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Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul, "Practical English For Turks"

   Copyrighted 2001-2014

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XXX -- FIKRA -- 10

 

 

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COWBOYS AND INDIANS

A cowboy is riding on the plains. He comes across an Indian buck naked lying on his back with a hugh erection.

is riding = atının üstünde yol alıyor... plain = düzlük, ova... to come across = rastlamak... buck = erkek geyik kavramından, "güçlü kuvvetli ve viril erkek irisi" anlamında... lying on his back = sırtüstü yatıyor...

The cowboy asked curiously, "What on earth are you doing?"

curiously = merakla... "What on earth" = pekiştirmeli bir soru tarzı; "yahu, Tanrı aşkına, vb ekler gibi...

The Indians looked at the shadow of his dick and said "I'm just checking the time. It's 1:0pm."

dick = (argo ve kaba) penis...

The cowboy rode on. Soon he ran into another Indian. He was lying on his back naked with a hugh erection. The cowboy again asked "What on earth are you doing"?

rode on = atını sürmeğe devam etti (GRAMMAR: fiil + on = o eylemin sürdürüldüğü anlamı verir)... to run into = rastlamak (= to come across = to encounter)...

The Indian looked at the shadow and said "I'm just checking the time: It's now 2:30 pm".

The cowboy rode on. Later he came upon third Indian. He was lying on his back, naked and wacking himself off.

to wack off = to jerk off = (argo) masturbasyon yapmak...

The cowboy asked "Jesus Christ! What are you doing?"

The indian replied "I'm winding my watch."

= SAATİMİ KURUYORUM !!

 

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GIRLS' NIGHT OUT !!

Two women friends had gone for a girls' night out, but had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

decidedly = kesinlikle... over- = "aşırı" öneki (tersi: "under-" = yeterince değil)... enthusiasm = istek, heves, şevk, heyecan... had been... etc = aşırı içmişlerdi... Bacardi Breezers = Bacardi firması tarafından, rom ile hazırlanmış ve şişelenmiş çeşitli kokteyller... incredibly = inanılmaz derecede... to pee = (veya, to have a pee) çişini etmek... cemetery /SE-mıtıri/= mezarlık...

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

had nothing to wipe with = silecek birşeyi yoktu ("to wipe" fiilinin nesnesinin nezaketen düşürülmüş olduğuna dikkat ediniz...

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on one of the graves, and she proceeded to wipe with that.

to salvage /SÆL-vic/ = kurtarmak, enkaz vs. çıkarmak... ribbon = kurdele, kordela... wreath /Rİ:TH/ (/w/ sessiz) = çelenk... grave = mezar... to proceed ( + mastar) = yapmaya geçmek, başlamak, devamla yapmak...

After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

after they did their business = işlerini bitirdikten sonra...

The next day one of the women's husbands phoned the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights have to stop. My wife came home with no panties!"

"That's nothing", said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck between the crack of her ass that said:

"From all of us at the Fire Station. We will never forget you!"

  SUPER !!

 

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Yabancı XXX Fıkra: Türkçe Açıklamalı İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,

Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul, "Practical English For Turks"

   Copyrighted 2001-2014

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A REHEARSAL

Tiyatro oyunu, tören, vb için, "performance" gerçek sahneleme, seyirciye oynama veya gösteri; "rehearsal" /ri-HÖ:-sıl/ ise bunun seyircisiz provasıdır.

A newly married man was talking to his buddy at lunch. He said, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance!

buddy /BA-di/ = arkadaş, "kanka"... "rolled over" = Burada, "döndüm" (örneğin, sağ tarafıma yatarken, sol tarafıma döndüm" gibi... to tap = Burada, "parmakla tık tık vurmak" anlamında... to give a wink = göz kırpmak...

Later that night, about 2 o'clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had ourselves another performance.

to give a nudge (veya sadece, "to nudge" /NAC/ = (Genellikle dirseği ile) dürtüklemek (bu, birşeyler anlatmak amacıyla yapılan dostane bir davranıştır; hasmane değildir)...

Well, being so newly married and not yet tired of the task, I waited quietly in bed while my beauty slept until I couldn't wait any longer. It was 4 o'clock when I gave her a little nudge. She opened her blue eyes and smiled sweetly. We immediately had ourselves a rehearsal."

being so newly married = bu kadar yeni evli olduğumuz için...

"A rehearsal?" his buddy asks, "Don't you mean a performance?"

"No, because a rehearsal is when nobody comes."

 

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A MATTER OF POLICY

A couple on their honeymoon night are getting ready for bed. He takes off his pants and tells her to put them on. She starts thinking, "Hey, great! Something kinky is coming up!"

pants = Amerika'da "pantolon"; İngiltere'de "külot" (Bu bir Amerikan öyküsüdür)... panties = hanım külotu... kinky = cinsellikte "biraz sıradışı" uygulamalar için kullanılan bir sıfat...

She pulls them up to her waist and they keep falling down, time after time. Finally she say's "I can't wear your pants!"

pulls them up to her waist = beline kadar yukarı çekiyor... time after time = tekrar tekrar...

He say's "That's right, now you know who wears the pants in this family."

to wear the pants (or, "trousers") in the family = evde sözü geçen kişi olmak...

This time the bride takes off her panties and "Put them on," she says seductively.

to seduce /si-DYUS/ = baştan çıkarmak, kandırarak veya cinsel duygularını körükleyerek "sahip" olmak... seductively /si-DAK-tivli/ = cilveli bir şekilde...

He struggles and struggles, but can't get them past his ankles. "Honey", he says, " I can't get into your panties."

"Not until your attitude changes, my dear," she says...
 
attitude = tutum, tavır...

 

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IF YOU FIRMED THESE UP !!

Eğer Bunları Sertleştirirsen !!

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose."

walked up to  = yaklaştı, yanına gitti... to pinch = çimdiklemek... on the butt = kalçasını... control top pantyhose = korseli külotlu çorap (sanırım)...

While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.

on the edge of intolerable = tahammül sınırında, tahammülü aşmak üzere...

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said, "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."

bra = sütyen...

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by his penis, and said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, and the milkman at one go."

  WOW !!

This was beyond a silent response. = Buna sessiz kalınamazdı; tahammülün ötesindeydi... rolled over = bir yandan öteki yanına döndü... to grab = sımsıkı yakalamak... at one go = bir hamlede, tek hamlede, hepsini birden...

 

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WHAT RANDY RANCHERS DO

"randy"... "to feel randy" daha çok İngiliz İngilizce'sinde kullanılan bir deyimdir = sevişme isteği ile dolu olmak, yada daha kaba deyimiyle "abaza hissetmek"... "Abaza" kavramının İngilizce'deki tam karşılığı =  "sex-starved".

A ventriloquist cowboy walked into town and saw a rancher sitting on his porch with his dog.

Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"

"Hey, ne tatlı bir köpek. Onunla konuşmamın sizce bir sakıncası var mı?" ("Cool" sözcüğünü nasıl denk düşürürseniz öyle çevirebilirsiniz. Sadece bir pekiştirici: sevimli, kıyak, esaslı, harika, vb ne uygun düşürebilirseniz.)

Rancher: "This dog don't talk."

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it goin?"

Dog: "Doin all right." (Kovboyun ventrilog olduğunu unuttunuz mu?)

Rancher: (Extreme look of shock) (Bizim çiftçi şoka uğramıştır.)

Cowboy: "Is this your owner?(pointing at the rancher)"

Dog: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Rancher: (Look of disbelief)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Rancher: "Horses don't talk!"

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it goin?"

Horse: "Cool"

Rancher: (An even wilder look of shock.)

Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (pointing to the rancher)

Horse: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good. Thanks for askin'. He rides me regular, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements." ("the elements" ile "tabiat ve"hava şartları" kastediliyor...)

Rancher: (Total look of shock and amazement)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Rancher: (stuttering and hardly able to talk)... (Çiftçi kekelemektedir; konuşamaz durumdadır...)

Th-Th- Them sheep ain't nothin' but liars!!!

BU - BU - BU KOYUNLAR YALANCIDAN BAŞKA BİRŞEY DEĞİLLER Kİ!!

 

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THE BIG BLUNDER

A dinner conversation that took the wrong turn.

blunder = /BLAN-dı/ = çam devirme... to take the wrong turn = yanlış mecraya girmek, gitmemesi gereken bir yöne dönmek...

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" = O halde neden yeniden evlenmeyesin ki??

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (With a hurtful look on her face).

HUSBAND: (makes an audible groan). = işitilebilir bir inilti çıkarır...

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" = Başka nerede yatabiliriz ki? ("Yatmak" tıpkı Türkçe'de olduğu gibi çift anlamlı)...

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do." = Yapılması uygun ve münasip birşey görünüyor...

WIFE: "Would she wear my jewellery?"

HUSBAND: "Well, I suppose so."

WIFE: "Would she use my tennis racket, too?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - - silence - - -

HUSBAND: "Shit..." = TÜH, ALLAH KAHRETSİN!! HAY DİLİMİ EŞŞEK ARISI SOKSUN !!

Biliyorsunuz, "shit" sözcüğü dar anlamda "feçes, gaita, dışkı", anlamında hiç de kibar olmayan bir sözcüktür... Yani, tam karşılığı = B*K!!! Ama, günlük konuşmada, tıpkı "F*CK" gibi sürekli kullanımla duruma göre hertürlü anlatabilecek bir anlam genişliği ve belirsizliği kazanmıştır.

 

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Yabancı XXX Fıkra: Türkçe Açıklamalı İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,

Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul, "Practical English For Turks"

   Copyrighted 2001-2008

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ANCIENT HISTORY 101

Genel Tarihe Giriş Dersi

A Greek and a Turk sat down after watching the new film about Alexander the Great, debating who had the superior culture.

The Greek says, "We built the Hagia Sophia."

The Turk says, "We built the Süleymaniye."

The Greek says, "We had great philosophers."

The Turk says, "We had great statesmen."

The Greek says, "We built the Hellenistic Empire."

The Turk says, "We built the Ottoman Empire."

And so on and so on -- until the Greek says:

"WE INVENTED SEX." Cinselliği biz Yunanlılar icad ettik!!
 
The Turk pauses, thinks a moment: "That is true, but it was the Turks who INTRODUCED WOMEN INTO IT."

Evet, doğrudur; ama cinselliğe kadınları dahil eden biz olduk!!

 

seks fıkraları 09     yabancı fıkralar     seks fıkraları 11

 

 

 
 

Yabancı XXX Fıkra: Türkçe Açıklamalı İngilizce XXX Fıkralar, World's Funniest XXX Jokes, Kesinlikle Dünyanın En Komik XXX Fıkraları,

Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul, "Practical English For Turks"

   Copyrighted 2001-2014

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