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XXX -- FIKRA -- 08

 

 

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CONSTRUCTION WORKERS

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw. He sees another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him, but he can't make himself heard, so he decides to use sign language.

construction worker = inşaat işçisi... handsaw /HÆND-SO:/ = el testeresi... can't make himself heard = sesini işittiremez... Fıkralar tıpkı Türkçe'de de olduğu gibi present tense'de anlatılabilir...

He points at his eye meaning "I"; points at his knee meaning "need"; and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion.

Parmağı ile kendi gözüne işaret eder, ki bu da "ben" anlamına gelmektedir: "eye" ve "I" okunuşu aynı...

The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating.

nods his head = başıyla anladığını işaret eder (to nod = "evet" anlamına baş işareti)...

The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says," What the hell is wrong with you idiot? I said I need handsaw!!"

The other guy says," I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming."

 

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200 BUCKS

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell. The wife opens the door "Hi, is Tony home?"

"No, he went to the store."

"Well, you mind if I wait?" "No come in."

They sit down and the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."

Sara thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a 100 bucks on the table.

figures / says what the hell = aman canım bundan ne çıkar ki sanki diye düşünür... promptly = derhal, hemen...

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another 100 bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

Sara thinks about this and says what the hell opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another 100 bucks on the table then says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

Bana borcu olan 200 doları bıraktı mı bari?

 

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WHO WEARS THE PANTS??

Bu ailenin reisi kim? Bu evde kimin sözü geçiyor?

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband who was a big burly man tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on."

suite /SWİ:T/ = otel dairesi... burly /BÖ:-li/ = iriyarı, kocaman yapılı... pants (USA) = pantolon... (Dikkat: GB'da "külot demektir)... Here! = Al işte... Giy bakalım...

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said.

"That's right," said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man and I wear the pants in this family."

don't you ever... = Sakın ha... I wear the pants in this family. = Bu evde pantolonu ben giyerim, aile reisi benim...

With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.

to flip = küçük bir el hareketiyle fırlatmak... panty = külot... kneecaps = dizkapakları...

"Heck," he said, "I can't get into your panties!"

She replied, "That's right, and that's the way its going to be until your attitude changes!"

Heck! = Hay Allah! Hadi yav, boşversene! Yuh olsun be... gibi bir ünlem... until your attitude changes = tavrın değişinceye kadar...
 

 

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Yabancı XXX Fıkra: Türkçe Açıklamalı İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,

Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul, "Practical English For Turks"

   Copyrighted 2001-2014

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LICKS HIS EYEBROWS

A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks into the bar, with no luck.

good looking = yakışıklı... singles bar = herkesin tek gelip çift çıkmayı umut ettiği türden... has a seat = "oturdu" (deyiminiz: "to have a seat": "Come on in, have a seat." = "Gel içeri, gel; otur bir yerlere.")... during the course of = boyunca, süresince... to chat = lafa tutmak... with no luck = ama şansı yaver gitmez...

Suddenly a really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man walks into the bar. He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most beautiful women you ever saw.

within seconds = birkaç saniye içinde... is surrounded by women = kadınlar tarafından kuşatılır...

Disheartened by all this, the good looking man asks the barman, 'Excuse me, but that really ugly man just came in here and left with those two stunning women - what's his secret? He's as ugly as sin and I'm everything a girl could want but have not been able to connect all night - What's going on?'

disheartened = cesaretini kaybetmiş olarak... stunning = şaşırtıcı güzellikte (asıl anlamı, hayret ve şaşkınlıktan donduran, taş kestiren)... as ugly as sin = "son derece çirkin" anlamına bir deyim... to connect = burada, "kimseyle titreşim kuramadım" anlamına...

'Well,' says the Barman, 'I don't know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night. He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there licking his eyebrows...'

licking his eyebrows = kaşlarını yalayarak...

 

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SEX AND THE CITY !!

These three women were roommates. One night they all had all gone out on dates and they all came home at about the same time.

roommates = oda arkadaşı... to go out on a date = randevusu olmak, çıkmak... (Biliyorsunuz, "date" sözcüğü iş görüşmeleri için kullanılmaz: "appointment", veya "interview" gibi sözcükler kullanılır...

The first one said, "You know you've been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up."

"You know you've..." = Burada, "One knows one...etc" anlamında: Ben, sen, herkes bilir ki... with your hair all messed up = saçın karmakarışık durumda...

The second one said, "No, you know you've been on a good date when you come home with your makeup all smeared."

with your makeup all smeared = makyajın dağılmış, her tarafa yayılmış (bulaşmış, leke olmuş)...

The third one said nothing, but reached under her skirt, removed her panties and threw them against the wall, where they stuck. "Now THAT'S a good date!"

threw them against the wall = külotunu duvara fırlattı... stuck = yapıştı... "Now, THAT's a good date!" = "İyi bir gece (randevu, buluşma) diye işte ben BUNA derim!!"

  WOW !!

 

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CRUEL... CRUEL...

This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are watching the auctioning off of bulls.

way out = epeyce uzakta... auction /@:K-şın/ = açık arttırma... bull = boğa...

The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off: "A fine specimen," he says and adds, "this bull reproduced 60 times last year."

a fine specimen = türünün çok mükemmel bir örneği... to reproduce = üremek...

The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments, "See! That was more than 5 times a month!"

to nudge /NAC/ = dirseği ile dürtmek... ribs = kaburgalar (DİKKAT = "nudge smb IN the ribs")... to comment = yorum yapmak... See!... etc. = Gördünmü bak! Ayda beş defadan fazla!...

The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."

this wonder = bu harika hayvan...

Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month. What do YOU say to that?!"

bugs her husband = kocasına vıdıvıdı yapar...

Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.

The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!" The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"

to slap = tokat atmak, şaplak atmak...

The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, "Sure, once a day! But ask the announcer if they were all with the same fat cow!"!

irritated = sinirlenmiş, irite olmuş... yells back = diye cevaben bağırır...

 

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THE "POSSIBLE"

Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odour.

"Do you wash?" the doctor asked the smelly young girl.

body odour /O:-dı/ = vücut kokusu, kötü koku (A.B.D. spelling "odor")... smelly = pis kokan, pis kokulu...

"Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and I wash up as far as possible."

down as far as possible... up as far as possible = olabildiğince aşağı, olabildiğince yukarı... Yada şöyle okuyabilirsiniz: Aşağı doğru "possible" a kadar, yukarı doğru "possible" a kadar...

"Well," the doctor concluded, "Go home and wash your 'possible'!!!"

 

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DANCING FOR JOY ?

A man had just been laid off from work. He was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank below.

laid off = işten çıkarılmıştı... railing = parmaklık...

He thought to himself, "Life isn't so bad after all," and got off the railing.

He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life.

"Thank you," he said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind."

"Dancing? I'm not dancing!" the armless man replied bitterly... "My asshole itches, and I can't scratch it!"

to itch = kaşınmak... to scratch = kaşımak... (Yani, bir yerimiz "itch" eder; bizde onu "scratch" ederiz. Demek ki, bizdeki "oturmuş kaşınıyordu" kavramının karşılığı da "He was scratching himself" olur...

 

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VIAGRA FOR CLEANLINESS !!

An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra.

The doctor said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"

The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."

The doctor said, "That really won't do you any good."

The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

cleanliness /KLEN-liniss/ = temizlik (temiz olma hali veya alışkanlığı)... prescription = reçete (yazmasını istedi)... stick out far enough = yeterince öne doğru çıksın... to pee = "küçüğünü" yapmak... so (that) I don't pee on my shoes = ki, ayakkabılarıma işemeyeyim diye...

 

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THE WRONG KEY !!

All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend, "My bride-to-be is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt in case I do not return from the Crusade."

good knights = "good" burada "iyi / kötü" anlamında değil, yalnızca bir pekiştirici... the Crusades = Haçlı seferleri... bride-to-be = evleneceğim kız, müstakbel eşim... chastity belt = bekaret kemeri... in case ...etc = olur da seferden dönemem diye...

The company of knights were only a mile or so out of town when they noticed a cloud of dust approaching. Thinking it might be an important message from the town the column halted. A horseman approached. It was the knight's best friend, and he was yelling,

"Hey, you gave me the wrong key!!"

company = grup, bölük... cloud of dust = toz bulutu... column = yürüyüş kolu ("sütun" kavramından)... horseman = atlı... to yell = bar bar bağırmak...

 

seks fıkraları 07     yabancı fıkralar     seks fıkraları 09

 

 

 
 

Yabancı XXX Fıkra: Türkçe Açıklamalı İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,

Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul, "Practical English For Turks"

   Copyrighted 2001-2014

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