Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul

Hacettepe Üniversitesi eski öğr. üyesi

PRACTICAL ENGLISH FOR TURKS

A Free Bilingual Electronic Ezine

Special Edition 01

July 24, 02 - 0038

    Dearest Members, I've noticed, from our "stats" at Yahoo Groups, that very few people are actually reading the ezine nowadays, the obvious reason being that most people are away on holiday. So, I decided, it was time to issue "special editions" -- much shortened and wholly given over to fun -- for the next three weeks, and then take up from where we left last week.

    This is good opportunity for me to concentrate on and prepare a whole new set of language tests for our website. These will become more and more in demand as the exams season moves nearer. Well, whatever your idea of a great holiday is -- be it lounging at home or at the beach doing nothing; spending time with friends at your favourite hangouts; reading  long-neglected books in a secluded spot; writing, drawing, painting, doing anything that is regeneratively creative -- I wish you all the joy of your summer holidays. And, well, enjoy our special issue # 1, too... izbul

   

CLEAN JOKES OF THE DAY
A SUDDEN CHANGE OF MIND

My Dearest Susan,

Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won't you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so.

desolate = (de-sılit) 1. terkedilmiş, ıssız, boş, metruk; 2. perişan, harap... break off an engagement = nişanı bozmak... to devastate =  Harap ve viran etmek, yakıp yıkmak, mahfetmek... devastated = bu durumda olan... HEY! Bu paragraftaki aşki lafları iyi ezberleyin: Acil durumlarda kullanırsınız!!

Yours always and truly,
John

PS. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.

state lottery = national lottery = milli piyango...

*  *  *

A FROG CALLS A PSYCHIC

Recently, the Psychic Hotline and Psychic Friends Network have launched hotlines for frogs. Here is the story of one frog and his discussing with his psychic.

psychic = (say-kik) gaipten haber veren; 6. his vb. gibi olağan dışı duyum/algı boyutları olan... to launch = 1. başlatmak... 2. denize gemi indirmek... 3. uzaya füze fırlatmak...

A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."

The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"

"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class."

*  *  *

GOOD NEWS - BAD NEWS

Patient: (Regaining consciousness after the operation) Why am I in here? Why am I in a hospital?

regain consciousness = ayılmak, kendine gelmek: "bilincini yeniden kazanmak"...

Doctor: You've had an accident involving a bus.

Patient: What happened?

Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

Patient: Give me the bad news first.

Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.

to amputate = keserek gövdeden ayırmak...

Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?

Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers.

ward = hasta koğuşu...

*  *  *

THE GREAT ESCAPE

Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!

Doctor: I am, bit by bit.

to remove 0 (burada) kesip çıkarmak... spleen = dalak... tonsils = bademcikler... adenoids = lenf bezleri...

*  *  *

CAN DO IT SLOWLY

Patient: How much will I have to pay to have this tooth pulled?

Dentist: $100.00.

Patient: $100.00 for just a few minutes work?

Dentist: Well, I can extract it very slowly if you like.

 
NAUGHTY JOKES OF THE DAY
BULLFIGHT BUFFET

A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day. The waiter brings him two very big balls on a huge plate, which the tourist eats with relish.

balls = "koç" yumurtası... with relish = iştahla, severek...

The next day he goes to the same restaurant again, once again orders the specialty of the day, and he is brought two very big balls on a huge plate. It tastes even more delicious.

huge = okunuşu: hyuc = kocaman, çok büyük, çok iri, uçsuz bucaksız... even more = daha da...

The third day he does the same and the fourth, but on the fifth day he goes to the restaurant and orders the specialty of the day, and they bring him two very small balls on a big plate. The man asks, "What gives?"

And the waiter says, "Senor, the bullfighter doesn't always win!"

What gives? = (USA) Ne oluyor? Ne oldu? Ne değişti?

*  *  *

REASONABLE EXPLANATION

The farmer's wife went into labour in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing."

father-to-be = müstakbel baba... hold this high = yukarda, yüksekte tut... so = so that...

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there", said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down...I think there's yet another one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.

"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern... It seems there's yet another one in there!" cried the doctor. The man scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attractin' em?"

went into labour = doğum sancısı tuttu... delivery = doğum... lantern = fener, gemici feneri... scratched his head = kafasını kaşıdı... bewilderment = hayret ve şaşkınlık...

*  *  *

THE COMPROMISE

Some newly married friends were visiting us when the topic of children came up. The bride said she wanted three children, while the young husband said two would be enough for him.

They discussed this discrepancy for a few minutes until the husband thought he'd put an end to things by saying boldly, "After our second child, I'll just have a vasectomy."

Without a moment's hesitation, the bride retorted, "Well, I hope you'll love the third one as if it's your own."

discrepancy = uyumsuzluk, çelişki... boldly = cesurca, cesurane... to retort = yanıt vermek (çoğu zaman, daha önceki bir söze tepkili yanıt, anlamında: Dikkatli kullanın)...

*  *  *

WHERE ARE YOUR TONSILS ?

A young boy of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmate I'll be gone for awhile I have to have surgery.

On the day he was admitted his mother asked Dr. could you please circumcise him while he is asleep. The Dr. agreed. The boy woke up and was very sore down there for several days.

After about a week he got to see his playmate again. The playmate informed him that he was also going to have to have his tonsils out soon. He asked him to tell him about the surgery. The little boy replied, "All I can tell you is your tonsils ain't where you think they are."

to circumcise = sünnet etmek... sore = acıyor, kızarık veya şiş... down there = adını açıkça söylemek istediği için, "işte, orada, oradaki" anlamında...

Son tümcenin anlamı: Tüm söylşeyebileceğim şu ki, bademciklerin sandığın yerde değil...

*  *  *  *  *

   
 
 READING FOR FUN 

 MARRIAGE QUOTES 

    PART TWO   

Modified/adapted from several sources over the 'Net

Marriage ve carriage 'i, meriyic ve keriyic diye okumuyosunuz, di mi !! Doğrusu: -ric ve -ric. Daha sözcüğü bile doğru dürüst okuyamıyorsak, yanmışız arkadaş !!...

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you regret you hadn't ordered that. (to order = lokantada sipariş vermek... fellow = adam, kişi... to regret = pişman olmak, esef etmek...)

It's true that all men are born free and equal; but some of them get married afterwards! (free and equal = özgür ve eşit)

You never know what happiness is until you get married ...and then it is too late!

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce. (sole -- okunuşu: soul -- yegane, tek... divorce = boşanma...)

English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. (to prohibit = yasaklamak... İşte bizim gereksiz, işe yaramaz yasama anlayışımız da budur...)

A curse: May your wife be a bitch who takes after her mother, and may you all live together in a one-room house. (curse -- okunuşu: körs -- beddua, lanet... Ayrıca "küfür" anlamı da vardır... Dualar gibi, beddualar da genellikle "May..." şeklinde başlar... bitch = çaçaron, şirret... to take after smb = O kişiye çekmiş olmak...)

Another curse: May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a thing! (widow = dul bayan... Dul erkek = widower... Ancak bunlar, eşin ölüm yoluyla kaybedilmesi durumundadır. Boşanma durumunda, her iki taraf da "divorced" statüsündedir. Ama kadınlar ayrıca "divorcée", oysa erkekler yeniden "bachelor" olurlar. Eh, görüyorsunuz, kültürün erkekmerkezci olması yalnızca bize has değil...)

A POEM: WHY I DID IT

My darling wife was always glum

I drowned her in a cask of rum

And so made sure that she would stay

In better spirits night and day.

(glum = glummy = "broodingly morose" -- iyi İngilizce bilen arkadaşlar bu tanıma bayılacaklardır -- şiirdeki anlamı "sürekli suratsız, hiç gülmez"... to drown = boğmak... cask of rum = bir fıçı rom... to be in better spirits = keyfi yerinde olmak. spirits = 1. İnsanın havası, ruh hali; 2. alkollü içkiler...

Aslında, Türkçe'deki "ispirtolu içkiler" şeklindeki garip deyimin kökü de burada olsa gerek. "Uçucu, alkol" anlamındaki "spirit" sözcüğünü bizimkiler "ispirto" diye çevirip, sonra da etil alkollü içkilere aslında metil alkol karıştırdıklarını güzel güzel itiraf ediyorlar... Üstelik millete metil dayadıklarının bir kanıtı daha var. Biliyorsunuz, metil alkol insanı kör eder! Seçtiklerimize bir baksanıza!!

ONE FINAL RECOMMENDATION

Always talk to your wife while you're making love... if there's a phone handy. (handy = el altında, yakınlarda, kolay ulaşılabilecek yerde)

 I PROMISE THAT WE SHALL HAVE A LOOK OVER THIS WHOLE MATTER FROM THE LADIES' VIEWPOINT -- NEXT WEEK !! 

 

   

         

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