Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul

Hacettepe Üniversitesi eski öğr. üyesi

PRACTICAL ENGLISH FOR TURKS

A Free Bilingual Electronic Ezine

Issued Every Monday

04/15/02 - 0026

          It's cherry blossom time, Dearest Members; it's apple blossom time; it's April in full bloom, and certainly I am in no mood for talking about a body of parliamentarians who are several decades behind an understanding of modern technology (they are preparing to push a bill to bring the electronic media under the jurisdiction of much-disputed Turkish laws on broadcasting, unawares that a citizen can operate a website even from Patagonia, Papua New Guinea or the Maldives if he/she so wishes)... Go on, do it: And watch the billion dollars you borrow from the IMF and the World Bank disappear in fees paid to foreign service providers!..

           Nor am I in the mood for discussing the foolish feud carried on by two prominent columnists, Mr. Bekir Coşkun and Mr. Hıncal Uluç, both self-professed animal-lovers, who are doing more harm than good to our cause... Thus as carefree as April itself do I feel, for I can transfer my websites any time I please to lands where wisdom of democracy prevails; and take my Badi (cocker spaniel) and Elmoş (Irish setter) in the meantime for long walks among cherry and apple orchards... İzbul

 

DOMESTIC NEWS
PARLIAMENTARY COMMITTEE CRITICIZES OVERZEALOUS POLICE

The Interior Ministry has announced that it will investigate claims that students were mistreated during a recent protest

zealous [ze-lıs] = istekli, gönüllü... "overzealous" = "görevini yapması gerektiğinden daha büyük bir aşkla yapıyor" (over = aşırı, kavramından)...

A Turkish parliamentary committee has criticized police of using excessive force during a protest by students demonstrating against the ban on wearing headscarves at religious schools.

to demonstrate = (burada) gösteri/nümayiş yapmak... ban = yasak... headscarf = başörtüsü... (scarf = eşarp... Hintli türbanı ile karışmaması için "turban" denilmiyor)

The parliament’s inter-party human rights committee said that police mistreated students during the protest in Istanbul last month, in particular highlighting the handcuffing of students.

inter-party = partilerarası... human rights = insan hakları... to mistreat = kötü muamele yapmak... to highlight = vurgulamak ("ışıkları üzerine odaklamak" kavramından)... handcuff = kelepçe...

The committee recommended that an inquiry into the involvement of the Istanbul provincial governor, Erol Çakır, be instigated. The provincial police force is responsible to the governor.

inquiry = soruşturma... involvement = olaya karışmış olmak, olayda rolü olmak... to instigate an inquiry = soruşturma başlatmak... The provincial ...etc = İllerde polis valiye karşı sorumludur...

Turkland’s Interior Ministry, under which the country’s police force serve, has already announced it will conduct an investigation into reports that students were mistreated.

Interior Ministry = İçişleri Bakanlığı... To conduct an investigation = soruşturma (araştırma) başlatıp yürütmek/sürdürmek...

DERVİŞ WARNS AGAINST SPECULATIVE MOVES IN FOREIGN CURRENCY MARKET

Derviş said that the 2002 target of around 30 percent inflation and three percent growth would be achieved

A senior Turkish minister has warned against currency speculation, saying that such moves could result in speculators “getting burnt”.

speculative moves = spekülatif hareketler... foreign currency market = döviz piyasası... senior minister = Açıklaması: Kimi bakanlık veya bakanların kabine içinde daha "önemli" veya ağırlığı olduğu kavramını yansıtan "senior" sözcüğü burada "önde gelen" deyimi ile karşılanabilir.

Kemal Derviş, the State Minister Responsible for the Economy, spoke out against speculative moves in foreign currency market and said that the only way out of Turkland’s ongoing financial crisis was to work with the International Monetary Fund.

spoke out = ilan etti, açığa vurdu ("out" burada pekiştirici bir işleve sahip; kullanılmasaydı, çeviri "konuştu, sözler söyledi" şeklinde olacaktı)... the only way out = tek çıkış yolu... ongoing = sürmekte olan...

Speaking at a meeting held by the Turkish Young Businessmen Association, Derviş stressed that the floating foreign currency regime was to continue and added that if investors tried to speculate in the market they would burn themselves.

stressed = vurguladı... floating = yüzer ("dalgalı" diyoruz)...

As long as Turkland adhered to its economic reform and recovery program, backed by the IMF and the World Bank, it would be possible to lower inflation to 30 percent by the end of the year and to achieve three percent growth in the economy for 2002.

to adhere = "yapışmak"; mecazi: bir görüş vs'ye bağlı olmak, taraftarı olmak... burada "sadık kalmak, sürdürmek" (piyasadaki "adhesive", yapıştırıcıların ve fizikteki "adhesion" gücünün fiil kökü)... to lower = düşürmek...  to achieve = başarmak, elde etmek...

TURKISH MUSEUMS RECORD BOOM YEAR

The Topkapı Museum was Turkland’s most popular attraction, 1,712,000 million visitors to the former Ottoman Palace

boom = büyük canlılık, patlama...

Revenue generated by Turkland’s many museums hit record levels in 2001, with some TL 46 trillion being taken in at the gates.

revenue = gelir (devlet, kurumlar, vb için kullanılır; çalışanların geliri = income)... to take in = burada, alınıp kasaya atılan, yani tahsil edilen... 

Although Turkland has been suffering from the effects of a financial crisis in 2001, the money raised from entrance fees to museums and historical sites broke all existing records. Some 16 million people visited the various museums throughout the country, paying TL 46 trillion or $346 million for the privilege.

entrance fee = giriş ücreti... all existing records = varolan/mevcut bütün rekorlar... privilege = ayrıcalık, imtiyaz. Burada "müzeye girmek" için kullanılıyor...

Turkland’s top attraction in 2001 was Topkapı Palace in Istanbul. The former home of the Ottoman sultans and their courts saw 1.7 million visitors, with entrance fees topping T.3 trillion. Second on the list of popular sites was the ancient Roman city of Ephesus and the Hagia Sofia Museum.

top attraction = ençok ilgi çeken... court = burada "maiyet" anlamında... topping ... = o düzeye ulaşarak, aşarak...

*  *  *  *  *

 

DOMESTIC NEWS
BAYAR: I WILL CONTINUE TO SERVE MY COUNTRY

The recently dismissed head of the Privatization Board refused to reveal the reasons behind his being removed from office

recently dismissed = yakın zamanlarda işine son verilen... Privatization Board = Özelleştirme Kurulu... to reveal = açıklamak, açığa vurmak, ifşa etmek... his being removed from office = kendisinin görevden alınması...

The former head of the Privatization Board, Uğur Bayar, resigned late on Wednesday from the executive board of Turkish Airlines and the committee overseeing the tender process for the selling off of the state-owned landline monopoly Turk TeleKom.

to resign [ri-zayn] = istifa etmek... to re-sign [ri-sayn] = yeniden imzalamak... (Hece vurgularına dikkat!)... executive board [ig-ze-kitivbo:d] = yönetim kurulu, idare meclisi... to oversee = denetlemek... tender = ihale... landline monopoly = hat tekeli... ["landline", mevcut teknolojiyi dikkkate alarak yapılmış bir terimdir = yer+hattı... "It is predicted that in a three years wireless communications will overtake and outsell landline service in the global market."]

Bayar refused to make any statement on why he had been dismissed as the Privatization Board, a position that he has held for four and half years. He vowed to continue to on his path to serve his country and people.

to make a statement = beyanda bulunmak ("birşey söylemek" anlamında, yoksa mal beyanı filan değil)... to dismiss = işten çıkarmak (burada edilgen: to be dismissed)... to hold a position = o görevde olmak (dile şöyle yaklaşmak gerekiyor: demek ki İngilizce'de "position", yani görevler "hold" ediliyor)... to vow = yemin etmek, söz vermek... Ama Türkçe'ye çevirirken, illa ki "yemin etti, söz verdi" demek zorunda değilsiniz: Tümcenin gelişine göre, örneğin "kuvvetle belirtti" filan demek de hakkınız... to continue on one's path = yoluna devam etmek... to serve = hizmet etmek...

The State Minister in Charge of Privatization, Yılmaz Karakoyunlu, dismissed Bayar from his job on Tuesday, reportedly after the two had clashed over Turkish Airline’s involvement in ground services.

State Minister = devlet bakanı... in charge of = sorumlu, yönetiminde... reportedly = (gazetecilik dili) bildirildiğine göre... the two = ikisi (bu iki kişi, kendileri)... To clash = çatışmak, uyumsuzluk içinde olmak... involvement = işin içine karışmış olma, işin içinde olma, dahil olma, parçası olma... ground services = yer hizmetleri...

Both Turk Telekom and Turkish Airlines have been slated for privatization, a part of the government’s program to sell off state assets.

to be slated = aday listesinde bulunmak, işaretlenmiş olmak (çok eskilerde - çocukluğumda bunlardan görmüştüm - taşkalem ile elde kullanılan "slate" = taştahta kavramından oluşturulmuş bir fiil... to sell off = elden çıkarmak... state assets = devlet varlıkları...

CARETTA TURTLES EGG-LAYING SEASON OPENS

The public has been asked not to approach or harass the turtles as they enter their breeding season

to harass = rahatsız etmek, taciz etmek... breeding = çoğalma... to breed = (hayvan) üretmek: "We breed race horses", ama "We bring up children"...

As the Caretta Caretta turtles’ breeding season approaches, the Turkish environment protection authority impose strict measures to protect the endangered species from being disturbed.

to approach = yaklaşmak... environment protection = çevre koruma... impose strict measures = kesin (sert) önlemler koymak... endangered = tehlike altındaki... species = biyolojik tür (tekili ve çoğulu aynı olan bir sözcük, Yani, One species is... Two species are)... to disturb = rahatsız etmek...

The Caretta Caretta turtles that once laid their eggs on many of the beaches around the shores of the Mediterranean are now face risk of extinction as a result of expanding coastal urbanization.

to lay an egg = yumurtlamak... to face a risk = tehlike ile yüzyüze olmak... extinction = yokolma, soyu tükenme... expanding = genişleyen, genişlemekte olan... coastal = kıyılardaki, kıyısal... urban = kentsel, (ayrıca, = civilized, uygar gibi bir anlamı da vardır)... urbanization = kentleşme... (Latince, "urb" = kent kökünden)

In an effort to ensure the survival of the species, Turkish authorities have issued warnings that the turtle’s egg-laying season is between May and September and that they should not disturbed.

to ensure = olmasını sağlamak, olanaklı kılmak... 

The Caretta Caretta turtles have a history going back one million years and average between 0.9 to 1,15 meters and weigh between 70 and 160 kilos.

to weigh = ağırlığında olmak, (kilo) "çekmek/gelmek"...

A female Caretta Caretta can lay between 80 to 100 eggs every second year but many baby turtles are unable to reach the sea, facing many human and natural threats. Therefore, Turkland has established an number of protected breeding areas, closed to the public, to provide the turtles with every chance at life.

every second year = iki yılda bir... to establish = kurmak, tesis etmek... closed to the public = halka kapalı, umuma kapalı... to provide ...etc = kaplumbağalara hertürlü yaşama şansını tanıyabilmek için...

*  *  *  *  *

GALATASARAY BREAKS CLEAR

NOT: Geçen sayımızda bu başlığı attıktan sonra aceleye gelip karşılığını yazmamışım. Tamamlıyorum: to break clear = sıyrılıp geride bırakmak; puan cetvelinde arayı açmak...

Söz aramızda, İstanbulspor maçından sonra aynı başlığı tekrarlamak, benim için büyük bir zevk...

Last Minute: Congratulations to FB for getting back in the race; and my sympathies for BJK fans; and what a referee: the name is all-telling: Empty + Horse... And Shout "Eye, Eye, Eye-Hill"!!

 
 
CHUNKS OF WISDOM OR DROPLETS OF BANALITY ?

FAMOUS LAST WORDS
PART THREE

I am not the least afraid to die. --  Charles Darwin (1809-1882)

Darwin, oğlu ile konuştuktan sonra, yatağında sükunet ve huzurlu bir ruh hali içinde dünyaya veda etmiştir...

My God. What's happened? -- Diana (Spencer), Galler Prensesi (1961-1997)

Leydi Diana'nın, Fransız Polisi kayıtlarına göre son sözleri... (what's = what has)...

Shakespeare, I come. --  Theodore Dreiser (1871-1945)

Amerikalı romancı... Yakın arkadaşı H.L. Mencken'e yıllar önce, ölürken son sözlerinin bunlar olmasına karar verdiğini söylemişti: "Geliyorum, Şekspir."

My work is done, why wait? -- George Eastman (1854-1932)

Amerikalı mucit; 1884'de, esnek fotoğraf filmini, 1888'de ilk Kodak fotoğraf makinesini üretmiş, kurduğu şirketle büyük bir zenginliğe kavuşmuş; üniversite, diş klinikleri ve müzik kurumlarına çok büyük bağışlar yapmıştır. 77 yaşında yakalandığı omurilik hastalığı karşısında, işlerini kendisinden sonra da yürüyecek belli bir düzene soktuktan sonra yukardaki notu bırakarak intihar etmiştir: "İşlerimi (veya işimi = bu dünyadaki görevimi/kariyerimi, yapmam gerekenleri) tamamladım. Artık neden bekleyeyim ki?"

It's very beautiful over there. --  Thomas A. Edison (1847-1931)

Amerikalı mucit... Ölüm döşeğinde yanında olan karısı "Are you suffering?" (Acı çekiyor musun?) diye sorunca, "No, just waiting." (Hayır, sadece bekliyorum) şeklinde yanıt veren Edison, sonra bir an için pencereden dışarı bakmış ve yumuşak bir sesle yukardaki son sözlerini söylemiştir: "Orada herşey çok güzel..."

I've always loved my wife, my children, and my grandchildren, and I've always loved my country. I want to go. God, take me. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890-1969)

Amerikalı general ve başkan...

All my possessions for a moment of time. -- Elizabeth I, Queen of England (1533-1603)

Zamandan bir an daha çalabilmek için sahip olduğum herşeyi verirdim... [Biraz fazla şairane mi çevirdim ne?]

I see that you have made three spelling mistakes. -- Thomas de Mahay, Favras Markisi (1744-1790)

Fransız İhtilalinden sonra giyotine giderken eline tutuşturulan mahkeme kararına göz atınca...

I am a pianist. -- John Fields (1782-1837)

Britanyalı pianist ve besteci... Chopin üzerine büyük etkisi olduğu düşünülür. Ölüm döşeğinde bir papaz çağırmak istediklerinde, hangi mezhepten olduğunu öğrenmek için "Are you a Papist or a Calvinist?" diye sorduklarında verdiği cevap: "Hayır, piyanistim!"

 

 
     

COMMON ABBREVIATIONS

Abbreviations are just a part of our hurried modern life. They are very common in e-mails, faxes and business letters. I've put together a few of the more common ones here. If you would like any other ones explained, just send me an e-mail and I'll try to find out their meaning for you. Any offers for corrections on my list are most welcome.

@

at

a/c

account

AGM

annual general meeting

AOB

any other business

ASAP

as soon as possible

attn

for the attention of

approx.

approximately

cc

copies to

CEO

Chief Executive Officer

c/o

care of

COD

cash on delivery

dept

department

EGM

extraordinary general meeting

ETA

estimated time of arrival

GDP

gross domestic product

GNP

gross national product

HP

hire purchase

i.e.

that is (yani)

IMHO

in my humble opinion

Inc

incorporated

IOU

I owe you

IPO

initial public offer

Jr

junior

K

thousand

lb

pound (ağırlık = 453 gr)

£

pound (İngiliz sterlini)

Ltd

limited company

mo.

month

mth

month

N/A

not applicable

Nb

pay attention to

no.

number

PA

personal assistant

p.a.

per year (per annum)

pd

paid

plc

public limited company

pls

please

pls cfm

please confirm

PR

public relations

PTO

please turn over

p.w.

per week

qty

quantity

R&D

research and development

re

with reference to

ROI

return on investment

RSVP

please reply

s.a.e.

stamped addressed envelope

VAT

value added tax

VIP very important person
viz namely

 

 
 
NOTES TOWARD A COMPILATION OF ENGLISH IDIOMS FOR TURKS

let/leave smb/sth alone = uzak durmak, dokunmamak, rahatsız etmemek... Oh, let me alone, will you!.. (Git başımdan, tamam mı!)... Leave that alone! (Dokunma ona)... Leave the dog alone; he'll bite you if you keep teasing him...

let alone ... = ...'i bir yana bırak... nede zaten... I don't even have any ordinary paper to write on, let alone any fancy stuff... (Fantezi olanlarını bir yana bırak, sıradan kağıdım bile yok)... I have no time to spare to talk to him, let alone the inclination (Onunla konuşmaya ayıracak vaktim yok; nede zaten isteğim)...

all along = öteden beri, hep böyle, herzaman için... We've been suspicious of him all along. (Ondan hep şüphelendik... Tüm bu zaman zarfınca ondan şüphelenegeldik)... He has been with us all along (Hep yanımızdaydı; hiç yanımızdan ayrılması)...

come/go/take/bring along with = birlikte/yanısıra gelmek/gitmek/götürmek/getirmek... Come along (with me/us)... You mustn't go along with him... Take him along with you, will you? (Onu da yanında götür, olur mu)... She brought along a friend with her...

get along (well) with = geçinmek, anlaşmak, arası (iyi) olmak, ilerleme kaydetmek... How are you getting on with your neighbours?.. He doesn't get along very well with the other boys in his class... How are you getting along with your project?..

call/read aloud = yüksek sesle çağırmak/okumak... Somebody called loud for help... Please read the story loud (= kendi kendine okuma, yüksek sesle oku, hepimiz dinleyelim)...

in alphabetical order = harf sırasına göre... Arrange the words in alphabetical order... Our names were called out in alphabetical order...

lead (a woman) to the altar = (onunla) evlenmek, eş olarak almak... All along, he had no intentions other than leading her to the altar...

on alternate days = iki günde bir, birer gün atlayarak... The maid comes on alternate days... Ali and Güneş work on alternate days (Pazartesi, Çarşamba, Cuma Ali çalışıyor; Salı, Perşembe, Cumartesi Güneş çalışıyor -- Tabii, Pazar ne oluyor diye soracaksınız? Dinleniyorlar...)

alternating current = değişken/dalgalı (alternatif) akım... Yani, DC (direct/doğru) değil, AC...

have no (other) alternative = başka seçeneği olmamak... You have to do it; you have no other alternative...

make amends for = özür dilemek, kusurunu düzeltmek, tazmin etmek... I think you'd better make amends for the harm you've caused him; otherwise you'll be in further trouble...

take (it) amiss = gücenmek... Please don't take it amiss if I point out your mistakes.

go amiss = yolunu şaşırmak, yoldan çıkmak... I trust your good efforts will not go amiss this time. (Bu tümceyi "cheeky", alaycı, bir ifade ile söylediğinizde, "I trust" deyişi "Umarım" anlamı kazanacaktır: Yani, pek öyle beklemiyorum ama...)

not amiss = isabetli, uygun, münasip... Well, your decision was certainly not amiss...

*  *  *  *  *

 

FOLK WISDOM

TOP FIVE THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

[Ancak Kadınların Anlayabileceği Beş Şey]


5. Cats' facial expressions.

Kedilerin yüz ifadeleri...

4. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.

Aynı cins ayakkabıdan çeşitli renkte pekçok çift...

3. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.

Bu renkler arasındaki farklılık... [Tabii, ben de bilmiyorum]

2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made...

Bugüne kadar yapılmış bütün banyo tartılarının yanlış gösterdiği...

 AND the Number One Thing That Only Women Understand [Veee, 1 Numarada İsee...]

1. OTHER WOMEN / DİĞER KADINLAR

*  *  *  *  *

GOOD REASONS NOT TO EXERCISE

[Spor Yapmamak İçin Nedenler]

It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month. [Özetle, sporla geçen her dakika ömrünüze 1 dakika daha ekler; bu size 85 yaşında fazladan 5 ay kazandırır, huzurevi için 5 ay daha para ödersiniz.]

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. [Geçtiğimiz yıl bir sağlık kulübüne üye oldum ve yaklaşık 400 dolar harcadım, ama bir gram bile veremedim. Anlaşıldığına göre, seanslara katılmanız (kulübe gitmeniz) gerekiyormuş...]

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. [figure out = anlamak, çıkarsamak, vaziyeti çakmak...]

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
[Neyse ki göbeğim, bacaklarımdaki sarkık etleri örtüyor... Sözlüğe bakarsanız, "thigh" karşılığında "uyluk" ve "but" karşılıklarının verildiğini göreceksiniz. Bu kavramla, gerek İngilizlerin, gerekse bizim ne kastettiğimiz biraz muğlak olduğu için, buradaki çevirimi tercih ettim]

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

And last but not least:

I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass. [Yani, "içki bardağımdaki buzlar fırlayıp düşüyor" demek istiyor...]

   

 RECOMMENDED ONLINE RESOURCES 

 The University of Victoria's English Language Centre (ELC) 

Located in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada, this site offers a unique opportunity for international students to improve their English for work, travel, or further study; experience West Coast Canadian culture; and make new friends... For more than 30 years, they have provided outstanding language immersion opportunities for students from all over the world. Recognized internationally, our programs combine the best in classroom instruction, English as a Second Language technology, and exciting cultural activities. For their online material  click here .

[NOT: Bu tanıtımlardan herhangi bir maddi menfaatim bulunmamaktadır]

* * * * *

   
   
CLEAN JOKES OF THE DAY
THE DUMB AND THE DEAF

Harold the Dumb and Deaf David are out in the woods
hunting, when David falls to the ground. He doesn't seem
to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

Aptal Harold ile Sağır David... his eyes...etc = gözbebekleri geriye kaymış...

Harold whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps
to the operator, "My friend looks like he's dead! What
can I do?"

whips out = hızla çıkarır... gasps = zorlukla, kesik kesik veya zorla nefes alıyormuş gibi...

The police operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just
take it easy. I can help...
...First, lets make sure he's dead."
...There is a silence, then a shot is heard...
...Harold then says, "OK, now what...?"

calm = sakin... soothing = sakinleştiren, rahatlatan... Önce, öldüğünden emin olalım... Bir silah sesi işitilir... "OK, now what?" = Tamam, şimdi ne yapacağım?

CLEVER TACTICS

A man was riding in a taxi when he realized he had left his wallet at home. Suddenly he had an idea. About a block away from his destination, he said to the driver, "Stop at this hardware store and wait for me. I need to buy a flashlight so I can look for the hundred dollar bill that I dropped back here." When the man came out of the hardware store, the taxi was gone.

realized = farketti, kafasına dank etti... wallet = cüzdan... destination = gideceği yer... hardware store = hırdavatçı... flashlight = el feneri...

IN THE ASYLUM

Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted: "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said: "How do you know?" The first inmate said: "God told me!"
A voice from another room shouted: "I did NOT!"

insane asylum = mental asylum = akıl hastalıkları hastanesi, tımarhane... asylum = sığınılacak yer (zaten burası da insanların dışardaki zırdelilerin şerrinden kaçıp sığındıkları yer değil mi!)... political asylum =siyasi sığınma...

WE CAN GO SHARES ON THIS

A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk. He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud, this is my car!"

break down = bozulmak... mental breakdown = ağır depresyon... fiddle = orasını burasını kurcalamak... hood = otomobilin motor bölmesi, kaputun altı... thumping sounds = bang güm tak tuk sesleri... taking stuff out of = eşyaları çıkarıp alıyor... trunk = arabanın bagajı... to yell = bağırmak...

"Okay," the man says, "You take the front and I'll take the back."

Tamam, abicim, sen ön tarafı al, ben de arkayı hallederim...

 
DIRTY JOKE OF THE DAY
MARTIANS' SEX LIFE

The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars. Here, they meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things.

Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, laptop computers, how do they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.

stock market = borsa... brings up ...etc = konusunu açar, ortaya atar...

"Just how do you two do it?" asks Maureen.

"Pretty much the way you do." the Martian responds.

A discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap for the night and experience one another's styles!

to ensue = takip etmek, izlemek... to swap = değiş tokuş etmek, burada eş değiştirmek...

Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the male strips. He's got only a teeny, weenie... about half an inch long and a quarter inch think.

strips = soyunur... teeny, weeny = minicik... 

"I don't think this is going to work," says Maureen!

"Why?" he asks, "What's the matter?"

"Well," she replies, "It's just not long enough to reach me!"

"No problem," he says, and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm.

to proceed + fiil (mastar) = o eylemi yapmağa başlamak, o eyleme geçmek (alnını tokatlamağa başladı)... to slap = tokatlamak... forehead = alın... palm = elinin ayası, avuç içi...

With each slap of his forehead, his unit grows until it's quite impressively long.

"Well," she says, "that's quite impressive, but it is still narrow."

"No problem," he says, and starts pulling his ears. With each pull, his unit grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman!

"Wow!" she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made very mad, passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go on their separate ways. As they walk along, Mike asks, "Well, was it any good?"

go on their separate ways = herkes kendi yoluna gitti...

"I hate to say it," says Maureen, "but it was pretty wonderful! How about you?"

"It was horrible," he replies, "all I got was a headache... she kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears!"

keep + gerund = o eylemin sürekli tekrarlandığını anlatır: Bütün gece alnımı tokatlayıp kulaklarımı çekiştirdi...

 

 READING FOR FUN 

 PREGNANCY QUESTIONS & ANSWERS 

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

[move: 1) bebeğin hareket etmesi; 2) Üniversiteyi bitirdikten sonra çocuğun evden ayrılması]

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

[labour = doğum sancısı]

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

[delivery room = doğum odası... alimony = nafaka]

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

[diaper = çocuk bezi]

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Modified from several sources on the Net...

 

         

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