Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul

Hacettepe Üniversitesi eski öğr. üyesi

PRACTICAL ENGLISH FOR TURKS

A Free Bilingual Electronic Ezine

Issued Every Wednesday

August 21, 02 - 0039

Dearest Members, I get so "mentally exhausted" by the time I finish with this ezine each and every week that it requires quite an heroic effort to hang on & put down a few editorial paragraphs. Believe you me, it is the hardest and most fearsome part of it all. Therefore, just bear with me this morning and allow me to speak about the first matter that comes to my mind... In fact, it is a bait par excellence; but you are the target. Don't you ever bite it!.. The Klez "worm" is a bit of sneaky computer code that arrives by email, probably from someone you know. At least it gives you a familiar name. It may carry a file-destroying virus in an attachment. Open it and it might even try to destroy your entire anti-virus software, let alone your highly-regarded, jealously protected wares archives...

It's the Klez worm... I get so much mail infected with this clever impersonator that I am now no less acquainted with it than I am with our perennial Turkish inflation rate... Though I rise from bed pretty early, no smart early bird would want to catch this particular worm. Though I profess to be an inveterate angler,  no one would hope to lure a single fish with it. Short of setting fire to your computer, you can only stop the Klez by updating your anti-virus software and not opening an attachment from anyone, unless you expect it. Well, I wish you virus-free days; may nothing bug or worm your peace; may all your worries go down the drain as the coming elections pull the plug on all our time-honoured political leeches... izbul
 

FOREIGN PRESS
SWIMSUITS FOR DEVOUT MUSLIMS HIT TURKISH BEACHES

NOT: Bu haftaki ilginç okuma parçası seçimimde, aşağıdaki yazıda sözü edilen Hafize Hn.'ın soyadının hiçbir etkisi yoktur...

from The Associated Press, August 17, 2002

İSTANBUL, Turkland (AP) -- Hafize Erdoğan, a devout Muslim, proudly sports her new blue swimsuit -- a full-body outfit that covers her arms down to her wrists, her legs to her ankles and even much of her head.

swimsuit = mayo... (DİKKAT: "suit": okunuşu /su:t/, yani uzun /u/ ile)... devout (di-vaut) = dindar... to sport = gösterişli şekilde giymek; giymiş, üzerinde olmak... outfit = aksesuarları ile birlikte giyim, giysi (Özellikle de belli bir amaç veya olay için giyilen)...to cover = kaplamak, örtmek... wrist (okunuşu: rist) = kol bileği... ankle = ayak bileği...

The 30-year-old mother of two said she bought the suit so she could swim with her family while also observing religious rules about modesty.

mother of two = iki çocuk annesi... to observe = (burada) kurallara "riayet" etmek... modesty = 1. alçakgönüllülük, tevazu; 2. (burada) giysi, davranış veya konuşmada kurallara uyma (dolayısıyla, "tesettür" kastediliyor)...

"I used to have to stand by and watch my family in the water," Erdoğan said at Kilyos Beach on the outskirts of İstanbul. "I would watch my kids like a cat looks at liver ... But now I can swim, too."

stand by = kenarda durmak... outskirts = dış mahalleler, varoşlar (ancak İngilizce'de bizdeki "varoş" nüanslarını aramayın)... watch like a cat looks at liver = Bildiğim kadarıyla, İngilizce'de böyle bir deyim yok: Türkçe'den çevirip, dile armağan etmişler... Ama sanki "a cat that looks at" yada "a cat looking at" olmalıydı. Bir de, biz "ciğer" deyince sanırım "akciğer" (lungs) kastediyoruz. Ne dersiniz?

Erdoğan is evidence of a growing trend in Turkland, where devoutly religious consumers are looking to combine their beliefs with Western pastimes.

pastime = hobi, hoşça zaman geçirten uğraş...

"Islamic circles have traditionally understood beaches as something sinful," said Murat Cemrek, who teaches sociology at Ankara's Bilkent University. "But Islamic circles have become modernized. They've got money. They want to go to the beach and keep their Islamic values."

sinful = günah (olan şey)... günahkar (insan) = sinner... Ben olsam, son tümceye bir "too" eklerdim...

Bathing suits are only part of Turkland's flourishing Islamic market. There are also Islamic camping sites, spas and beach resorts that segregate men and women. Caprice Hotel on the Aegean Sea coast, for example, advertises "a modern vacation complex ... where the sound of prayer is heard five times a day."

only part of = yalnızca bir bölümü ("only one part of" daha iyi oluırdu)... to flourish = hızla gelişmek, büyük canlılık göstermek... to segregate = (fiziki anlamda) ayırmak, ayrı yerlerde tutmak; burada "kaç göç"... sound of prayer = "ezan" kastediliyor... Otelin adı nasıl ama: Hotel Caprice...

Erdoğan's $25 bathing suit includes a headscarf, a long-armed top and full-length pants. It fits loosely so as not to show off the outlines of her body and is made of a synthetic material that dries quickly. It features a design that looks like denim dotted with yellow shooting stars.

scarf = "eşarp"... "başörtüsü" karşılığında "headscarf" kullanılıyor; çünkü "turban" deselerdi, Hint "türbanı" anlaşılacaktı... fits loosely = vücudu sarmıyor, vücuda oturmuyor... so as not to = ...mamak için... denim = bir cins pamuklu kumaş...

With all that fabric, the suits still aren't perfect for swimming. "Water gets inside and it sticks to you," Erdoğan said. "But I don't have any other choice."

fabrik = kumaş...

In the past, religious women in Turkland either didn't go to the beach or wore regular street clothing into the water. Most women at beaches in secular Turkland wear Western-style bathing suits.

The top company producing Islamic bathing suits, Haşema, says it sold 25,000 bathing suits last year and can't produce them quick enough to keep pace with demand. The company exports to Egypt, North America, England, and Australia.

to keep pace with = ayak uydurmak, aynı hızda yol almak, geri kalmamak... supply & demand = arz ve talep...

Mehmet Şahin said he founded Haşema (pronounced Ha-shay-ma), because of his own problems on the beach as a university student.

Thirteen years ago, there was no company that made men's swimming trunks that extended from the bellybutton to the knees according to Islamic precepts, Şahin said.

bellybutton = göbek... precept = kural, ilke, amir hüküm...

"We used to have to cut off long pants. But we didn't find that very aesthetic," the bearded businessman said. "We developed the company according to our own needs ... but we found a place in the market."

bearded = sakallı...

The company expanded to include women's suits, now the company's top seller. Haşema's glossy catalogue shows more than a half-dozen different colours and floral patterns.

glossy = parıltılı, (belki de ucuz ve zevksiz ama) şaşaalı... floral patterns = çiçekli desenler...

Şükür Dölek, who sells the suits in Ankara, Turkland's capital, said his customers are well-off and religious. Most are professionals or university students. "Demand for the suits keeps growing. We can't keep enough in stock," Dölek said.

well-off and religious = varlıklı ve dindar...

Dölek said some of his customers are secular Turkish women, who apparently take off the removable Islamic headscarves and wear the suits because they're embarrassed to show their bodies on the beach.

secular = laik... (Helal olsun walla -- yabancı muhabirlere de öğretmişiz bizi dindarlar ve laikler diye bölmeyi!!...) apparently = "öyle anlaşılıyor ki" yada "görünüşe bakılırsa, görüldüğü kadarıyla" şeklinde çeviriniz... removable = takılıp çıkarılabilir...

to be embarrassed = utanmak, zor durumda kalmak... (Burada, muhtemelen vücut hatlarının şekilsizliğini saklamak isteyen "laik" hanımların da bu "mayo" lardan satın aldıkları, ama başörtüsü kısmını takmadıkları anlatılıyor)

[Cont. at the bottom of the right handside column]

 

GLOBALIZATION & THE NATION STATE
WHERE DO WE STAND NOW?
AN OVERVIEW -- 5

DİKKAT: Bu metnin geliştirilmiş yeni baskısı için,

 TIKLAYINIZ

The motto after the World War II was "peace and stability cannot be separated."

motto = ana ilke, yol gösteren düstur... Örneğin Hürriyet Gazetesinin "motto" su: "Türkiye Türklerindir"... Bir zamanlar ne kadar yalın ve tartışmasızdı gerçekler...

We know that the remedy for reducing poverty and bringing about prosperity is sustainable development.

remedy (re-mıdi) = çare, deva... prosperity (pros-pe-riti) = refah... prosperous = "müreffeh"... to prosper = zenginlemek, işleri "tıkırında" olmak... sustainable = "sürdürülebilir"...

The suitable environment for eliminating poverty should be created both at national and global levels.

poverty = fakirlik; DİKKAT: Bu sözcüğün "poor" sözcüğünden geldiğine ve /v/ ile okunup yazıldığına dikkat ediniz...

At the national level, protectionism will come to an end as the market economy takes hold.

protectionism = korumacılık, yerli üretimi korumak bahanesiyle yurttaşlara niteliksiz ürünleri pahalıya kakalatmak felsefesi...

The period of resource wasting through industrial subsidizations behind tariffs is over.

resource wasting = kaynak israfı... subsidization = sübvansiyon yapma... tariffs = gümrük ve ithalat vergileri...

*  *  *  *  *

What Should Nation States Do in the Face of Globalization?

Primary things that a nation state should do are:

1. Making the private sector the engine of economic growth.

Özel sektörü ekonomik büyümenin lokomotifi ("motoru" değil) yapmak

2. Keeping inflation rate low.

rate = Türkçe'ye, biliyorsunuz, anlamın gelişine göre, 1. oran; 2. hız, şeklinde çevriliyor...

3. Attaining price stability.

to attain = elde etmek, ulaşmak... Burada, "Fiat istikrarının sağlanması"...

4. Reducing state bureaucracy.

Bizde "bürokrasi" deyince akla zaten devlet geldiği için, "state bureaucracy" deyimi tuhaf geliyor...

5. Running a budget that is in equilibrium, even if a surplus is not generated.

to run a machine = makineyi işletmek... to run a shop = dükkancılık yapmak... to run a university = üniversite yönetmek... to run a country = ülkeyi çekip çevirmek, yönetmek...

in equilibrium = dengede... surplus = artı ürün...

6. Getting rid of quotas and local monopolies.

monopoly = tekel...

7. Increasing exports.

8. Privatization of public owned industries and public economic institutions.

privatization = özelleştirme... public economic institutions = "kamu iktisadi teşekkülleri" kastediliyor...

9. Liberalization of capital markets.

capital markets = sermaye piyasaları...

10. Making the currency convertible.

currency = para... national currency = milli para, ülkenin parası... foreign currency = döviz...

11. Eliminating state enterprises in the economy in order to increase domestic competition as much as possible.

state enterprises = devlet teşebbüsleri... domestic = yurtiçi... competition = rekabet...

12. Reducing public malpractice, subsidies and bribery as much as we can.

public malpractice = kamu görevini kötüye kullanma... subsidies = sübvansiyonlar... bribery = rüşvet (alıp verme eylemi)... bribe = rüşvet (alınan verilen şey)... briber = rüşvetçi...

13. Opening up banking and telecommunication systems for competition and private ownership.

Bankacılık ve iletişim sistemlerinin rekabete ve özel mülkiyete açılması...

[To Be Continued in Our Next Issue]

[Cont. from the left column]

"Bathing suits don't have a religion," Dölek said. "Just like some women want to wear bikinis, others want to wear Haşema ... whatever the reasons may be."

"Bathing suits don't have a religion" -- Paranın dini olmaz diye bilirdik, meğer mayoların da öyleymiş...

The company, meanwhile, is still working on new products for eager beachgoers. "We're even trying to develop a suit that the sun can penetrate, so women can get a suntan," Şahin said.

eager = istekli, hevesli... to penetrate = nüfuz etmek, içine işlemek... suntan = güneşten bronzlaşma...

*  *  *  *  *

 
 
 

 

 CHUNKS OF WISDOM OR DROPLETS OF BANALITY ? 

 ON HISTORY AND HISTORIANS 

"History is an agreed-upon set of lies."

Napoleon Bonaparte

History doesn't repeat itself. Historians repeat each other.

God didn't want to alter history, so he created historians.

to alter = to change

History repeats itself, first as a tragedy, then as a farce.

farce = fars, kaba komedy, maskaralık

History never repeats itself. At best it sometimes rhymes.

to rhyme = uyak tutmak, kafiyeli olmak

History is the science of what never happens twice.

We learn from history that we do not learn from history.

Tarihten, tarihten ders almadığımızı öğreniriz...

History will repeat itself as long as no one listens to it.

*  *  *  *  *

And. These Are The Funny Ones:

A person can be lousy at history, but great on dates.

lousy = çok kötü, başarısız ("bitli!"); date = 1. tarih (günün, olayın vb. tarihi); 2. buluşmak için randevu (iş randevusu için = appointment): Dolayısıyla, sözcük oyunu: Bir kimse tarih konusunda çok zayıf, ama randevularında harika olabilir...

Cheapest way to trace your family history -- run for public office.

Aile tarihçenin izini sürmek istiyorsan, siyasette aday ol; bedavaya gelecektir...

Every time history repeats itself the prices goes up.

Her nezaman tarih tekerrür etse, hep fiatlar yükseliyor.

Don't touch it! It's the history eraser button you fool!

(Bilgisayar şakası)

He is so old that he doesn't have to learn history. He remembers it!

(This one describes the typical Turkish politician in our day -- a strange breed who never learns from experience !!)

*  *  *  *  *

The Truth of the Matter Is --

The past is history, The future is a mystery and now is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

A.A Simmons

*  *  *  *  *

  OR, AS Mr. SPOCK WOULD PUT IT  

"It is a rather barbaric period in your... history."

 

 

 

 
   

 

 HOW ABOUT SOME BRAIN TEASERS ?! 

The elections are drawing near... Lists of candidates will be finalized and declared by September 11th... You, too, should have a fair chance -- if you can solve these "brain teasers" and attract the Ecevits' attention... Remember the case of Emrehan Halıcı, MP -- one time chess champion (and himself a writer of brain teasers) who got catapulted into political ascendancy under the wings of the White Dove !!

Incidentally, better luck for ChebinKaraHisarians next time -- Though your Elder Sister the great Matriarch and her compliant hubby did all their best, we obviously need more people of Mr. Halıcı's calibre in the National Assembly...


- 1 -

    A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

condemned to death = ölüme mahkum... raging fires = bütün şiddetiyle sürmekte olan yangın... assassin = katil, süikastçı...

- 2 -

A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?

hang - hanged - hanged = adam asmak, idam etmek... hang - hung - hung = duvara resimden, ipe çamaşıra kadar hertürlü "asmak"...

- 3 -

    There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

jug = testi, sürahi... barrel = fıçı...

- 4 -

    What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and grey when you throw it away?

grey (veya, gray) = gri...

- 5 -

    Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

consecutive = ardışık, ardarda gelen...

- 6 -

    This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

am curious = merak ediyorum (endişe yok, sadece bilmek istiyorum)... plain = (burada) sıradan, alelade... ("süssüz püssüz, yalınkat" kavramından)... odd = tuhaf, garip, acaip... work at it = üstünde çalışmak...

ANSWERS

1. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead... 2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry... 3. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug... 4. The answer is Charcoal... 5. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!... 6. The letter "e", which is the most common letter in the English language, does not appear once in the long paragraph.

 
 
 
EXERCISE
 
ÖNEMLİ NOT: Burada Sunduğum Test, Yeni Kitabımın Ad-Fiiller (Gerund'lar) Bölümünden Alınmış Olup, Kişisel Yararlanmanız İçindir. Elektronik Ortamda Olsun Yada Olmasın Hertürlü Çoğaltma ve Dağıtım Hakları Saklıdır.

 

Tümceleri Türkçeye Çeviriniz:

1) I am looking forward to hearing from you again.

2) The boy eventually left off biting his fingers, but then he took to picking up his nose.

3) Don't keep putting off making up your mind until it's probably too late for us all. You can't avoid coming face to face with the facts indefinitely.

4) I'm afraid they don't seem to be greatly interested in learning a foreign language.

5) You may have become quite acclimatized by now and even accustomed to living in such a place, but I just can't imagine myself getting used to sharing a life with you here under the circumstances.

6) I must admit that he's very good at telling lies. How else could he have managed to this very day to delay your learning that he was fined for being drunk in charge of a car?

7) "I'm sorry, I guess it was me who asked you if you'd fancy going to the movies. But, wouldn't you feel like going for a walk now instead?" "Oh, never mind; I'm quite used to waiting in long queues."

8) There're barbed wires everywhere. It's like being in a prison camp.

9) He went on talking about his life in the army for another half an hour. He then went on to talk about his experiences in the war. (go on + gerund = sürdürmek, devam ettirmek; go on + mastar = başka birşey yapmaya geçmek)

10) He began his lecture by showing us where the island was and went on to tell us about its climate.

 

YANITLAR

1) Mektubunuzu dört gözle bekliyorum. (Sizden yeniden işitmeyi, haber almayı özlemle bekliyorum)

2) Çocuk sonunda tırnaklarını yemeyi bıraktı, ama daha sonraları burnunu karıştırmağa başladı.

3) Belki de hepimiz için iş işten geçmiş oluncaya değin karar vermeyi erteleyip durma. Gerçeklerle yüzyüze gelmekten sonsuza değin kaçınamazsın.

4) Korkarım bir yabancı dil öğrenmeye pek fazla hevesli görünmüyorlar.

5) Sen şimdiye değin iklime uyarlanmış, hatta böyle bir yerde yaşamaya alışmış bile olabilirsin, ama ben kendimi burada bu koşullar altında seninle bir yaşam paylaşmağa alışıyor düşünemiyorum.

 6) Yalan söylemekte çok usta olduğunu itiraf etmeliyim. İçkili araba kullandığı için para cezasına çarptırılmış olduğunu öğrenmeni ta bugüne değin başka nasıl geciktirebilirdi ki...

7) "Sanırım sinemaya gitmek isteyip istemediğini soran bendim, özür dilerim... Ama, onun yerine yürüyüşe çıkmak istemez misin şimdi?" "Boşver aldırma... Kuyruklarda beklemeğe alışkınım ben."

8) Heryerde dikenli teller var: mahkumlar kampında olmak gibi birşey. (= olmağa benziyor)

9) Yarım saat daha ordudaki hayatını anlatmayı sürdürdü. Sonra savaştaki deneyimlerini anlatmağa geçti.

10) Adanın nerede olduğunu bize göstererek dersine (konferansına) başladı ve sonra iklimini anlatmağa geçti.

ÖNEMLİ NOT:

Burada Sunduğum Test, Yeni Kitabımın Ad-Fiiller (Gerund'lar) Bölümünden Alınmış Olup, Kişisel Yararlanmanız İçindir. Elektronik Ortamda Olsun Yada Olmasın Hertürlü Çoğaltma ve Dağıtım Hakları Saklıdır.)

 
   

THIS WEEK'S CARTOON

TARİHSEL ANIT !!

Bu alanda henüz büyük bir meydan muharebesi yaşanmamıştır, ama bilinmez ki...

   
 
   
CLEAN JOKES OF THE DAY
ULTIMATE MEDICAL AUTHORITY

A business executive injured his leg skiing one weekend. By the time he got home Sunday, the leg was very swollen and he was having difficulty walking, so he called his physician at his home. The doctor told him to soak it in hot water. He tried soaking it in hot water but the leg became more swollen and more painful.

swollen = şişik, şişmiş... to soak = suya batırmak veya bastırmak (çamaşır, gibi); tamamen ıslatmak...

His maid saw him limping and said, "I don't know, I'm only a maid, but I always thought it was better to use cold water, not hot, for swelling." He tried switching to cold water, and the swelling rapidly subsided.

maid = hizmetçi (kız)... to limp = aksak yürümek, topallamak... To swell = şişmek... swelling = şişme (ad)... swollen = şişmiş, şişik (yukarda geçti -- sıfat)... to subside = become less...

On Monday morning he called his Dr. again to complain. "Say Doc, what kind of a doctor are you anyway? You told me to soak my leg in hot water and it got worse. My maid told me to use cold water and it got better."

"Really?" answered the doctor, "I don't understand it - my maid said hot water."

Son tümcede hangi sözcüğü vurgulamanız gerekiyor? Tabii ki: my...

*  *  *  *  *

CHARACTERS

My kids love going on the internet and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on sticky notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and so I asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."

character = 1. karakter, şahıs, canlandırma, rol kalıbı; 2. Yazıda kullanılan işaretlerden herbiri, harf... (Ve, Allah Aşkına, bu sözcüğü Türkçe'de "karekter", yani "e" ile yazanları dövün...)

*  *  *  *  *

JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS

just one of those days = öylesine, sıradan, herzamanki gibi, tipik bir gün işte...

A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on her rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash and the receiver came off the hook. As it fell, it hit the family dog, who leaped up, howling and barking. The woman's three-year-old son, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams. The woman mumbled some colourful words.

tripped on her rug = kilime ayağı takıldı, sendeledi veya düştü... grabbed for something = birşeylere tutunmağa ("yakalamak") çalıştı... to seize (si:z, okuyunuz) yakalamak, zaptetmek, ele geçirmek... to leap = sıçramak, hoplamak... to howl = acıyla bağırmak, ulumak... to bark = havlamak... to be startled = korku ve şaşkınlıkla irkilmek, sıçramak... to mumble = mırıldanmak, kendi kendine söylenmek... colourful words = küfür sözcükleri...

She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband's voice on the other end saying, "Nobody's said hello yet, but I'm positive I have the right number."

to pick up the receiver = ahizeyi kaldırmak... I'm positive that... = Eminim ki...

 
NAUGHTY JOKES OF THE DAY
BALLOONS

A kid was taking a shower with his mom and asks, "what are those things on your chest?" Not wanting to answer she changed the subject.

The next day the boy went up to his dad and asked "What are those things on Mommy's chest?" he replied "They are balloons so when Mommy dies they will inflate and she will float to heaven.

to inflate = şişmek... (inflation = fiatların şişmesi)... to float = suyun üstünde kalmak, o anlamda "yüzmek", batmamak; (burada: havada "yüzmek", süzülmek (muhtemelen yükselerek)... heaven = cennet...

A couple weeks later the father comes home early and his son runs out and says "Daddy, Daddy, Mom is dying" the father ask "what are you talking about?" "Well, Uncle Harry is blowing up her balloons and she's yelling 'Oh God I'm coming'"

blowing up = üfleyerek şişiriyor...

*  *  *  *  *

THE 25-INCH COCK

There was this guy that couldn't get laid because he had a 25-inch dick. So one day he decides he's going to get it shortened. He goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, listen, you gotta help me. No chicks'll sleep with me 'cause I have a 25-inch dick!"

couldn't get laid = yatacak kadın bulamıyordu... dick = cock = erkeklik aleti... gotta = have to = zorundasın... 'cause = because...

After a few minutes intense examination the doctor delivers the bad news. "Look man, I'm sorry but this dick is so damn huge I can't possibly reduce it."

intense = yoğun... Look, man = Bak, adamım...

"However," the good doctor continues, "I CAN give you the location of a witch that lives in the woods nearby that can help you out."

witch = cadı... woods = ormanlık, koruluk... help smb out = kurtarmak, kurtulmasına yardımcı olmak...

So off the guy goes into the woods and he finds the witch. "This is what I want you to do," she says. "Go a little further into the woods and you'll come to a pond. There'll be a frog there that can talk. Every time you ask the frog to marry you and he says no, your dick will decrease by five inches."

off he goes = yola koyulur (renkli, vurgulu anlatım)... pond = su birikintisi, gölcük... to decrease = azalmak (tersi: increase)...

Off he goes again, into the woods until he comes across a pond and sees the frog. "Froggy," he yells, "will you marry me?" The frog rolls his eyes and yells "NO!" The man looks at his cock and sees that it has decreased to 20 inches. Again, the man yells to the frog, "Froggy, will you marry me?" The frog rolls his eyes and goes "NO!"

Froggy! = Sevimli Kurbağacık!... rolls his eyes = gözlerini döndüre döndüre... to yell = bağırmak, çığlık atmak... Bir aşağı paragrafta: to figure = hesaplamak, çıkarsamak, düşünmek...

Now his dick is down to 15 inches, and he figures 10 is ideal. So once more he yells, "Froggy, will you marry me?" The frog looks up one last time and says:

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?

NO!  NO!  NO!

 
 
 
 READING FOR FUN 

    CHATTING UP A BIRD   

If you think you are the most irresistable he-man around (as most men do), but notice that somehow very few women seem to realize this fact, your affectionate Uncle İzbul's advice will be that you sober up to the fact that nobody is Mr. Special. One possibility is that you're sending out wrong mating calls -- ones that do not chime the right tune... Change your style... But first, listen to some real-life dialogues...

*  *  *  *  *

He -- Where have you been all my life?

She -- Hiding from you, obviously...

He -- Haven't I seen you someplace before?

She -- Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

He -- So, what do you do for a living?

She -- I'm a female impersonator.

"Hayatınızı nasıl kazanıyorsunuz? İşinizi öğrenebilir miyim?" -- "Kadın taklidi yapıyorum!!"

He -- Hey baby, what's your sign?

She -- Do not enter.

"Burcunuz nedir?" (Sözcük oyunu ile yanıt veriliyor)

He -- How do you like your eggs in the morning?

She -- Unfertilized.

"Sabah yumurtalarını nasıl istersin?" -- "Döllenmemiş!!"

He -- Your body is like a temple.

She -- Sorry, there are no services today.

temple = tapınak... (Yine bir sözcük oyunu ile yanıt: service = 1. hizmet... 2. Kilisede ayin ve ibadet...)

He -- I would go to the end of the world for you.

She -- But would you stay there?

= Aman gitmişken, kal bari orada...

He -- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.

She -- If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

zalim... zalim...

He -- Where have you been all my life?

She -- Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

in your wildest dreams = en olmayacak rüyalarında... en uçuk kaçık düş ve hülyalarında... -- gerçekleşmesi olanaksız...

Modified/adapted from several sources over the 'Net... (Hernekadar etini internetten topluyorsam da, kemiğinden ayırıp, tuzunu biberini salçasını eklerken belli bir emek veriyorum. Alıntılarınızda kaynağınızı da anarsanız sevinirim...)

 

         

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