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CLEAN
JOKES OF THE DAY
A SUDDEN
CHANGE OF MIND
My Dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our
engagement. Simply devastated. Won't you please consider coming back to
me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never
marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive
me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so.
desolate = (de-sılit)
1. terkedilmiş, ıssız, boş, metruk; 2. perişan, harap... break off an
engagement = nişanı bozmak... to devastate = Harap ve viran etmek,
yakıp yıkmak, mahfetmek... devastated = bu durumda olan... HEY! Bu
paragraftaki aşki lafları iyi ezberleyin: Acil durumlarda kullanırsınız!!
Yours always and truly,
John
PS. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
state lottery =
national lottery = milli piyango...
*
* *
A FROG CALLS
A PSYCHIC
Recently, the
Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for
frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.
psychic = (say-kik)
gaipten haber veren; 6. his vb. gibi olağan dışı duyum/algı boyutları
olan... to launch = 1. başlatmak... 2. denize gemi indirmek... 3. uzaya füze
fırlatmak...
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to
meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about
you."
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or
what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology
class."
*
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GOOD NEWS -
BAD NEWS
Patient: (Regaining
consciousness after the operation) Why am I in here? Why am I in a
hospital?
regain
consciousness = ayılmak, kendine gelmek: "bilincini yeniden kazanmak"...
Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.
Patient: What happened?
Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you
like to hear first?
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of
them.
to amputate =
keserek gövdeden ayırmak...
Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?
Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your
slippers.
ward = hasta koğuşu...
*
* *
THE GREAT
ESCAPE
Prisoner:
Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids,
and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this
place!
Doctor: I am, bit by bit.
to
remove 0 (burada) kesip çıkarmak... spleen = dalak... tonsils =
bademcikler... adenoids = lenf bezleri...
*
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CAN DO IT
SLOWLY
Patient: How much
will I have to pay to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: $100.00.
Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?
Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.
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NAUGHTY
JOKES OF THE DAY
BULLFIGHT
BUFFET
A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a
nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day. The waiter brings him two very big balls on a huge plate, which the
tourist eats with relish.
balls =
"koç" yumurtası... with relish = iştahla, severek...
The next day he goes to the same restaurant again, once again orders
the specialty of the day, and he is brought two very big balls on a huge plate. It tastes even more
delicious.
huge =
okunuşu: hyuc = kocaman, çok büyük, çok iri, uçsuz bucaksız...
even more = daha da...
The third day he does the same and the fourth, but on the fifth day
he goes to the restaurant and orders the specialty of the day, and they bring him two very small balls on a big plate. The man
asks, "What gives?"
And the waiter says, "Senor, the bullfighter doesn't always
win!"
What
gives? = (USA) Ne oluyor? Ne oldu? Ne değişti?
*
* *
REASONABLE
EXPLANATION
The farmer's wife went into
labour in the middle of
the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a
lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what
I'm doing."
father-to-be
= müstakbel baba... hold this high = yukarda, yüksekte tut... so =
so that...
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there",
said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern
down...I think there's yet another one to come." Sure enough,
within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.
"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that
lantern... It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the
doctor. The man scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the
doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attractin' em?"
went into
labour = doğum sancısı tuttu... delivery = doğum... lantern =
fener, gemici feneri... scratched his head = kafasını kaşıdı...
bewilderment = hayret ve şaşkınlık...
*
* *
THE
COMPROMISE
Some newly
married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up.
The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband
said two would be enough for him.
They discussed this discrepancy
for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to
things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just
have a vasectomy."
Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I
hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own."
discrepancy
= uyumsuzluk, çelişki... boldly = cesurca, cesurane... to retort =
yanıt vermek (çoğu zaman, daha önceki bir söze tepkili yanıt,
anlamında: Dikkatli kullanın)...
*
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WHERE
ARE YOUR TONSILS ?
A young boy
of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told
his playmate I'll be gone for awhile I have to have surgery.
On the day he was admitted his mother asked Dr. could you please
circumcise him while he is asleep. The Dr. agreed. The boy woke up
and was very sore down there for several days.
After about a week he got to see his playmate again. The playmate
informed him that he was also going to have to have his tonsils out
soon. He asked him to tell him about the surgery. The little boy
replied, "All I can tell you is your tonsils ain't where you
think they are."
to
circumcise = sünnet etmek... sore = acıyor, kızarık veya şiş...
down there = adını açıkça söylemek istediği için, "işte,
orada, oradaki" anlamında...
Son tümcenin
anlamı: Tüm söylşeyebileceğim şu ki, bademciklerin sandığın
yerde değil...
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