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WHEN WILL MEN
EVER LEARN !!
Erkekler Hiç Öğrenemeyecek mi??
Due to inherit a
fortune when his sickly, widower father died, Charles decided he needed
a woman to enjoy it with.
Hasta
dul babası ölünce servet bir miras alacak olan Charles, bunun tadını
birlikte çıkarabilmek için bir kadına ihtiyacı olduğuna karar verdi...
(En alttaki nota bknz.)
Going to a
singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away.
singles' bar = bekar barı
(Tabii bizdeki gibi sadece erkeklere mahsus ağlama meyhanesi değil)...
spotted = gördü...
to take someone's breath away
= (hayran bırakarak) nefesini kesmek... (boğazını sıkarak değil...
Boğazını sıkarak öldürmek = to strangle / st-RÆNG-l)...
"I'm just an
ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two,
my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
I'm just an ordinary man, but...
= Ben sıradan bir adamım, ama...
The woman went
home with Charles, and the next day she became his stepmother.
Kadın
Charles ile birlikte evine gitti ve ertesi gün onun üvey annesi oldu!!
Linguistic
Note:
(to be) due +
mastar (infinitive) = --cek, --cak; gelecek zaman belirtir
due to + ad = --den dolayı (= because of)
The ship is due to arrive tomorrow. = Gemi yarın geliyor, gelecek,
gelmiş olacak...
Due to a storm, it has been delayed. = Bir fırtınadan dolayı gecikmiş
bulunuyor.
THE FATHER OF
MANY
A little boy got
on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his
collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that
way.
had his collar on backwards
= yakasını ters takmış... priest
= papaz, din adamı...
The man, who was
a priest, said "I am a Father".
The little boy
replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that".
The priest
looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."
looked up from his book =
bakışlarını kaldırdı, kitabı bırakarak...
The boy said,
"My Dad has four boys, four girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't
wear his collar that way."
The priest
getting impatient said "I am the Father of hundreds," and went back to
reading his book.
The little boy
sat quietly...but on leaving the bus he leaned over and said: "Well,
maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar".
leaned over = o tarafa
doğru eğilerek... pants = Amerika'da pantolon; İngiltere'de külot...
SOUND ADVICE FOR
WOMEN !!
Kadınlar İçin Sağlam Öğütler !!
1. It is
important to find a man who works around the house, cooks and cleans,
and helps care for the kids, and who makes money.
2. It is
important to find a man who loves to spend money on you, and show you a
good time.
3. It is
important to find a man who's good in bed and who loves to have sex with
you.
4. It is
important that these three men never meet.
sound = 1. ses...
2. (sıfat) sağlam, güvenilir, bozukluğu yada kusuru yok...
ÖRNEK: A man of sound character = sağlam, güvenilir karakterli
adam...
Yabancı XXX
Fıkra:
Türkçe Açıklamalı
İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's
Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,
Doç.
Dr.
Yalçın
İzbul,
"Practical
English
For
Turks"
Copyrighted
2001-2008
USING THE SPOON
A man entered a
restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked
the spoon off the table with his elbow.
knocked... etc. =
dirseğiyle çarparak düşürdü...
A nearby waiter
reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on
the table.
set it on the table =
masaya koydu yerleştirdi...
The diner was
impressed. "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?"
diner = yemek
müşterisi... was impressed
= çok etkilenmişti, çok beğenmişti...
The waiter
replied, "Yes. Ever since we had that efficiency expert in; he
determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By
carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."
efficiency expert =
verimlilik uzmanı (ABD'de bir meslek olarak mevcuttur)...
save trips to... etc. =
mutfağa kadar giderek zaman kaybetmekten tasarruf ediyoruz...
The diner ate
his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the
intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your
fly?"
intrusion /in-TRU-jın/=
araya girme, rahatsız etme, özel hayatına müdahele, fuzuli işgal,
davetsiz girme... intrusion upon
smb's time = birisinin zamanını alma, işgal etme...
string = ip, sicim...
The waiter
replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same efficiency expert
determined that we spend too much time washing our hands after using the
men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I
need to go, I simply pull the string, go, and return to work. Having
never touched myself, there is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of
time."
men's room = erkekler
için tualet... to go =
(burada kastedilen) çişini yapmak...
"Wait a minute,"
said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?"
"Well, I don't
know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."
MISFORTUNE
NEVER COMES SINGLY
Felaketler Asla Teker Teker Gelmez
It's Saturday
morning and John's just about to set off on a round of golf when he
realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the
washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the
clubhouse and phones home.
"Hello?" says a
little girl's voice.
"Hi, honey, it's
Daddy," says John. "Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy.
She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Fred."
After a brief
pause, John says, "But you haven't got an Uncle Fred, honey!"
"Yes, I do, and
he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"
"Okay, then.
Here's what I want you do. Put down the phone, run upstairs and knock on
the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Fred that my car's just
pulled up outside the house."
to pull up = Motorlu
taşıtlar için, "frene basıp durmak"... Sanırım, eskiden at arabalarında,
hayvanın "dizginlerine asılıp durdurmak" kavramından gelmiş olsa
gerek...
"Okay, Daddy!" A
few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone. "Well, I did
what you said, Daddy."
"And what
happened?"
"Well, Mommy
jumped out of bed and ran around screaming, then she tripped over the
rug and went out the front window and now she's all dead."
trip over the rug =
kilime ayağı takılıp düşmek...
"Oh, my God!
What about Uncle Fred?"
"He jumped out
of bed too, and he was all scared, and he jumped out the back window
into the swimming pool. But he must have forgot that last week you took
out all the water to clean it, so he hit the bottom of the swimming pool
and now he's dead too."
There is a long
pause.
"Swimming pool?
Is this 555-3097?"
=
Yüzme havuzu mu dedin? Orası 555-3097 değil mi?
EXTREME SEXUAL
EXHAUSTION
The teacher
gives the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this
particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except
illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family
(with an appropriate note).
assignment = ödev...
no excuses ... etc. =
hastalık dışında hiçbir mazeret kabul edilmeyecek...
with a medical certificate
= doktordan raporla... immediate
family = yakın aile çevresi...
A smart-ass
student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
smart-ass = "smart",
biliyorsunuz, "zeki, kafası hızlı ve iyi çalışan" demektir. Buradaki
bileşimi ise, "uyanık" (argo olumsuz anlamı ile) şeklinde
çevirebilirsiniz. Fazla kibarca bir anlatım olduğu söylenemez...
pipes up = diye öttü...
The class breaks
up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well,
I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
WOW
!!
.SÜPER
İNGİLİZCE EĞİTİM SETİ.
KPDS
HAZIRLIK SETİ -- EN İYİSİ.
TIKLAYINIZ... Ayrı Pencere Açılacaktır
HOW THE BISHOP DIED
A preacher
wanted to raise money for his church and being told that there was a
fortune in horse racing, he decided to purchase one and enter him in the
races.
bishop /Bİ-şıp/ =
piskopos... preacher /PRİ-çı/
= vaiz... to raise money
= bağış toplamak, para bulmak...
fortune = servet... to
purchase /PÖ:-çis/ = satın almak...
However at the
local auction the going prices for horses was so steep the Preacher
ended up buying a Donkey instead
auction = müzayede, açık
arttırma... steep = (fiat
için) sert, yüksek... Kayalıklar filan için: dik, sarp...
ended up... etc. =
Sonunda bir eşek satın aldı...
He figured that
since he had it he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To
his surprise the Donkey came in third. The next day the racing columns
carried this headline:
"PREACHER'S ASS
MAKES A SHOW"
figured = thought...
racing columns =
atyarışları sütunları...
headline = başlık, manşet...
ass = 1. eşek (donkey);
2. kıç... Dolayısıyla, Gazetedeki Manşet = Vaizin eşeği şov yaptı...
Mecazi olarak: "Vaizin kıçı şov yaptı"...
The Preacher was
so pleased with the Donkey that he entered it in the race again. He won
again and the columns read:
"PREACHER'S ASS
OUT IN FRONT"
Gazetedeki Manşet = Vaizin eşeği en önde... Mecazi olarak: Vaizin kıçı
en önde...
The Bishop was
so upset with this kind of publicity he ordered the Preacher not to
enter the Donkey in another race. The headline read:
"BISHOP
SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS"
read = diye yazdılar
("diye okunuyordu" kavramından)... Gazetedeki Manşet = Piskopos vaize
fırça attı... Mecazi olarak: Piskopos vaizin kıçını kaşıdı...
This was too
much for the Bishop and he ordered the Preacher to get rid of the
animal. The Preacher decided to give the Donkey to a nun in a near-by
convent. The next day the headline read:
"NUN HAS BEST
ASS IN TOWN"
Gazetedeki Manşet = Kentteki en iyi eşek rahibeninki... Mecazi olarak:
Kentteki en iyi kıç rahibeninki...
nun = rahibe...
near-by = yakınlardaki...
convent = manastır (rahibeler için)... Rahipler için =
monastery...
The Bishop
fainted.
PİSKOPOS BAYILDI...
He informed the
Nun she would have to dispose of the Donkey. She found a farmer who was
willing to buy the animal for $10.00. The next day the paper stated:
"NUN PEDDLES ASS
FOR $10.00"
Gazetedeki Manşet = Rahibe eşeği 10 dolara satıyor... Mecazi olarak:
Rahibe kıçını sokaklarda 10 dolara satıyor...
to dispose of = başından
atıp kurtulmak... stated
= dedi, diyordu... to peddle
= seyyar satıcılık yapmak...
They buried the
Bishop the next day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ERTESİ GÜN PİSKOPOSU GÖMDÜLER...
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