need each other. -- Rebecca Tilly

crucial (kru-şıl) = yaşamsal önem taşıyan, dönüm noktası olabilecek nitelikte... crux (kraks) = kritik nokta, meselenin özü, dönüm noktası, en önemli nokta... gibi anlamlar taşıyan kökten geliyor: The crux of the matter is that... vb. spouses (spau-zis) = eşler... Bu tümcenin ima ettiği (to imply) anlam: In the middle years, the spouses neither want nor need each other...

Bu arada, "brother; sister" dışında İngilizce'de Türkçe "kardeş" anlamını taşıyan "sibling" sözcüğünü biliyor musunuz? O da tıpkı "spouse" (karı veya kocadan herhangi birisi) gibi eşeysiz, ama pek fazla kullanılmayan bir sözcük...

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. -- Katherine Hepburn

(1940-50'li yılların süper Holywood yıldızlarından... Az örnek oluşturmamıştı kadın hakları için...)

Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry. -- Tom Mullen

blossom (b-la-sım) = çiçek vermek, bahar açmak, (mec) yeşerip boy atmak... Our love will blossom just as daisies do blossom in springtime (Öf be!)... Eşanlamlı bir başka sözcük: to bloom = çiçek açma, (mec) çiçekler gibi taptaze, sağlıklı, güzel olma... The roses have been blooming all through this summer... The roses must be in full bloom by this time... She was in the bloom of youth... 

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. -- George Bernard Shaw

sane = aklı başında... insane = çılgın, fıttırmış... sanity (-niti) = aklı başında olma... insanity (in--niti) delilik, çılgınlık... (sanitation = sanitasyon, hijyen, ile karıştırmayınız)... delusive (dil-yu:-siv) = geçen sayımızda öğrendiğimiz "delusion" sözcüğünü hatırladınız mı? İşte bu sözcüğün anlamı da, "delusion" lara yol açan demek... transient (træn-ziyınt) = geçici... will remain = o durumda kalacaklar, olmakta devam edecekler... exhausting = bitkin düşüren, tüm gücünü tüketen... until death do them part = ölüm onları ayırıncaya kadar... (evlilik yemininde geçen -- eski dilden -- "Until death do us part" ibaresinden...)

* * * * *

Değerli Okurlar, Geçen Sayımızda otomatik "spelling" tarama ve düzeltme programım aşka gelip (herhalde konunun sıcaklığından olacak) bazı Türkçe bölümleri de düzeltmiş. Doğrusunu aşağıda yeniden veriyorum:

I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soul mate, but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza. -- Alf Whit

somewhere in the universe = evened bar yelled... Derek timely not Edina: "On the table is a book." ornerier kullanılmış: "In X exists my Y"...

somewhere in the universe = evrende bir yerlerde... Devrik tümceyi not ediniz: "On the table is a book." örneği kullanılmış: "In X exists my Y"...

Aslında iyi de olmuş: Çoktandır açmak istediğim bir konuya vesile oldu. İngilizce web sayfalarınızı veya e-postalarınızı böyle bir programla taramakta yarar var (bu programların çoğunlukla Amerikan heceleme sistemini kullandığına dikkat ediniz) ama asla yeterli veya cankurtarıcı değil. Mutlaka kendiniz de metni gözden geçirmeli, "proofreading" (düzeltme) yapmalısınız. Unutmayın, bu programlar gramer hatalarınızı değil heceleme yanlışlarını hedef alıyor. "He have to go," gibi bir yanlışı düzeltmesini beklemeyin. (Aslında bunu yaptığı iddia edilen programlar da var, ama ben kendi adıma bunları asla güvenilir bulmuyorum.)

 
  
   

 

GRAMMAR & VOCABULARY

Answering Your Questions, To Start With:

(Intermediate level sorularınızı Türkçe, Advanced level sorularınızı İngilizce yanıtlıyorum)

 

 FARKLI TİP TÜMCELERİN BİRLİKTE DOLAYLI ANLATIMI 

1) Herbirisi kendi içinde ayrı giriş fiili ile dolaylı anlatıma (indirect speech, reported speech) çevrilip, daha sonra bileşik tümce haline getirilebilir:

"I don't know how to do it. Do you?"

        - She told me she didn't know how to do it and asked if I did.

"Give it to me. You won't need it."

        - She told/wanted me to give it to her and added that I wouldn't need it.

"I'm going shopping. Do you want anything?"

        - She said she was going shopping and asked me if I wanted anything.

2) İkinci tümce uygun bir participle kullanılarak birinciye bağlanabilir:

          "Please, please, don't drink too much! Remember that you'll have to drive us home."

          - She begged her husband not to drink too much, reminding him that he would have to drive them home...

Bu amaçla çok çeşitli yapılara başvurulabilir: pointing out that... suggesting that... adding that...

3) İkinci tümcenin, kendisinden önceki tümce için bir açıklama niteliği taşıdığı durumlarda, iki tümce "as" ile birbirine bağlanabilir:

          "You'd better put on a jacket. It's rather chilly outside."

          - She advised me to put on a jacket, as it was rather chilly outside.

 

ELEMENTARY PHONETICS

Some Notes On The Turkish Phonemic System
For Learners of Turkish

Most of the vowels are pronounced in a similar manner with those found in Italian and many of the consonants do not differ from those found in English. Exceptions are: --

Undotted "ı", both capital and small, is pronounced as in the first syllable of Cyril...

Dotted "i", both capital and small, is pronounced as in sit, bit...

"ö" and "ü" are pronounced  as in German...

"g" is always hard as in go, get...

"c" is pronounced as in jar, jam, jacket...

"ç" is pronounced as in church...

"ş" is pronounced as in shop, sharp...

"j" is pronounced as in French, and as in measure, treasure...

For the time being, you may regard "ğ" as a sign pointing to a lengthening of the preceding vowel, but I shall deal with it at some length at my earliest opportunity.

* * * * *

 
   
 Here Is An Intermediate Level Grammar Test I have Prepared For You 

Fill In The Blanks

1. "Where is Ali?" "He ............. to the pictures again." 

a. has been    b. 'd gone    c. goes    d. 's been    e. 's gone

2. Hello, Ali. Where have you ............ ?

a. had been     b. seen     c. done     d. gone     e. been

3. Put it on the table, ............ ?

a. do you      b. will you      c. are you      d. isn't it      e. don't you

4. What a long tedious journey ............ !

a. it was     b. was it     c. wasn't it     d. isn't it     e. didn't you go on

5. What one earth are you cooking in the kitchen? It smells ............ !

a. nasty    b. tastily     c. nicely     d. well     e. not too badly

* * * * *

Answers: 1. e    2. e    3. b    4. a    5. a

You can always mail me, should you have any doubts lingering on your mind. 

 
 
   
 And This Is An Advanced Level Vocabulary Test 

Test Yourself And See If You Can Find The Synonyms For : --

(1)...abuse    (2)...aggregate    (3)...delusion    (4)...disposition    (5)...earnest    (6)...eccentric    (7)...fatigue    (8)...pathetic    (9)...reinforce    (10)...robust

(a) serious, eager, frank

(ipucu: Sinatra nasıl samimi ise, Hemingway de öylesine ciddi ve içtenlikli idi...)

(b) pitiful, saddening, touching

(ipucu: Bu kaçıncı senfoni, Sayın Tchaikovski?)

(c) temperament, tendency, propensity

(ipucu: The general who had a kind/cruel/generous/selfish/cheerful /changeable ............ was a master of effective ............. of his troops when it came to disposing his forces on the battle field)

(d) mistreat, ill-treat, maltreat

(ipucu: Yoksa Türkçe "abus suratlı" dan mı?)

(e) illusion, fantasy, hallucination

(ipucu: Bu sözcük yukarda G.B. Shaw'un sözlerinde geçiyordu: Orada da, geçen sayımızda açıklamıştık, demiştik)

(f) vigorous, healthy, strong, sturdy

(ipucu: Tek harfini değiştirirseniz, argoda "topu dikmek, iflas etmek" anlamına gelecektir)

(g) irregular, erratic, changeable

(ipucu: Arabanızın önemli bir parçası mı?)

(h) strengthen, support, replenish

(ipucu: "yeniden-zorla-yaptırmak" ? Hayır, sadece pekiştirmek...)

(i) exhaustion, weariness, overtiredness

(ipucu: Türkçe tıpta takatsizlik anlamında çok kullanılan bir sözcük)

(j) total, sum, amount

(ipucu: Bir araya gelip "kongre" gibi birşey mi topluyorlar?)

* * * * *

Your Answers For The Test In Our Last Issue Should Have Been As Follows: --

(1-g)   (2-c)   (3-j)   (4-e)   (5-h)   (6-a)   (7-b)   (8-i)   (9-d)   (10-f)

* * * * *

Study suggestions repeated for our new members: Consult a good dictionary for any word you have doubts about -- for advanced learners I suggest an all-English dictionary and preferably one that offers extensive coverage of idioms and expressions for each entry and sample sentences as well... Write down your words in company with their dictionary definition, synonyms and antonyms, and a good number of the idioms and expressions it appears in, not forgetting the sample sentences... Try to memorize these sentences... Come back and have a look at the whole group from time to time - to refresh your memory and maybe to make a few additions...

Answers will be provided in our next issue...

You can always mail me, should you have any doubts lingering on your mind. 

 
 
 
HERE IS ANOTHER INTRIGUING,
LIFE-THREATENING PUZZLE FOR YOU

    Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola were two Catholic boys whose lives paralleled each other in amazing ways. In the same year Timothy was born in Ireland, Antonio was born in Italy. Faithfully they attended parochial school from kindergarten through their Senior year in High School.

parochial school = kilise okulu

    They took their vows to enter the priesthood early in college, and upon graduation became priests. Their careers had come to amaze the world, but it was generally acknowledged that Antonio was just a cut above Timothy in all respects. Their rise through the ranks of Bishop, Archbishop, and finally Cardinal was meteoric to say the least, and the Catholic world knew that when the present Pope died, it would be either Timothy or Antonio who would become the next Pope.

a cut above = bir gömlek üstün... in all respects = her açıdan...

    In time the Pope did die, and the College of Cardinals went to work. In less time than anyone expected smoke rose from the chimney and the world waited to see whom they had chosen. The world, Catholic, Protestant, and secular was surprised to learn that Timothy Murphy had been elected Pope.

smoke rose from the chimney = Kardinaller heyetinin yeni Papa'yı seçtiği haberinin bacadan dumanla müjdelenmesi adeti...

    Antonio was beyond surprise, he was devastated... Even though Timothy was tremendously gifted, Antonio knew he was the better qualified. With a bitterness that shocked the Cardinals, Antonio asked for a private session with them in which he candidly asked, "Why Timothy?"

    After a long silence, one old Cardinal took pity on the bewildered Antonio and rose to reply, "We knew you were the better of the two, but we just could not bear the thought of the leader of the Roman Catholic Church being called

Xxxx  Xxxxxx

(İKİ SÖZCÜK: 4 + 6 HARF)

* * * * *

Eeee? N'olmuş Yani?

Valla bunu çözüp bana gönderen olursa, bir dahaki sayımızda kendilerine burada "İNGİLİZCEYE Bİ-HAKKIN VAKIF" madalyası Takacağım!

 
A QUICK CHECKLIST FOR WORD PREFERENCES IN BRITISH AND AMERICAN ENGLISH

aerial - antenna               anywhere - anyplace

autumn - fall                              banknote - bill

barrister - attorney                solicitor - attorney

braces - suspenders                  condom - rubber

(car) bonnet - hood                  (car) boot - trunk

engine - motor                                     lorry - truck

caretaker - janitor             chemist's - drugstore

flat - apartment                               lift - elevator

ground floor - first floor             handbag - purse

chips - french fries                        biscuit - candie

the cinema - the movies                   film - movie

crossroads - intersection

   dust-bin   -    trash-can

               dustman - garbage collector

graduate - alumnus

                 hoover - vacuum cleaner

interval - intermission             holiday - vacation

luggage - baggage             main road - highway

nappy - diaper                                      can - tin

serviette - table napkin             telly- television

  toilet (loo) - restroom   petrol - gasoline (gas)

* * * * *

Just mail me, if you have any doubts lingering on your mind.

 Bana olan mesajlarınızı İngilizce yazmağa çalışın... Fayda faydadır. Ama, Türkçe de olur, çekinmeyin...

   

 RECOMMENDED ONLINE RESOURCES 

 Intensive English Institute at the University of Illinois 

Great site for interactive listening comprehension practice with a very useful section on  Free English Study Resources ...

Kulak eğitimi için son derece yararlı bir site. Kuvvetle öneririm.

* * * * *

   
 
 
CLEAN JOKE OF THE DAY
AN EERIE LITTLE STORY

It was a dark and stormy night... Eddie's father heard him praying, as he walked pass his room: "God bless Mommy, Daddy, Grandma -" The boy's prayer ended in a sob: "And, bye-bye, Grandpa!"

His father didn't quite know what to make of this, but was glad his son was doing his prayers. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead in his bed of a heart attack.

The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit disconcerted.

The next night, he eavesdropped on Eddie's praying: "God bless Mommy and Daddy. And, bye-bye Grandma." the boy sobbed... Very worried now, nevertheless the perplexed father  decided to wait until morning.

Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was motionless in her bed, apparently a victim of a heart attack during the night.

Really frightened now, Eddie's father decided to wait outside the boy's door to hear everything clearly the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy. And (sobs) bye-bye, Daddy."

The first thing the father did in the morning was an emergency visit to the doctor's to make sure his health was fine. A thorough check-up was conducted upon his insistent demands, but nothing unusual came off it. What a relief, he thought to himself... 

When he finally made home, his wife and son were waiting for him out on the porch. She said, "Thank God you're here -- we've got quite a problem! You see, we've had the milkman drop dead at the door after you left this morning!"

Eddie had a funny glitter in his eyes...

 
DIRTY JOKE OF THE DAY
HOME FOR LUNCH

At an art exhibition there was a painting of three very naked, and very black men, sitting on a bench.

Well, nothing so unusual about that, but what was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis.

The picture was titled "Home for Lunch" !!!

Two women were standing there, staring at the picture, scratching their heads and trying to figure this out.

The artist walked by and noticed the women's confusion. "Can I help you with this painting?" he asked politely.

"Well, yes" said one of the ladies. "We were curious about the picture of the black man in the middle. Why does he have a pink penis?"

"Oh," said the artist. "I'm afraid you've misunderstood the whole painting. The three men are not Africans, they're coal miners...

"And it was the fellow in the middle who went "Home for Lunch."

* * * * *

A DIFFERENT MODEL EACH YEAR

A doctor said to the mechanic who had just finished his job on his car, "Your debit is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."

"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model; it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every year."

 
FOLK WISDOM
MEDICAL JOKES

"Doctor, are you sure I'm suffering from pneumonia? I've heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus."

"Don't worry, it won't happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia."

* * * * *

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE
"Doctor, I have an ear-ache."
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

* * * * *

THE PATHOLOGIST AND THE GENERAL SURGEON

A pathologist and a general surgeon were out in the field, shooting birds...

A bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks through the pages of a bird manual, and says, "Hmmmm... green wings, yellow bill, quacking sound...might be a duck."

He raises his gun to shoot it, but the bird is long gone.

Another bird flies over. The surgeon raises his gun and shoots almost without looking, brings the bird down, and turns to the pathologist and says, "Go see if that was a duck."

* * * * *

 

LEARN ( BUT DO NOT OVERUSE ) SOME SLANG EXPRESSIONS !!

Systematic (Tentatively) Examples of British Slang

All right? = Londra'dan Manchester'e geniş bir coğrafyada tanıdık tanımadık herkesten işitip önceleri çok şaşıracağınız bir deyiş... "All right, mate?" çok daha yaygın... "Hello, how are you?" anlamına geldiğini kısa sürede anlıyorsunuz.  "All right?" şeklinde, yine soru tonlamasında bir yanıt olağan beklentileri...

arse (a:s) = Temelde Amerikan "ass" (æs/æ:s)sözcüğünün UK karşılığı (ama çok daha kaba). Bildiğim kadarıyla, USA'da kullanılmıyor. "Oh, you're a pain in the arse" (Amma da baş belasısın, ha!)...  "A half-arsed attempt" = gönülsüz bir girişim... "Oh, I couldn't be arsed" (Valla, bu zahmete girmem doğrusu" gibi deyimlerde de karşımıza çıkıyor...

arsehole = USA: asshole... Heriki dilde de önüne gelen ortamlarda kullanabileceğiniz sözcükler değil. Türkçe'de aşağı yukarı, "k***mın ağzı", "g** deliği" gibi anlamlar veriyor...

arseholed = Aşırı derecede sarhoş... "Oh, she was of course completely arseholed last night, mate!"

ass = USA İngilizcesinde "kıç" anlamı taşıyan bu sözcük, Britanya adalarında da bu anlamda anlaşılırsa da, daha çok bilinen "eşek" anlamındadır. (Küfür olarak kullanıldığında "budala, kolay aldatılmış" anlamına)...

backy = Tütün ("tobacco" dan) ve özellikle de sigaranızı kendiniz sarmakta kullandığınız tütün...

bang = Bu sözcük bildiğim kadarıyla ABD'de kuaförlükle ilgili bir anlamda kullanılıyormuş. Bir üyemiz açıklarsa sevinirim. İngiltere'de ise bu sözcük erkeğin kadınla "cinsel ilişki yapması" anlamında kaba bir sözcüktür. Nitekim, "gangbang", "birden çok erkeğin bir kadınla cinsel ilişkisi" anlamını taşıyor.

barmy (ba:-mi) = Kafayı üşütmüş, kafadan çatlak...

Belt up! = Kapa çeneni! (= Shut up!)... You belt up, will you!...

Blast! = "Hay Allah kahretsin!", bazen de, "Ne iş yahu!" anlamları taşıyabilecek bir ünlem... "Blast it", ve hatta "Bugger and blast!" gibi varyasyonlar işitebilirsiniz...

bloody  = İngiltere'de ençok işiteceğiniz argo sözcüklerden birisi... Bir pekiştirici olarak kullanılıyor... "Bloody hell", "Bloody marvellous", "Bloody awful", "You're bloody mad", "Not bloody likely"... Hatta, bazen başka sözcüklerin arasına bile yerleştirilebiliyor: "Abso-bloody-lutely"! (Aynı şekilde, blooming, bleeding)

Blimey! - Yine çok işitilen bir tahammülsüzlük veya şaşkınlık ünlemi... İşitilen varyasyonları: "Gawd Blimey", "Cor Blimey", "Gor Blimey". Bütün bunlar aslında "God Blind Me!" (Allah beni kör etsin) şeklindeki bir yemin/ küfürden bozularak oluşmuşlardır...

         

ANASAYFA  --  TESTLER  --  OKUMA  --  EĞLENCE