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WHAT A PARTY !!
A couple was
invited to a masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and
told her husband to go to the party alone. So he took his costume and
away he went. The wife, after sleeping for an hour, awakened feeling
much better so she decided to go to the party.
Halloween = Cadılar
Bayramı... Away he went.
= Anlatıma hareket katan bir sözdizim tarzı...
Since her
husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have
some fun by watching him to see how he acted when she was not with him.
So she got to the party and spotted her husband cavorting around on the
dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could.
cavort /kı-VO:RT/
= (USA) sıçramak, dansetmek...
chick /ÇİK/ =
"piliç"...
His wife sidled
up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner
and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him
go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.
sidle up to smb /SAY-dıl/
= birine sokulmak... seductive
/si-DAK-tiv/ = baştan çıkarıcı...
herself = kendisi de...
to devote = hasretmek,
tümüyle ona ayırmak/vermek...
stuff = "malzeme"...
Finally he
whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they
went to one of the cars and had a little bang.
proposition = teklif,
öneri... off they went =
fırlayıp gittiler... bang
/BÆNG/ = (argo) cinsel ilişki...
Just before
unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the
costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he
would make for his behavior.
to unmask = 1. maskesini
çıkarmak; (2. başka yerde, bir kimsenin"maskesini düşürmek" anlamına da
kullanılabilir)... slipped away
= "kayıp uzaklaştı/gitti", "çaktırmadan" ortalıktan kayboldu...
She was sitting
up reading when he came home and asked what kind of a time he had. He
said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when
you're not there."
Then she asked,
"Did you dance much?"
He replied,
"I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met
Pete, Don and Bill and some other guys, so we went into the den and
played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy I loaned my
costume to, sure had a real good time!"
STILL A VIRGIN
!!
A newly-wed
couple arrives at a hotel on their honeymoon and when they go up to
their room the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentle with me,
because I'm still a virgin."
The husband,
looking perplexed, replies, "But honey, you've told me that you've been
married three times before."
looking perplexed =
şaşırmış, hayrete düşmüş görünüyordu...
The wife
responds:
"Well, my first
husband was a psychiatrist and he just wanted to talk about it all the
time.
"My second
husband was a gynecologist and he just wanted to examine it all the
time.
to examine = 1. muayene
etmek (doktor)... 2. incelemek, gözden geçirmek; 3. sınava tabi
tutmak...
"And, my third
husband was a stamp collector and he just wanted -- "
She pauses for a
moment and then adds with a sigh,
"Oh, I do miss
him!"
I do miss him. = I miss
him very much (pekiştirilmiş anlatım tarzı)...
DIFFERENT SIZES
OF BALLS !!
When workers get
together they often talk about football.
When middle
management meet, they talk about tennis.
When top
management meet they talk about golf.
Conclusion: The
higher you climb in the corporate ladder the smaller your balls become.
İşçiler
futbol, idari kadro tenis, yöneticiler de bir araya gelince golf
konuşurlar...
Sonuç:
Şirket hiyerarşisinde nekadar yükseğe tırmanırsanız, "toplarınız"
o derecede küçülür...
Yabancı XXX
Fıkra:
Türkçe Açıklamalı
İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's
Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,
Doç.
Dr.
Yalçın
İzbul,
"Practical
English
For
Turks"
Copyrighted
2001-2008
FOR ENLARGEMENT !!
On their first
night together, the bride comes out of the bathroom, having taken a
shower and wearing a beautiful robe.
having taken a shower =
duş almış olarak... duş aldıktan sonra...
The proud
husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can take off your robe."
The beautiful
young woman takes off her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh,"
he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, I must take a picture of you
at once.
Puzzled she
asks, "My picture?"
He answers, "Yes
my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".
He takes her
picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower and change.
heads into the bathroom =
banyoya doğru gider, girer...
He comes out
wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are
married now."
So, the man
opens his robe and she exclaims, "Oh my God, Oh my God! Let me take a
picture at once".
He beams and
asks why and...
beams = yüzü bir
gülümsemeyle aydınlanır, beşlik simit gibi sırıtır...
She answers, "So
I can get it enlarged!"
Resmini
çekeyim ki, büyüttürebilirim diye...
COBBLES WORK
WANDERS !
Parke Taşları Mucizeler Yaratıyor !
Two nuns are
cycling down a cobbled street.
The first one
says "I've never come this way before".
The second one
replies "Must be the cobbles!"
to work wanders =
harikalar/mucizeler yaratmak...
nun /NAN/ = rahibe...
cobbled road = parke
döşeli yol... cobbles =
parke taşları... I've never come
this way. = 1) Bu yoldan hiç geçmemiştim; 2) Hiç böylesi bir
orgazm yaşamamıştım...
WOW
!!
WHAT'S FOR DINNER !!
It was Christmas
Eve and a woman came home to her husband after a day of busy shopping.
Later on that
night when she was getting undressed for bed he noticed a mark on the
inside of her leg.
Christmas Eve = Noel
Arifesi... mark = iz,
işaret...
He asked her
what it was she told him that she had visited the tattoo parlor that day
and on the inside of one leg she had "Merry Christmas" tatooed, and on
the inside of the other one she had "Happy New Year."
tattoo /ta-TU:/ =
dövme (vücuda yapılan süsleme)...
parlor = salon, işyeri...
Her husband
asked her what all that meant and her reply was, Well, now you can't
complain that there's never anything to eat between Christmas and New
Year's Day!"
asked her what all that meant
= bütün bunların ne anlama geldiğini sordu...
.SÜPER
İNGİLİZCE EĞİTİM SETİ.
KPDS
HAZIRLIK SETİ -- EN İYİSİ.
TIKLAYINIZ... Ayrı Pencere Açılacaktır
WHOSE ZIP WAS IT ?
Kimin Fermuarıydı ki ?
In a crowded
city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini
skirt was waiting for a bus.
zip = fermuar...
tight
/TAYT/ = sımsıkı saran...
When at long
last a bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that
her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the
first step of the bus.
at long last = sonunda,
nihayet... when... it was her
turn to get on = binme sırası ona gelince...
became aware = farkına
vardı... skirt /SKÖ:T/
= etek, eteklik... tight
= sıkı (burada) dar... too tight
to allow... etc = bacağını otobüsün ilk basamağına kadar
kaldırmasına izin vermeyecek ölçüde dardı...
Slightly
embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind
her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her
enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to
discover that she couldn't.
slightly embarrassed =
biraz utanmış, mahçup duruma düşmüş olarak...
quick smile = Bunun
anlamını, sahneyi gözünüzde canlandırarak, metnin gelişinden çıkarmanız
gerekiyor; örneğin "kısa ve utangaç bir gülümsemeyle"...
reached her back to unzip her
skirt a little = fermuarını biraz açmak için elini arkasına
götürdü... slack =
gevşeklik, (burada) pay...
So, a little
more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a
little more, and for the second time attempted the step.
Once again, much
to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the
driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was
unable to take the step.
chagrin /şı-GRİN/
= üzüntü, iç sıkıntısı, hayal kırıklığı...
much to her chagrin =
büyük bir hayal kırıklığı ile (gördü ki, keşfetti ki)...
About this time,
a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the
waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She was furious and
turned to the man and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even
know who you are!"
was furious= çok
öfkelenmişti...
The Texan smiled
and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after
you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."
to drawl = ünlüleri yaya
yaya konuşmak... fly =
pantolon önü fermuarı... I kinda
(kind of) figured... etc = Herhalde arkadaşız diye düşündüm...
HOW TO DEFLATE A
DOLL
Two elderly
gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they
needed to visit a whorehouse.
whorehouse =
brothel = genelev...
When they
arrived at the whorehouse, the madame took one look at them and decided
she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she
used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man's room and
left them to their business.
blow-up = şişirme,
şişme...
After the two
men were finished, they started for home and got to talking.
The first man
said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or
groaned... How was it for you?"
to groan = inlemek...
The second man
replied, "I think mine was a witch."
witch /WİÇ/ =
cadı...
The first man
asked, "How's that?"
"Well," said the
second man, "when I nibbled on her breast, she passed gas and flew out
the window!"
nibble = ufak ısırıklarla
didikleyerek yemek... to pass
gas = gaz kaçırmak...
flew out of the window = pencereden uçup gitti...
SEX AND SENILITY
A
ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young
man walks by and asks him what's wrong.
senile /Sİ-nayl/ =
bunak, bunamış (sıfat)...
senility /sı-Nİ-liti/ = bunaklık, bunamışlık...
park bench = bank...
to sob = hıçkırmak, içini
çeke çeke ağlamak...
Through his tears the old man answers, "I'm in love with a
twenty-five-year-old woman."
through his tears =
gözyaşlarının arasından...
"What's wrong
with that?" asks the young man.
Between his sobs
and sniffles, he answers, "You don't understand. Every morning before
she goes to work, we make love... At lunchtime she comes home and we
make love again, and then she makes my favourite meal.
sniffles = burun
çekmeler... You don't
understand. = Anlamıyorsun ki...
my favourite meal = en
sevdiğim yemek...
In the afternoon
when she gets a break, she rushes home and gives me oral sex, the best
an old man could want. And then at suppertime, and all night long, we
make love."
He breaks down,
no longer able to speak.
to get a break = iş arası
verilmek... rushes home =
koşarak eve gelir... to break
down = asabı bozulup hıçkırmağa başlamaktan ağır depresyona kadar
hertürlü kişilik çöküşünü kapsayabilen bir deyimdir...
The young man
puts his arm around him. "I don't really understand. It sounds like the
two of you have got a perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"
The senile old
man answers, again through his tears, "I forgot where I live."
it sounds like = Öyle
görülüyor ki, öyle anlaşılıyor ki... Bu deyime dikkat ediniz.
İngilizce'de gözle görülen durumlar için "it looks like"; kulakla
işitilenler için ise "it sounds like" tercih ediliyor. Türkçe'de böyle
bir ayrım gözetmiyoruz.... the
two of you = siz ikiniz...
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