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CLEAN
JOKE OF THE DAY
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THE
WRONG MESSAGE !
Typing
in the wrong e-mail address could cause some serious harm.
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled
streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida.
His
wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the
next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a
quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had
written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
scrap
of paper = kağıt parçası...
Unfortunately,
he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an
elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day
before.
missed
one letter = bir harf atladı... elderly preacher = yaşlı vaiz...
to pass away = ölmek
When
the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the
monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead
faint.
grieving
widow = yastaki (üzüntülü) dul bayan... [erkek = widower -- yani
onlarda erkek bizdeki gibi "bekar" kalmıyor, o da dul kalıyor.],,,
piercing scream = kulakları tırmalayan [delici] bir çığlık...
in a dead faint = ölü gibi baygın...
At
the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the
screen:
Dearest
Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival
tomorrow. Signed, Your eternally loving husband.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
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DIRTY JOKE OF THE DAY
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THE
BIG REASON !
Edna and Bill
were two residents of a nursing home who had been carrying on a love
affair. They were both 96 years old, and wheelchair bound.
nursing home
= huzur evi (bakım evi)... wheelchair bound = tekerlekli sandalyeye
mahkum
Every night,
they would meet in the TV room. Edna would passively hold Bill's
penis and they would watch TV for an hour or so. It wasn't much, but
it was all they had.
"would"
= bu kullanım "used to" ile aynı anşamdadır... It
wasn't much, but it was all they had. = Fazla birşey sayılmazdı,
ama sahip oldukları tek şey buydu...
One night
Bill didn't show up. He didn't show up for the next two nights
either. Edna assumed he was dead, but then she saw him happily
wheeling about the grounds, she confronted him and said, "Where
were you these past couple of nights?"
He replied,
"If you must know, I was with another woman".
"Bastard!"
she cried. "What were you doing?". "We do the exact
same thing that you and I do," he answered.
"Is she
prettier or younger than I am?" she asked. "Nope, she
looks the same, and she is 98 years old," Bill replied:
"Well
then, what does she have that I don't?" Edna asked. Bill smiled
slyly and said....
slyly =
kurnazca, şeytanca, yaramazca...
"
Parkinson's disease".
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FOLK
WISDOM
Never be afraid to try
something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark.
Professionals built the Titanic.
Talk is
cheap because supply exceeds demand.
supply and
demand = arz ve talep...
Stupidity got us into
this mess - why can't it get us out?
Love is grand; divorce
is a hundred grand.
a hundred
grand = argoda yüzbin dolar... boşanmanın maliyeti!...
Politicians and
diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed
regularly and for the same reason.
siyasetçilerle
çocuk bezi arasında ortak bir nokta var: Sıksık değiştirilmeleri
gerekir ve de aynı nedenle...
There is always death
and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.
It's easier to fight
for one's principles than to live up to them.
Anything free is worth
what you pay for it.
Bedava olan
herşey ona ödediğiniz paraya değer...
In just two days,
tomorrow will be yesterday.
My inferiority complex
is not as good as yours.
I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
It's frustrating when
you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the
questions.
frustrating =
hayal kırıklığı yaratan
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