MUST
LEARN !!
A man went to the
Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his
house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said
the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into
the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for
years!"
Yabancı
Fıkralar: Türkçe Açıklamalı İngilizce Fıkralar,
World's
Funniest Jokes, Dünyanın En Komik Fıkraları
Doç. Dr. Yalçın İzbul,
"Practical English For Turks"
Copyrighted 2001-2008
WHO'S
THE BOSS
A boss was
complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any
respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a
small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his
office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that
someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called,
she wants her sign back!
to tape
= (burada) bant ile yapıştırmak...
BEWARE
OF THE DOG
Upon entering a
little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying, "DANGER!
BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door.
country store = köy dükkanı...
(DİKKAT: country =
1. ülke, memleket;
2. köylük yer, kırsal kesim, şehir dışı)...
posted on the
glass door =
cam kapıya asılı... [Neden başlıkta THE DOG, ama ilanda yalnızca DOG
? Siz yanıtlayın -- yada bana mail atın]
Inside, he noticed
a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor near the cash register. He
asked the store's owner, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to
beware of?"
"Yep,"
the proprietor answered. "That's him."
hound =
tazı, av köpeği... cash
register =
kasa... folk = (burada)
insanlar... (Bizdeki, "Hey, millet, hadi sinemaya gidelim" deki
gibi bir kullanım)... are
supposed to =
(burada) olmaları gereken... beware
of sth =
(birşeye karşı) dikkatli olmak, temkinli olmak, kendini sakınmak...
yep = evet,
"yes" (USA)... proprietor =
sahibi, (burada) dükkan sahibi)...
The stranger
couldn't help being amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a
dangerous dog to me," he chuckled. "Why in the world did you
decide to post that sign?"
"Because,"
the owner replied. "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping
over him."
couldn't help
being amused =
bunu komik bulmamak elinde değildi; komik bulmaktan kendini alamadı...
[can't help +
gerund, yani fiilin -ing'li ad hali = elinde olmamak, kendini alamamak)... "I can't
help loving you"]...
to amuse = eğlendirmek...
amusement = eğlence
(ama, şenlik yada "oturak âlemi" anlamında değil; hoşa gittiği
için çalışma dışı yapılan birşey anlamında)...
to
chuckle =
"kıkır kıkır" gülmek, kıkırdamak, eğlenceli bulduğu için
kısa ve hafif gülme... Why
in the world =
pekiştirici bir anlatım; neden yahu? neden Allah aşkına? gibi birşey...
trip
over =
ayağı takılıp düşmek...
THAT
EXPLAINS IT !!
A very small skinny
man went to a lumberjack contest once and watched it for some time... big
burly lumberjacks hacking at trees, sweating, muscles bulging.
skinny =
sıska, bir deri bir kemik... lumberjack = oduncu, ormandan odun kesen...
contest = yarışma... [beauty
contest = güzellik yarışması]...
burly = iriyarı, irikıyım...
to
hack = balta vb
gibi bir alet kullanarak kaba kesim yapmak, baltayı sallamak... [Çağdaş
"hacker"
sözcüğünün de kökü]... to bulge
= çok iri olmak, yerinden fırlayacak derecede iri olmak... yerine sığamayarak
dışarı taşmak...
He went to the organizers and asked if he could take part in the contest.
The people there were quite amused by the skinny guy and he was told he
surely could do so.
the people
there = oradaki insanlar... were
quite amused = bir hayli komik buldular...
could
do so = "öyle" yapabileceğini
(yani, yarışmaya katılabileceğini)...
So the skinny guy got an ax, and hacked at a 100 year old oak. With
exactly one swing, the tree fell. People ran to the guy and asked him
where he learned to do this.
ax,
veya, axe = balta...
oak (oak tree)
= meşe ağacı...
"In the desert" the fellow replied.
"But there aren't any trees in the desert."
"Not anymore. Not after I've been at it."
"Artık
yok. Benim işe giriştiğimden/yaptığımdan beri artık yok..."
THE
NEED !!
The young lady was
on her n'th visit to a matchmakers firm, having got more and more
desperate in years to find herself a husband to her heart's content. She
put in her usual request: "I'm looking for a spouse. Can you please
help me to find a suitable one?"
matchmaker = çöpçatan...
spouse [spauz] =
eş (kadın veya erkek)...
The marriage
officer said, "Your requirements, please."
"Well, let me
see. Needs to be good-looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable,
good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home
during my leisure hour, if I don't go out, and --"
your
requirements? =
talepleriniz?.. be
willing to + mastar = istekli, gönüllü
olmak...
The list of her
requirements went on and on. It was seemingly endless: "Telling me
interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent
when I want to rest... Humour me when I am in a temper, and not fail me
when I am elated..."
went on and on =
bitmek tükenmek bilmiyordu... humour
smb =
huyuna gitmek, idare etmek... in
a temper =
kafası bozuk, asabi... elated = coşkulu ve uçuyor...
The officer
listened carefully and replied,
"Hmmmm, I
think I understand. You need a television."
THE
WOW OF SILENCE
A guy joins a
monastery and takes a vow of silence. he's allowed to say two words every
7 years.
monastery
[mo-nıstri]
= manastır...
wow
of silence /wau/ =
sessizlik yemini...
After the first 7
years, the elders bring him in and ask him for his 2 words. "cold
floors," he says. They nod and send him away.
elders =
"yaşlılar", burada kilisenin büyükleri...
to
nod =
"evet" anlamına başını sallamak... tersi :
to shake one's
head...
7 more years pass
and they bring him in for his 2 words. he clears his throat and say,
"Bad food." They nod and send him away.
cleared his
throat = (konuşma
öncesi) öksürerek boğazını temizledi...
7 more years pass
and they bring him in for his 2 words. "I quit," he says.
"That's not surprising," the elders say. "you've done
nothing but complain since you got here."
I quit. = Bırakıyorum,
ayrılıyorum... (Örneğin, işinizi bırakırken, veya iskanbil masasını
terkederken de kullanabilirsiniz...)
IN
THE ASYLUM
Late one night at
the insane asylum one inmate shouted: "I am Napoleon!"
Another one said:
"How do you know?" The first inmate said: "God told
me!"
A voice from
another room shouted: "I did NOT!"
insane asylum =
mental asylum =
akıl hastalıkları hastanesi, tımarhane...
asylum =
sığınılacak yer (zaten burası da insanların dışardaki zırdelilerin
şerrinden kaçıp sığındıkları yer değil mi!)...
political
asylum =
siyasi sığınma... to
seek political asylum =
iltica hakkı istemek... inmate
/in-meyt/= "içerdekilerden biri"... Nitekim hapishaneden söz
ederken de aynı sözcük "mahkum" anlamı taşıyacaktır...
THE
DUMB AND THE DEAF
Harold the Dumb and
Deaf David are out in the woods hunting, when David falls to the ground.
He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.
Aptal Harold ile
Sağır David... his
eyes...etc = gözbebekleri
geriye kaymış...
Harold whips out
his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend
looks like he's dead! What can I do?"
whips out =
hızla çıkarır... gasps = zorlukla,
kesik kesik veya zorla nefes alıyormuş gibi...
The police
operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can
help...
...First, lets make sure he's dead."
...There is a silence, then a shot is heard... Then Harold speaks again:
"OK, now what...?"
calm = sakin...
soothing = sakinleştiren, rahatlatan...
"First, let's
make sure he's dead." = Önce, öldüğünden emin olalım...
Bir silah sesi işitilir... "OK, now
what?" =
Tamam, şimdi ne yapacağım?
