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SURE TO BE
SACKED !!
Two weeks ago
was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning
anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say
"Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me.
wasn't feeling too hot =
(colloquial) pek havamda değildim...
anyway = zaten...
She didn't even
say Good Morning, let alone Happy Birthday.
I thought,
"Well, that's wives for you. Maybe the children will remember."
The children
came in to breakfast and didn't say a word.
When I started
to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into
my office, my secretary, Janet, said, "Good morning boss, Happy
Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered.
feeling low = çökkün
hissediyor... despondent
= ümitsiz, kederli...
I worked until
noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a
beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just
you and me."
I said, "By
George, that's the best thing I've heard all day. Let's go."
By George! = "Tanrı
adına!" yahut "Oh, be!" vb. türünden bir ünlem. Tabii, "Aziz George"
kastediliyor... Bütün ünlemler gibi, anlamını bağlam belirleyecektir...
We went to
lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country
to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch
tremendously.
On the way back
to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day. We don't
need to go back to the office, do we?"
I said, "No, I
guess not."
She said, "Let's
go to my apartment."
After arriving
at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go
into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."
slip into something more
comfortable = üstüme daha rahat birşeyler giyeceğim...
"Sure," I
excitedly replied.
She went into
the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out carrying a big
birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends!
All were singing
"Happy Birthday" and there on the couch I sat... quite naked.
Ve bendeniz orada, kanapede oturmaktaydım... çırılçıplak !!
LOOKING FOR A
MAN
The local
classified ads columns read: "Rich widow looking for a man to share life
and fortune with the following qualifications:
1.
Won't beat me up...
2.
Won't run away...
3.
Has to be great in bed...
read = yazıyordu ["diye
okunuyordu" kavramından]... rich
widow = zengin dul... to
share life and fortune = hayatımı ve servetimi paylaşacak...
following qualifications
= aşağıdaki nitelikler...
For several
months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing
constantly, she received tons of mail... all to no avail. None of the
men seemed to meet her qualifications.
rang off the hook =
durmadan çalıyordu ["ahize çengelinden düşüyordu" kavramından: eski
kancalı duvar telefonlarını gözünüzde canlandırınız. [Nitekim "to hang
up" deyimi de "telefonu kapatmak" anlamına gelmiyor mu? Yani, ahizeyi
yerine asmak]... to no avail
= hiçbir sonuç vermeksizin...
Then one day the
doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms
and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked, "Who are
you and what do you want?"
yet again = bir kez daha;
ve yine... mat /MÆT/
= kapı paspası... perplexed
= şaşırmış, akıl erdirememiş halde...
"Hi," said the
man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams. I've got no
arms, so I can't beat you up and I've got no legs, so I can't run away."
The old woman
asked, "What makes you think you're so great in bed?"
To which he
replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"
THE REVENGE
Joan, the town
gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, recently accused George, a
local man, of being an alcoholic, because she saw his pickup truck
parked outside the town's only bar.
kasabanın
dedikoducusu ve ahlak denetçisi...
pickup truck =
kaptıkaçtı...
George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening,
he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all
night.
Yabancı XXX
Fıkra:
Türkçe Açıklamalı
İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's
Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,
Doç.
Dr.
Yalçın
İzbul,
"Practical
English
For
Turks"
Copyrighted
2001-2008
NO MORE SECS !!
I called my
7-year old son to dinner last night, telling him that it was almost
ready.
"Just a sec," he answers.
just a sec = bir
saniyecik... (= second)
Five minutes passed, and "Dinner time," I called to him again...
"Just a sec," is again the answer...
"No more secs!!" I shouted, "I warned you a few minutes ago."
Silence, as he continued working on whatever project he was working on.
I reached over and took it away from him:
whatever project = her ne
proje ise... (Tabii burada bir "oyun projesi" kastediliyor...
"No more secs means NO MORE SECS !!!!"
ÇEVİRİSİ: "Saniye
maniye dinlemem demek, saniye maniye dinlemem demektir!"
As I spoke the words, I realized I sounded just like my wife.
I sounded just like... etc
= Tıpkı karım gibi konuşmuştum... Açıklaması: "no more secs": okunuşu
aynen "no more sex" gibi...
THE REVENGE
A man walks into
a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The salesgirl notices him
and asks him if she can help him.
aisles = (okunuşu: /AYLZ/)
koridor vb... Burada, "rafların arasında"...
wander up and down =
oraya buraya, aşağı yukarı dolanmak...
He answers that
he's looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the
correct aisle.
A few minutes
later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on
the counter.
cotton
= pamuk... a ball of string
= bir yumak ip/sicim... counter
= tezgah...
She says,
confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your
wife?
confused = kafası
karışmış...
He answers,
"Yesterday I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers, because
it's sooo much cheaper. So I figure if I have to roll my own, so does
she!"
rolling
papers = sigara sarmak için kağıt... so I figure... etc. = Ben de
düşündüm ki, madem ben sigaralarımı kendim sarmak zorunda kalıyorum, o
da tamponlarını kendisi dürsün!!
IF YOU'RE UP TO IT !!
Eğer Becerebileceksen
!!
A nun is walking
through a bad neighbourhood when this guy jumps out of the bushes and
has his way with her.
has his way with her =
muradına nail oldu, kadından istediğini elde etti (öykü anlatırken,
present tense = past tense...)
When he has
finished he says "Well, sister, what are you going to tell the Pope
about this".
the
Pope = Papa... Okunuşu: /POUP/...
The nun replies,
"Well, I will tell him I was walking home late one night in a bad
neighbourhood when this man jumped out of the bushes and had his way
with me....twice -- that is, if you're up to it.
that is
= yani, tabiidir ki... if you
are up to it = eğer becerebileceksen... becerebilirsen... Deyim:
to be up to something = üstesinden gelebilecek güce sahip olmak...
.SÜPER
İNGİLİZCE EĞİTİM SETİ.
KPDS
HAZIRLIK SETİ -- EN İYİSİ.
TIKLAYINIZ... Ayrı Pencere Açılacaktır
WHAT'S HIS NAME, AGAIN ?!
Neymiş adı, neymiş, bi
daha söyle bakiim!
Little
Indian boy goes to his father and asks, "Father, how do we get our
names?"
Father tells his son, "Well, we name our children after the first
thing we see when the child is born. For example, your sister,
Running Doe... When she was born, the first thing your mother saw
was a doe running through the woods.
doe = dişi geyik...
"And your cousin, Two Eagles... The first thing your aunt saw when
he was born were 2 eagles flying over the village."
eagle = kartal...
Then, the father gets curious and asks the little boy: "So tell me,
Two Dogs Fucking, why do you ask?"
WHAT
IT MEANS TO AGE !!
Yaşlanmak Ne Demektir ??
It Takes Me All
Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long
Eskiden bütün
gece boyunca yaptığım şeyi yapabilmek şimdi bütün gecemi alıyor...
SHE KNOWS ALL
THE CLUB MEMBERS INTIMATELY !!
Three women are
in a gym locker room dressing up to do their exercises. Suddenly, a guy
runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head and passes
the three women.
intimately = çok
yakından... locker room =
soyunma odası (çünkü odada kilitli soyunma dolapları var)...
He passes by the first woman, who
looks down at his penis. "He's not my husband," she says.
pass by = yanından
geçmek...
He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. "He's
not my husband either." She says, also not recognizing the unit.
"unit" = "ünite, birim"
-- burada tamamen mecazi...
He passes by the third woman, who
also looks down as he runs by her.
"Wait a minute," she says. "He's
not even a member of this club."
Wait a minute! etc = Hey,
bir dakika... Bu adam bu kulübün üyesi bile değil!...
SUPERMAN RIDES
AGAIN !
Süpermen Yine İşbaşında !
One day Superman
was bored, as there was no crime in the city and little for him to do.
bored = canı sıkılmış
(işsizlikten)...
Seeking excitement, he flew off to
see his buddy Spiderman. "Hey, Spidee, how about going over to a bar for
a cold beer?" But "Spidee" was too busy: "Sorry, not today."
seeking excitement =
heyecan arayarak... buddy
= arkadaş, can arkadaş...
This time, Superman visited Batman,
who was also busy.
Lonely and dejected, Superman
cruised around and flew by a brothel.
dejected /di-CEK-tid/
= ruhen çökkün... cruised around
/KRU:ZD/ = etrafta gezindi...
brothel = genelev...
fly - flew - flown =
uçmak...
Using his X-Ray vision, he looked inside to see Supergirl lying with
legs wide-spread on a bed. Being horny, Superman flew right into the
brothel, screwed Supergirl as fast as a speeding bullet, and flew right
back out.
lying with legs wide-spread
= bacakları açık yatmakta...
horny = sex-starved
= "abazan"... screwed =
becerdi... a speeding bullet
= hızla yol alan bir mermi (gibi)...
"What was that?" said Supergirl,
startled.
"I don't know," said the Invisible Man as he climbed off of Supergirl,
"but it hurt like hell!"
startled = şaşırmış,
irkilmiş... the Invisible Man
= Görünmeyen Adam... as he
climbed off = üstünden kalkarken...
DİKKAT = Türkçe'deki "tırmanmak/inmek" gibi iki ayrı fiil yerine,
İngilizce'de "to climb up" ve "to climb down", yani aynı eylemin yukarı
ve aşağı yönde olanı var. Burada da aynı eylem bu kez "off" kavramı ile
kullanılıyor...
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