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CLEAN
JOKE OF THE DAY
LEARNING
THE HARD WAY
A man was sick and
tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed at home. He wanted
her to see what he went through so he prayed:
sick and tired 0 bıkmış
usanmış... what he went through = çektiklerini (karısı görsün
istedi)...
"Dear Lord, I
go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at
home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in
our bodies God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.
Lord = Tanrı...
merely = sadece, yalnızca... trade = (burada) değiş tokuş... infinite
= sonsuz wisdom = bilgelik... granted his wish = dileğini kabul etti...
to grant = karşılıksız vermek, bağışlamak (affetmek anlamına değil)...
The next morning,
sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his
mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast,
packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home; and picked up the
dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw out
money to pay the power bill and telephone bill, drove to the power company
and the phone company and paid the
bills, went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries...
sure enough = bu deyim
Türkçe'ye genellikle "gerçekten de" şeklinde çeviri
veriyor... mate = (burada) eş [Yukarda, "Manbashing" bölümüne
bknz]...
He then cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1:00
p.m. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and
sweep and mop the kitchen floor. He ran to the school to pick up the kids
and got into an argument with them on the way home. He set out cookies and
milk and got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the
ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 PM he began
peeling potatoes and washed greens for salads, breaded*** the chops and
snapped fresh beans for supper.
to mop = paspas
yapmak... ironing board = ütü tahtası... snapped ...etc = taze fasülyeleri
çıt çıt kırarak hazırladı...
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran
the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At
9:00 PM he was exhausted and though his chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he
was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without
complaint.
ran the dishwasher =
bulaşık makinesini işletti... folded laundry = çamaşırları katladı...
chore = ağır iş, angarya... managed to get through = sonuna kadar
gitmeyi/götürmeyi becerdi...
The next morning he
awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, "Lord", I don't
know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to
stay home all day. Please, O please, let us trade back."
knelt by the bed =
yatağın yanında diz çöktü... to envy = gıpta etmek... let us trade
back = eski halimize dönmemize izin ver...
The Lord, in his
infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your
lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.
You'll have to wait 9 months, though. You got pregnant last night"!!!
though = bununla
birlikte, ne var ki...
***Amerikan kültürünü
tanıyan üyelerimizden, lütfen "breaded the chops" deyimini açıklamalarını
rica ediyorum...
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DIRTY JOKES OF THE DAY
LICKS
HIS EYEBROWS
A very good
looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat.
During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single
woman who walks into the bar, with no luck.
good looking =
yakışıklı... singles bar = herkesin tek gelp çift çıkmayı
umut ettiği türden... has a seat = "oturdu" (deyiminiz:
"to have a seat": "Come on in, have a seat." =
"Gel içeri, gel; otur bir yerlere.")... during the course
of = boyunca, süresince... to chat = lafa tutmak... with no lıck =
ama şansı yaver gitmez...
Suddenly a
really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man walks into the bar.
He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women.
Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most beautiful
women you ever saw.
within seconds =
birkaç saniye içinde... [Eeee,
otobüs şirketine dava açmayanlar! Neden burada "in
seconds" diyemiyoruz??]... is
surrounded by women = kadınlar tarafından kuşatılır...
Disheartened
by all this, the good looking man asks the barman, 'Excuse me, but
that really ugly man just came in here and left with those two
stunning women - what's his secret? He's as ugly as sin and I'm
everything a girl could want but have not been able to connect all
night - What's going on?'
disheartened =
cesaretini kaybetmiş olarak... stunning = şaşırtıcı güzellikte
(asıl anlamı, hayret ve şaşkınlıktan donduran, taş
kestiren)... as ugly as sin = "son derece çirkin" anlamına
bir deyim... to connect = burada, "kimseyle titreşim kuramadım"
anlamına...
'Well,' says
the Barman, 'I don't know how he does it, but he does the same thing
every night. He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there
licking his eyebrows...'
licking his
eyebrows = kaşlarını yalayarak...
SEX
AND THE CITY !!
These three
women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates
and they all came home at about the same time.
roommates = oda
arkadaşı... to go out on a date = randevusu olmak, çıkmak...
(Biliyorsunuz, "date" sözcüğü iş görüşmeleri için
kullanılmaz: "appointment", veya "interview"
gibi sözcükler kullanılır...
The first one
said, "You know you've been on a good date when you come home
with your hair all messed up."
"You know
you've..." = Burada, "One knows one...etc" anlamında...
with your hair all messed up = saçın karmakarışık (bir halde,
olmak üzere)...
The second one said, "No, you know you've been on a good date
when you come home with your makeup all smeared."
with your makeup
all smeared = makyajın dağılmış, her tarafa yayılmış (bulaşmış,
leke olmuş)...
The third one
said nothing, but reached under her skirt, removed her panties and
threw them against the wall, where they stuck. "Now THAT'S a
good date!"
stuck = yapıştı...
"Now, THAT's a good date!" = "İyi bir gece (randevu,
buluşma) diye işte ben BUNA derim!!" *
* * * *
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