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ENCOUNTERS WITH
THE THIRD KIND
Two aliens
landed in the West Texas desert near an abandoned gas station. They
approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it,
"Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."
encounter = karşılaşma...
alien /EY-liın/ =
yabancı, eşi benzeri görülmemiş; kurgubilimde: yaratık...
abandoned =
terkedilmiş... gas (=
gasoline, USA) = petrol (UK) = benzin... [oil = petrol, her iki ülkede
de]... Greetings, Earthling!
= Selam, Dünyalı! (Kurgubilimde standart kullanımdır. Küçümseme
nüansları artık az çok kaybolmuştur diyebiliriz.)
The gas pump, of
course, didn't respond. The alien repeated the greeting. There was no
response. The alien, annoyed by what he perceived to be the gas pump's
haughty attitude, drew his ray gun, and said impatiently, "Greetings,
Earthling. We come in peace. How dare you ignore us in this way! Take us
to your leader, or I'll fire!"
didn't respond = yanıt
vermedi, tepki vermedi...
annoyed = canı sıkılarak (öfke ve şikayet anlamında)...
to perceive =
algılamak... haughty [HO-ti]
= kibirli, kendini beğenmiş...
ray gun = ışın tabancası...
How dare you? = Sen ne
cesaretle??... to ignore
= görmezden gelmek, tınmamak, kulak asmamak...
The other alien
shouted to his comrade "No, you don't want to make him mad!" But before
he finished his warning, the first alien fired. There was a huge
explosion that blew both of them 200 meters into the desert, where they
landed in a heap.
comrade = dost, yoldaş...
make him mad =
öfkelendirmek... in a heap
= yığın halinde...
When they
finally regained consciousness, the one who fired turned to the other
one and said, "What a ferocious creature. It damn near killed us! How
did you know it was so dangerous?"
regain consciousness =
kendine gelmek, ayılmak (baygınlıktan ayılmak... Sarhoşluktan ayılmak
için "to sober" fiilini kullanınız)...
ferocious [fı-ROU-şıs]
= vahşi, yırtıcı, kavgacı...
The other alien
answered, "If there's one thing I've learned during my travels through
the galaxy... any guy who can wrap his dick around himself twice and
then stick it in his own ear, is someone you shouldn't mess with!"
to wrap = sarıp
sarmalamak... dick (argo
ve kaba) = erkeklik aleti...
stick it in his own ear = (burada) kendi kulağına sokmak...
you shouldn't mess with =
bulaşmamalısın, uzak durmalısın...
THE LABOUR
MACHINE
A married couple
went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival,
the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a
portion of the mother's labour pain to the father and asked if they were
willing to try it out.
to deliver a baby =
doğurmak/doğurtmak... a portion
of = bir bölümü... labour
pain = doğum sancısı...
try sth out = denemek...
They were both
very much in favour of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for
starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the
father had ever experienced before.
to be in favour of =
lehinde olmak... (Tersi: to be against)...
for starters = başlangıç
için... was probably more...etc
= (erkeklere taş atıyor): doğum sancısının %10'u bile erkeklerin
bilmediği bir sancıdır...
But as the
labour progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go
ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to
20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
as = -ıkça, -ikçe...
progress = ilerlemek...
go ahead = devam et, hadi
başla... kick it up a notch
= bir çentik yukarı çıkart... to
adjust = ayarlamak, düzenlemek...
still feeling fine = hala
kendini iyi hissediyordu...
The doctor
checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was
doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued
to feel quite well.
checked ... blood pressure
= tansiyonunu (kan basıncını) ölçtü...
was amazed = şaşırıp
kalmıştı...
Since the pain
transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband
encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
since = because...
obviously = besbelli,
açıkça... considerably =
büyük ölçüde, önemli ölçüde, dikkate değer derecede...
to encourage = teşvik
etmek, yüreklendirmek, cesaret vermek...
The wife
delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband
were ecstatic.
virtually = almost =
neredeyse, hemen hemen... with
no pain = ağrısız...
When they got
home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
mailman (USA) = postman
(UK) = postacı... porch =
ön kapı girişi, sundurma, veranda...
THE BANK
PRESIDENT'S BALLS !!
A little old
lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She
insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a
savings account because, "It's a lot of money!"
The bank
president asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied,
"$165,000!" and threw the cash out of her bag onto his desk.
The president
was of course curious as to the source of all this cash, so he asked
her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where
did you get this money?"
The old lady
replied, "I make bets."
The president
then asked, 'Bets? What kind of bets? "
The old woman
said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are
square."
bet = bahis...
balls = (argo)
taş*klar...
"Ha!" laughed
the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of
bet!"
The old lady
challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?"
"Sure," said the
president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"
The little old
lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I
bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00AM as a witness?"
"Sure!" replied
the confident president.
there is a lot of money involved
= işin içinde çok para var... witness = tanık...
The next
morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her
lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the
president and asked him to drop his pants so they could all see.
drop his pants =
pantolonunu indirmek... (UK: külot)...
The president
complied. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked
if she could feel them."
complied = dedikleri gibi
yaptı... peered closely =
gözleriyle yakından inceledi...
feel = (burada) ellemek, elleriyle dokunmak...
Well, Okay,"
said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be
absolutely sure."
Just then, he
noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall.
The president asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your
lawyer?"
She replied,
"Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today, I'd have The
Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."
banging his head against the
wall = kafasını duvara vuruyordu... "bet" fiilinin past ve past
participle biçimlerinin de aynı olduğuna dikkat ediniz...
Yabancı XXX
Fıkra:
Türkçe Açıklamalı
İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's
Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,
Doç.
Dr.
Yalçın
İzbul,
"Practical
English
For
Turks"
Copyrighted
2001-2008
TEACHING POLITICS
A teacher was
teaching her second grade class about the government, so for homework
that one day, she told her students to ask their parents what the
government is. When Little Johnny got home that day, he went up to his
dad and ask his what the government was.
His dad thought
for a while and answered, ''Look at it this way: I'm the president, your
mom is Congress, your maid is the work force, you are the people and
your baby brother is the future.''
Look at it this way. =
Meseleye şöyle bak:... maid
= hizmetçi kız...
''I still don't
get it'' responded the Little Johnny.'' Why don't you sleep on it then?
Maybe you'll understand it better,'' said the dad.
I still don't get it. =
Halâ anlamıyorum... sleep on it
= yarına bırak...
''Okay
then...good night,'' said Little Johnny and went off to bed. In the
middle of the night, Little Johnny was awakened by his baby brother's
crying. He went to his baby brother's crib and found that his baby
brother had taken a crap in his diaper. So Little Johnny went to his
parent's room to get help.
crib = beşik...
to take a crap = kakasını
yapmak... diaper = çocuk
bezi...
When he got to
his parent's bedroom, he looked through the keyhole to check if his
parents were asleep. Through the keyhole he saw his mom loudly snoring,
but his dad wasn't there. So he went to the maid's room. When he looked
through the maid's room keyhole, he saw his dad having sex with his
maid.
Little Johnny
was surprised, but then he just realized something and thinks aloud:
OH!! Now I
understand the government!
The President is
screwing the work force, Congress is fast asleep, nobody cares about the
people, and the future is full of shit!
WOW
!!
LASSY HAS THE
SOLUTION
A farmer went to
town to buy some goods. He stopped at the hardware store and bought a
pail and a hammer. He then went to the market and bought a live goose
and 2 chickens.
hardware store =
hırdavatçı... pail =
kova... goose = kaz
(çoğul: geese)...
He didn't know
how to carry everything but the shopkeeper suggested "put the goose in
the pail the hammer in one hand and hold each chicken under you arms. He
did this and started to walk home.
Soon he saw a
beautiful young lass with huge tits bulging out of a low cut dress. She
looked lost.
He asked "Lassy
can I help you, you look lost?"
She replied, "I
am, I'm looking for my Uncle Mr. Simms. The farmer said, "Why he's my
neighbor, follow me there."
lass, lassy /LÆ-si/
= genç kız... (lad /LÆD/
= delikanlı)... bulging out of a
low cut dress = düşük yakalı giysisinden dışarı fışkırıyor...
to bulge = şişkinlik
yapmak... She looked lost.
= Yolunu kaybetmiş görünüyordu...
So off they
went, he was getting tired so he suggested a short cut through an alley.
"Why sir, how do I know that you will not force me against the wall and
take me once we are alone in the alley?" "Now how can I do that? Don't
you see the goose, the hammer and chickens I carry?" he said.
off they went = yola
koyuldular... a short cut
= kestirme... alley =
arka sokak... how do I know
= nasıl bilebilirim? nereden bileceğim?...
force smb against the wall
= zorla duvara yaslamak... take
me = zorla sahip olmak...
She replied
"...well you can put the goose on the ground, the pail over the goose,
place the hammer on the pail and I'll hold the chickens!"
PLANNING A
VACATION
God is tired,
worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got
any suggestions where I should go?"
worn out = bitkin, takati
kalmamış (to wear = "aşınma" kavramından... Diğer anlamı = giymiş olmak,
üstünde olmak: wear - wore - worn...)
Got? = Have you got?...
St. Peter,
thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and
warm there this time of the year."
God shakes His
head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my
back."
nod one's head = (Genelde
evet anlamına) başını sallamak: tersi
to shake one's head =
Hayır anlamına başını sallamak...
gravity = yerçekimi...
hurts my back = sırtımı,
belimi ağrıtıyor...
"Hmmm," St.
Peter reflects. "Well, how about Mercury?" "No way!" God about screams.
"It's way too hot for me there!"
to reflect = to think, to
consider (diğer anlamı: yansıtmak)...
reflection = 1. düşünme;
2. yansıtma, yansıma... No way!
= Olmaz, Asla!... way too hot
= çok çok sıcak...
"I've got it,"
St. Peter says, his face lighting up. "How about going Down to Earth for
your vacation?"
Chuckling, God
remarks, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went There, had an
affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!"
I've got it! = Tamam
buldum!... his face lighting up
= "yüzü aydınlanarak", sevinçle, memnuniyetle, rahatlayarak...
to chuckle = kıkır kıkır
gülmek... Are you kidding?
= Şaka mı yapıyorsun? to have an
affair with smb = ilişki kurmak, ilişkisi olmak...
some = (burada tekil
anlamlı) bir, herhangi bir, belli, muayyen.
.SÜPER
İNGİLİZCE EĞİTİM SETİ.
KPDS
HAZIRLIK SETİ -- EN İYİSİ.
TIKLAYINIZ... Ayrı Pencere Açılacaktır
WHO HAS BEEN WITH SHIRLEY ?
"That wife
of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal
seated next to him in the bar.
sympathetic =
kendisine sempati duyan, duygularını paylaşıp, kendisini teselli
eden... pal /PÆLL/ = arkadaş...
"How do you
know?" the friend asked.
"She didn't
come home last night and when I asked her where she'd been, she said
she had spent the night with her sister, Shirley."
How do you know? =
Nereden biliyorsun?
"So?"
So? = Eee, n'olmuş
yani?..
"So she's a
liar. It was I who spent the night with her sister, Shirley."
So, she's a liar. =
Eee'si, yalancının biri işte!...
It was I who spent ...etc.
= Geceyi Shirley ile geçiren bendim...
HIS
HANDS WERE BUSY !!
Into a Dublin
pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train.
His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised
and he's walking with a limp.
Devrik
kuruluşa dikkat ediniz...
looking like ...etc. = üstünden tren geçmiş gibiydi...
in a sling = boynundan
askıya alınmış... cut and
bruised /BRU:ZD/= yara bere ve morartılar içinde...
walking with a limp =
topallıyordu...
"What happened
to you?" asks Sean, the bartender.
Sean = Bu isim /ŞOUN/
şeklinde okunur... bartender
= barmen...
"Jamie O'Conner
and me had a fight," says Paddy.
"That little
shit, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have
had something ta' hurt ya' with, something in his hand."
"That little shit, O'Conner"
= O'Conner denen o ufak tefek pislik herif...
ta' hurt ya' = to hurt
you (İrlanda ağzı)...
"That he did,"
says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me
with it."
That he did. = Yes, he
had something in his hand...
shovel = [ŞA-vıl] kürek, bahçe küreği...
a terrible lickin(g) =
müthiş bir dayak..
"Well," says
Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in
your hand?"
"That I did,"
said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but
useless in a fight."
That I did. = Yes, I had
something in my hand... Evet, elimde birşey vardı, ama...
THE PHARMACIST'S
DAUGHTER
A girl asks her
boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner,
she would like to have sex with him for the first time.
pharmacist (USA) = eczacı
[UK: chemist]...
to come over, to go over
= "over" sözcüğü anlam değişikliğine yol açmıyor; ama daha canlı
"idiomatic" bir kullanım ve "ziyaret" nüansı için daha uygun...
The boy is ecstatic, but he has
never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some
condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells
the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
ecstatic = zevkten mest,
"dörtköşe"...
At the register, the pharmacist
asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or
family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he
will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
at the register =
kasada... it being =
olduğu için... "because/since/as it is his..." yapısından kısaltılmış
zarf-cümlecik...
That night, when the boy shows up
at the girl's parents' house, she meets him at the door and says, "Oh,
I'm so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!"
to show up =
çıkagelmek... Bu ve daha sonra gelen "Come on in" şeklindeki idiomatik
kullanımların "mantığını" tartışmaktan çok, "Demek ki böyle bir durumda
bu deyim kullanılıyor" tavrını benimsemek çok daha yararlı olur...
The boy goes inside and is taken to
the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly
offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is
still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no
movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his
head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I
had no idea you were this religious."
to say grace = yemek
duasını yapmak... bows his head
= başını eğer... with his head
down = başı eğik vaziyette...
to lean over = ona doğru
eğilerek, uzanarak... to whisper
= fısıldamak... I had no idea
...etc = Bu derece dindar olduğun konusunda hiçbir fikrim
yoktu...
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a
pharmacist!"
whispers back =
fısıldayarak cevap verir.
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